Homework
by his den of sin
Summary: Bella is a jaded teacher in Forks, Edward is her new student. Can he surprise her?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there! After years of reading fanfic, I finally decided to take a chance and write my story. I've been thinking about it for a while and finally made my decision today. I'd really love your opinion since English isn't my native tongue.**

**Twilight isn't mine, as you already know ;).**

Michael Newton is an idiot.

It may sound harsh when said like that, but believe me and my teaching experience: Michael Newton is an idiot. He's without a doubt the loudest, most obnoxious and annoying person I've ever met. Lucky me, I'm supposed to teach him the basics of the French language, oh joy!

I'm sorry, because of Newton being Newton, I even forgot to introduce myself. My name is Bella Swan, 30 years old, single and bitter. Never would have guessed that huh? And to top that, my sarcastic nature makes my job hardly bearable at best.

You see, I'm a teacher in Forks High. Trust me, there's nothing « high » about it. Brown building, beige walls, annoying students, and a perfect setting to my boring life. I gracefully admit that I'm a bit negative (hah!) but who wouldn't be after a horrific break up from their long-time boyfriend , having to live with their father and sleeping in their childhood bed?

My musings are loudly interrupted when Newton decides that it's a good idea to see what's happening outside and to do so, jumps on his desk and opens the window.

« Mr Newton, after you're done catching pneumonia, kindly put on your feet on the ground, move them like I'm sure you've been taught, go to the door, open it and go to the principal's office » I say in a detached tone. _I told you I was sarcastic._

For once, Mike is reduced to silence and gapes at me like a goldfish. _Yeah, he really isn't the brightest crayon in the box this one. _The question is, is he going to fight me on this? I really hope not, I'm so tired and it's only 11.

Luck is on my side apparently because after a few chosen words and a shrug the side of Mount Everest, he finally decides to do as he's told. The minute he opens the door, though, Mr Banner, our principal joins us in the classroom, followed by a tall young man dressed in black from head to toe. I can't see his face or even his head, as it is carefully covered by a hood.

« Ms Swan ,» Mr Banner jovially announces, « as I told you yesterday, our new student joins us for the rest of the school year. Everyone, meet Edward Cullen. I expect you to make him feel welcome. »

This little speech is received with absolute silence. The boys are trying to size Edward up as possible competition. The girls are trying to find out his level of cuteness which is an almost impossible thing to do as he watches his shoes. Mike Newton is hoping that this unexpected event will spare him of the punishment he should receive and I just feel compassion for the boy. _Feel welcome, yeah._

I suddenly realize I have to react.

« Welcome, Edward. » I say smiling. « You can seat here », I add, showing him a table, near my own desk. He obeys with a very soft « thank you » and keeps his eyes low.

« Mr Newton, since you're already at the door, I suppose you were on your way to pay me a cordial visit, am I right? » Mr Banner asks with a sigh. Mike grumbles in acceptance and follows him out of the classroom.

« Ok everyone, back to the study of our Baudelaire poem. Read it to yourself first and then, we'll talk about it. » I give the book to Edward and he slowly opens it with long and elegant fingers. _Beautiful hands. _

_« _Now, is there a volunteer to read it out loud? » I ask, already knowing the answer. As I predicted, all students are looking anywhere but at me. _Bravery is a lost art, it would seem._

« Edward, I know you just got here but would you mind? » I'm so sorry to do this to him but do I have a choice here?

« Yeah, no problem. » His voice is still very soft but firmer than before. His eyes still have to meet mine.

_La rue assourdissante autour de moi hurlait.  
>Longue, mince, en grand deuil, douleur majestueuse,<br>Une femme passa, d'une main fastueuse  
>Soulevant, balançant le feston et l'ourlet ; <em>

_Agile et noble, avec sa jambe de statue.  
>Moi, je buvais, crispé comme un extravagant,<br>Dans son oeil, ciel livide où germe l'ouragan,  
>La douceur qui fascine et le plaisir qui tue. <em>

_Un éclair... puis la nuit ! - Fugitive beauté  
>Dont le regard m'a fait soudainement renaître,<br>Ne te verrai-je plus que dans l'éternité ?_

_Ailleurs, bien loin d'ici ! trop tard ! jamais peut-être !  
>Car j'ignore où tu fuis, tu ne sais où je vais,<br>Ô toi que j'eusse aimée, ô toi qui le savais ! _

He reads the whole poem without any hesitation, in a beautiful and velvety voice. It is so sensual I can't relate it to the shy boy currently sitting in front of me. I'm just stunned and it's my turn to gape like a goldfish.

I finally gather my wits and clear my throat.

« Edward, it was...great. » _God, what a brilliant reaction. _« Have you studied this poem before? » I ask. I realize with shame that I'm breathless.

Edward understands that he has to look at me. As he raises his head, his hood lowers and the little air I had left in my lungs disappears. Before me is the most magnificent and angelic human being I have ever seen. Beautiful messy bronze hair, sharp cheekbones, a jaw I could use to cut glass and last but not least, a pair of expressive eyes, a shocking green I've never encountered.

« Yes, miss. I spent the last summer in Paris and I took litterature classes. » His eyes meet mine for a few glorious seconds but as soon as he's done speaking, they find their way back to the ground.

Still, it's enough for me to be absolutely positive about three things.

One, I just met the most interesting student of my career.

Two, Edward Cullen is the most delicious male specimen on this Earth. As I look around, I notice all the girls either drooling or swooning and all the boys exchanging worried glances.

Three, he is 17 years old.

Oh yeah I forgot something...I'm fucked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter already! If you guys were wondering, the poem Edward read was « A la passante » by Charles Baudelaire.**

**A/N: Twilight isn't mine but I won't mind that sad fact if Rob consoles me...Not happening either? Damn...**

Charlie's house is the epitome of simplicity. Two floors, a decent living room and an open kitchen. What I don't like about it though is there's only one bathroom. Let me tell you, living with your single father and his shaven hair in the sink at the age of 30 is not just irritating, it's pathetic. Well, that's what I feel anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. He is kind and considerate, albeit very quiet and secretive. Moving with him after the whole Jacob debacle wasn't easy but it certainly beats enduring the hard eyes of a man you just realized you don't love. Consider me slow but it took me ten years to get there. _Yes, I'm bright, I know._

I collapse on the old leather couch. I feel more tired after this day at school than ever before. Students were not more challenging or testing my patience than any other day and still... My body feels like it went through a violent battle. Remembering my day, I can't help but be haunted by Edward Cullen's face. I'm sure Baudelaire, had he been into boys, would have been inspired by this one.

After the reading and his brief answer to my question, he retreated into silence. I tried to lead a discussion about the poem but it was hard considering I was still very close to Edward and detected a trace of sensual cologne on him, mixed with cigarette and mint. His scent and Jessica Stanley's perceptive comment that Baudelaire was « like, too fucking hard or whatever » were enough to drive me crazy. The bell saved me from pulling my hair out.

When it rang, I was surprised to see that my usually rushing students were not rushing at all. Girls, Jessica Stanley as their fearless leader, pushed their breasts out and shook their hair in a very Denise Richardesque fashion. Their subtle attempts were wasted though as Edward didn't spare them a glance. He very slowly put his books and pens inside his bag, and to my avid eye, seemed to want to avoid ant contact with them. After a few huffs, they got the message and left, not without admiring him from afar though.

Boys were funny to watch as well. They watched him as if he was a plague threatening their new wheat field. They were whispering words that suspiciously sounded like threats to take care of him after school.

After a few minutes, I was ready to leave the room and Edward finally got up. I almost lost my contenance when, as I was about to wish him a good first day, he opened his mouth and said:

« Thank you, Miss Swan. ». Not much, I know and I'm sure you're disappointed but trust me, you would kill to hear those four words from him.

« You're welcome,Edward. », I managed to breathe. _I'm a regular orator._

He pulled his lips up in a tiny smile and walked out of the room. His hands were shaking. I could relate, I was about to faint from too much emotion.

I had my lunch break with a few colleagues and Alice, my favourite one and teacher of Maths, frowned when she saw my face.

« What happened Bella? You look like you're about to fall on us. Did you eat this morning? »

« Yes, don't worry about me », I grumbled, conveniently looking for my tea sachets in the common room cupboard.

«Always the entertainer, huh Bella? »

I turned to the sound of the male voice and sighed. I was really hoping I wouldn't see James Grant today. As you maybe begin to understand, luck is rarely on my side and he was darting in my direction. James, how to describe him? 6 feet tall, very handsome, blonde short hair, radiant blue eyes (Victoria's words, not mine) and God's gift to Forks' women. Well, that was his opinion if you asked him.

James was one of the Gym teachers and as such, had a great body, well-proportioned and muscled. Even I had to admit it. The proportion perfection seemed to stop at his head though, his ego being the size of Australia.

« I have a new student this afternoon, Edgar Carven, I think. » James plopped on one of the plastic chairs we were privy to share and looked at me expectantly.

« Edward Cullen, you mean? » Alice asked patiently. « I think he had French litterature with you, right Bella? »

« Yes, he was there. Nice kid. » _Kid, it sounds so...insulting._ My voice was low and scratchy, I had to clear it again.

« I heard he's very good- looking, is that true? »

« He's handsome, yes. But he's a kid Alice! », I said, prompt to judge. _Hypocrit..._

« Well, isn't that nice? So Bella, free for dinner tonight, babe? » James interrupted. _Babe, babe?_

_« _No, as usual. » And then, I left, not before seeing their astounded faces, staring at me. _I guess goldfish is underrated these days._

I don't know why I reacted this way. I felt like they were intruding on my secret garden, my most private thoughts. _Edward Cullen was a student for God's sake! Breathe, Bella._

I took my tired self and my sandwich to my truck and was about to start eating when I saw my new obsession in an old silver Volvo doing the same thing. He was a few cars away and I could see him very clearly.

Call me hynotized but I couldn' take my eyes off him when he drank from his Coke can. The way his mouth moulded it, the sensual curve..._Wait, what's happening to me?_

I tried to eat but I was so disrupted I decided to give up. I gathered my bag and keys and was getting out of my car when I noticed Edward watching me shyly. When I caught him, he quickly diverted his eyes but even from the distance, I could see the blush on his beautiful face. I almost ran inside the building. I felt foolish.

My afternoon classes were a blur. Sitting on Dad's couch, I let the stress and emotions of the day leave me quietly. No (well, almost) thoughts of Edward Cullen were going to ruin my evening, I decided.

Yes, my evening was Cullen-free but after he appeared naked and pressing against me in a heated dream that night, I realized I was in deep trouble.

_What a surprise huh?_

**2 chapters today, I'm inspired! Please review, I'd like to know if you like it or not... Next chapter, next week, probably Wednesday.**


	3. Chapter 3

The alarm resonated loudly in my room. My hand blindly tried to reach and turn it off, but to no avail. After three sterile attempts, I finally managed to restore silence.

I stumbled blindly to my bathroom and groaned when I saw my reflection in the mirror. Stubble all over my face, hair sticking in every possible direction and deep bluish circles under my eyes. _Well if the way I look is related to how my day is gonna go, it's gonna be__ really bad. _

I'm still not used to living in this new house, this new place. After L.A, Forks is a welcome change and a shock at the same time. After my father's death, my mom took my brother Emmett and myself back to her old parents' house because she couldn't afford paying the apartment alone. We've been here for only a week and spent the first few days helping Mom to move in. The house is big and seems almost empty since we didn't have a lot of furniture to begin with.

Emmett is 2 years younger than me and will enter Junior year while I'll try to graduate high school in a few months. After all, it's already February. My dad, ironically and tragically, died on Valentine's Day, ten days ago.

After a quick shower, I get dressed. I choose black because I don't want to be noticed, as I fear this first day at school more than anything else. You see, I'm shy. And not your regular, vanishes after a few drinks shy, no painfully shy. I've always been like this, can't explain why. That's why Dad used to spend so much time with my brother and so little with me, I guess. When you spend hours being the only one talking, it can be annoying after a while.

I enter the kitchen a few minutes later. Mom is already here, starting the coffee machine and taking out the cereals. She looks exhausted, I'm sure she hasn't slept a wink since Dad's death. Emmett is here as well and addresses me a small smile.

"Morning, sweetie." Mom says with a tired grin. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not too bad", I shrugged. My night was unimportant, even though it was filled with nightmares and uneasiness. I was more worried about her. "And you, Mom?"

"Well…" she hesitated. She didn't want to alarm us or attract attention to herself. "I've had better." She interrupted me as I was about to protest. "I'll go see a doctor, he'll give me something. Don't worry, please Edward."

"Alright, I'll try. Emmett, you ready?" My brother nods and follows me to the car.

As we ride to school, the silence inside the car is painful. As I told you, I'm not the chatty kind but Emmett used to be. He seems to have lost his lightness and what made him what he was since the accident. We arrive at school without exchanging one word.

We go to the reception desk together. Mrs Cope gives us our schedules and useful papers as well as a quite uncalled- for flirtatious smile. I don't understand why she does that. Sure Emmett can be considered as handsome (as much as his older brother can judge) but he's 15 for crying out loud! As for me, I'm almost 18 so it's less shocking but what can she possibly see in me? Women must be blind because it's happened to me lots of times.

After a short visit to Mr Banner's office, he guides us both to our classes, first Emmett then me. As we're about to enter, I see the eyes of a boy on me. He watches me with an air of arrogance and superiority. He seems on his way out, though. I lower my eyes, already embarrassed.

The principal introduces me to the teacher and the class. It's excruciating, all silent and indifferent. Suddenly, a warm and husky voice bursts the cold bubble. It's the teacher, telling me to sit close to her desk. I obey, blind and grateful.

She stands and tries to launch the students in a study of a Baudelaire poem. _I hope it's "A la passante", it's my favorite…Yes!_

None of the others wants to read and then, she hesitantly asks me. My reserve evaporates, this is what I'm good at. Last summer, in Paris, I was so happy and passionate about my classes. It was the first and only time I enjoyed school, actually.

I read in a steady voice and don't trip over the words. The teacher sounds impressed and ask if I studied this particular poem before. I know I have to answer and, not wanting to be rude, I raise my eyes to look at her.

My heart explodes. The most gorgeous and sensual creature is in front of me and I want to slap myself for not seeing her sooner. Everything about her is beautiful but, even more than her body or luscious hair, I seem to lose myself in her eyes. I'm blinded by their magnificence and have to look down again. I just can't stand them on me, it's too much.

At the end of class, Ms Swan, that's her name, stays for a few minutes to clean up the room and organize her work. I put away my stuff as slowly as I can. It's not entirely an act to spend more time with her, her perfume makes me pleasantly dizzy. A floral and subtle scent, so different from the J LO cheap colognes girls my age wear.

As I finally stand up and find the courage to thank her for her class, I expect nothing. But then, she answers me with that voice of hers and I find myself unexpectedly hard. I flee from the class.

You see, I never swear. But after I manage to breathe normally again, I know I'm fucking in love with my teacher and in a fucking desperate situation.

**I'm early, please review! Next chapter as soon as my crazy life allows…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine (duh!).**

Maths is the most boring class. I hate it, I mean truly abhor it. For several reasons:

- One: all my Maths teachers were those old, whiny and bitchy teachers that every student has come to dread in his life.

- Two: I don't understand the logic. You could speak to me in Mandarin and it would still make more sense to me than a Maths formula.

-Three: In this particular Forks classroom, Jessica Stanley and Lauren Whitmore are sitting next to my desk, one on my right, the other on my left. Their shirts are open so wide you can almost see to their navel.

They are the new bane of my existence, I can feel it. Sure, they are pretty in a conventional, classic way, all blue eyes and curly fair hair. The problem is that their pretty eyes only reflect hardness and that their hair looks like a wig. Even though I don't give them any attention, they regularly touch my arms and shoulders. I swear, if they even come close to my legs, I'll strangle them. Well, maybe not strangle but they will be in trouble.

Now, Miss Swan, I wouldn't mind. When I think about her, air is suddenly squeezed out of me and I can't breathe properly. My body is vibrating with butterflies the size of dinosaurs and I really don't understand how I can even function as if nothing happened. What I understand even less is how fast my whole life was changed by this encounter. An hour and a half ago, I was a boring teenager with a boring existence. Now, I'm not suddenly interesting but I don't just exist anymore. I'm finally living, I feel it in my bones.

"Edward, you have to come to lunch with us! I mean, you will be like the most popular guy in school if you do. Did I tell you that Lauren and I were cheerleaders? Well, actually, I'm like their leader, you know? Are you on the football team?" Jessica finally stops to take a breath. I'm just astounded one person can say so many words in a few seconds time. She also has broken my sweet and delirious reverie about Miss Swan. I'm twisted between gratitude and irritation. Yet, you know, I'm a well-behaved boy.

"Yes, Jessica, we'll see. I'm not really into cafeterias, you know." I answer as politely as I can, through my gritted teeth.

"Come on, you have to come! Everybody who is somebody sits at our table. You gotta learn to avoid your los..."

"Ms Stanley, I kindly suggest you refrain from talking about anything besides Maths in this class, understood?" Mr Farrell snaps.

You know what I said about hating Maths teachers? Forget it, I love this man.

After the bell rings, I quickly escape to my dearest Volvo, the one place in this school where I feel safe and can finally let my thoughts wander. First, to my mom. She really worried me, and I was afraid she wouldn't keep her promise to see a doctor and try to get better. I knew I was being selfish but she had to pull herself together, if only for Emmett's sake. I realized it was hard though, the shock of Dad's death resonated in me as well, but less acutely. We'd never been close and though we shared a first name, my father was much more in tune with my brother than with me.

Speaking of Emmett, I didn't know what to do. He had really changed these last couple of weeks and after the initial storm had passed, had become just the shadow of his previous self. He'd always been exuberant, rambunctious at times but now, he was just like...me. A quiet person, who never laughed, never spoke loudly and never tried to bully you into playing basketball with him. I guess he had to get over Dad's death, which probably would take a long time but I couldn't help wondering if he would ever be the same Emmett again. He was totally different.

But then, who was I to talk? My whole being had been turned upside down a few hours ago. As you maybe guessed from I told you about me, I have zero experience with love and girls in general. I know I'm straight and attracted to beautiful women, but I had never reacted to one of them that way. Seeing Miss Swan for the first time would probably remain one of the most violent and beautiful moments of my life. In a more practical and less poetic way, the way my dick had hardened was a sure proof that my body as well as my heart had been affected. I wanted her. Me. It was the first time ever I could say I wanted a woman, body and soul. Don't get me wrong, I got erections before that but only when watching a special movie, in the privacy of my bedroom.

Obviously, I understood the predicament I was in. At 17, how could I even consider something with one of my teachers? She was beautiful, she probably had a husband and kids anyway. She'd never see me as more than a student, I should make my peace with that, right?

As if my brain had a Swan radar, I suddenly felt a change in the air around me and looked up from my half-eaten sandwich. My French teacher was currently sitting in her monster of a truck and eating. A sandwich. Like me. Away from loud and nosey people. Could we be more alike than I thought?

Apparently, I wasn't very discreet because she suddenly raised her beautiful eyes on me and I had to look away. I was so embarrassed to be caught watching her and yet, it felt good to share a secret with her. Yes, I was a pariah, on the first day of school and she was the only one to know.

I came back to class and tried to forget what happened before but my efforts were wasted. I couldn't concentrate on my classes at all. I was left alone for the most part, even if Jessica tried to reel me in her inner circle again. I had a feeling she wanted something more from me as well, so I acted polite but aloof. She finally gave up.

That night, I had trouble falling asleep. After a lot of turning and tossing, I finally succumbed and had the most sensual dream of my existence. Miss Swan was above me, grinding in my lap and naked. She had wonderful, round and luscious breasts that I couldn't reach, even though believe me, I tried. My dream ended with her getting closer to kiss me and me coming all over my sheets.

I got up to clean myself and my bed. After that, I tried but couldn't rest anymore.

The next morning, I was on my way to first period when I was called to the Principal's office. Mr Banner had been nice to me and Emmett, the day before and consequently, I had no apprehension at all on the way to his office. Mrs Cope was her same cheery, flirty self but I tried to let that go. After, all, she was harmless.

I entered Mr Banner's office quietly. He was on the phone and gestured for me to sit down. I did and watched the pictures of his kids, covering his whole desk. No woman though. Had he lost his wife? Was he divorced?

As I was considering this, Mr Banner hung up and addressed me a warm smile.

"So, how is it going Edward? Did you have a good first day?"

"Yes, Sir, thanks for asking."

"Sure, it's my job you know? Making sure my new students feel at home in my school."

"Well, it's been great", I lied. Well, not completely. My French class had gone beyond all my expectations.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. Edward, I asked you here today because there was something I wanted to discuss with you", he seemed hesitant.

"What is it, Sir?" I asked, my curiosity awakened.

"Well...", he was interrupted by a soft knocking on his door. "Yes, come in.", he shouted.

The door opened and the sound of heels and the sweetest fragrance entered the room.

"Ah, Miss Swan! Please, have a seat, I'd like to speak to both of you."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Twilight is mine. No? Are you sure?**

Breakfast is overrated. Why? Because when you feel choked up after having had a HEAVY sex dream about one of your students, let me tell you, you don't feel like swallowing your bowl of cereals or even a cup of coffee.

My night has been filled with Edward Cullen. His beautiful face, his striking eyes, his magnificent voice, his body…Granted, I don't know what the last one looks or feels like but, according to my subconscious, he is a God in a 17 year-old envelope.

Now to my next problem, Edward is 17. Where is my mind? How can I fantasize on him? Yes, he's gorgeous but he's my student. _Sure but have you ever had a student who looked like that __before? _

Never, I told you that before. Still, the guilt was there. You see, I'm a good girl: never drifted from the path, never did anything remotely crazy or daring. The one time I was not totally the person everyone expected me to be was when I broke up with Jake. We got together during college and he seemed like the perfect guy. No, let me rephrase. He was perfect, not for me though.

Why? Well, even if I am a vanilla girl, my heart has always been waiting for the guy who would destroy my perfect little life. My soul has been yearning for its mate. My body has wanted and desired a companion who'd make it sing. Not once did I feel satisfied physically and mentally when I was with Jake. He was, and still is a great guy but I made a terrible mistake staying with him.

_This is all fine and dandy, Swan but it doesn't explain why you suddenly have wet dreams about one of your students. _Sighing, I decide to go to school earlier than usual and lose myself in work.

On my way to my classroom though, I got called inside Principal Banner's office because he wanted to discuss something with me. He agreed on giving me a few minutes to prepare my lesson plan for the morning and after doing that, I got back and knocked on his door.

When I entered, I immediately knew something was off. There was someone else in the room, actually sitting in one of the chairs facing Mr Banner. Seeing my curious expression, the Principal gestured for me to sit as well and then my heart stopped and pounded at the same time. Have you ever felt that, like you're going to faint from a rush of something?

Edward Cullen was sitting in his chair besides me, his head bowed as usual and a stricken expression on his face. Well, from what little face he was showing. My hands suddenly felt clammy and my nose seemed to develop an "I love Edward's scent" pattern as I, discreetly I hope, gulped the same cologne I had smelled before. Sandal wood and musk, a lethal combination. My knees felt weak and I would have probably swooned like a teenager, had I not remembered suddenly where I was.

Mr. Banner cleared his throat, as if sensing my turmoil.

"Miss Swan, I'm glad you don't have class until second period because there was something I wanted to talk to you about." he started ominously. I started to tremble. Had Edward sensed my emotions towards him and decided to share this information with Mr. Banner? Oh God, I could be in very serious trouble. Would I get fired? Banner interrupted my inner rambling.

"As you probably know, Edward has studied literature in Paris last summer. Is that right, Edward?"

"Yes, sir" He answered in a barely audible voice.

"Can you tell us more about it?" Banner asked with a gentle smile, to put him at ease, probably. I was then struck by two very different realizations: I wasn't in trouble, apparently and I was going to hear more of his gorgeous voice.

"Well", Edward cleared his throat as well. "I stayed there for two months and took literature classes in a French summer school. I had a great teacher who was passionate about French authors, especially the ones writing poetry like Baudelaire or Victor Hugo." He still spoke very low but toward the end of his tirade, I could hear his enthusiasm shining through the shyness.

"Would you say you're passionate about Baudelaire, Edward?" Mr. Banner asked.

"Yes sir. He's kind of a unique poet, very dark and sensual. His work is wonderful." Hearing Edward saying the word "sensual" made me feel suddenly very warm in places not appropriate to mention when you're in your boss' office.

"Miss Swan, what are your feelings about Mr. Baudelaire?"

"Well, I agree with what Edward said. He's a very deep and intriguing poet. He created quite a scandal in his time."

"Exactly!" Mr. Banner exclaimed. "I feel like we need to bring a little excitement to this goody-goody atmosphere we have around here. I think a project around Baudelaire, the French poets in general would be a great way to change our students' perspective about literature, especially foreign."

"That's a good idea, Mr. Banner. What are you suggesting?" I asked, a feeling of dread overwhelming me.

"Well, as both you and Mr. Cullen are both such literature lovers, why wouldn't you work on a project together? I'll leave the how and when entirely up to you. The ideal date of presentation would be of course during the month of June, before graduation."

I must have looked pretty comical. I wanted to laugh myself. My body felt like it went through a seizure or was struck by lightning. Working on a project with Edward, spending time with Edward, being with Edward on a regular basis, outside of class, alone. Did Mr Banner have any idea what he was asking of me? Not that I would be sacrificing myself but I was seriously afraid I would jump the poor guy and scar him for life. What was I going to say?

"Edward, what do you think?" my oblivious boss asked. _Yes Edward, what do you think? What's going on inside this magnificent head of yours? _I was officially crazy, folks.

My student did the one thing I wasn't expecting. He turned and looked at me. I was hit full force by the intensity of his eyes and the surreal beauty of his angular face. When he watched me like this, I completely forgot he was a teenager, that he was off limits and that I was a lunatic for wanting him. He looked like a man, the most gorgeous I had ever met and he looked resolved.

"I'm up for it if Miss Swan agrees". As if I wasn't already dead and lying, metaphorically of course, on Mr. Banner's red carpet, Edward gave me the coup de grâce with a timid smile, slightly crooked and sexier than any grin I could have seen in a movie. He was really something else.

I looked at him as well and subconsciously licked my lips, my mouth dry in proximity of the male deliciousness next to me. Edward's eyes bulged then and he seemed uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat.

"Miss Swan, are you interested?" _Oh yes, very, you have no idea, boss_.

I turned back to Mr Banner and with my most convincing smile, said "Yes, I'm in".

My fate was sealed.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Edward, you're mine baby. What do you mean no? Who is that Meyer chick?**

Lust overwhelmed me, almost like a blanket thrown over my head. When she sat next to me, I almost died of embarassment. I was beyond happy to share space with her but my usually disciplined penis seemed to have a life of his own whenever she was near. Trust me, getting hard in the Principal's office with your teacher/woman of your dreams one metre from you isn't something you want to see happen.

After picturing Mr Banner in his underwear (_not Miss Swan, not Miss Swan), _I finally deflated and could face what would probably be a promising meeting. I must admit I had an irrational panic moment when I imagined Mr Banner could read my mind. He had seen through me and wanted to warn me that such thoughts about a teacher would not be tolerated.

Of course, it had nothing to do with that and he wanted to suggest a project he had in mind. I perked up when I understood that I would have to work on it with Miss Swan. My original shy persona seemingly disappeared, probably kicked out by the horny being I had become the last couple of days. I really surprised myself when I agreed to Banner's idea and even more when I turned to Miss Swan, begging her approval.

I felt like a million bucks when she looked at me as well. She wasn't a teacher then, she was a girl I had fallen for and who didn't know how to react to my love. I knew I was delusional and she was just thinking about her answer but I didn't care. I was encouraged further in my fantasy when she licked her lips. My hardness came back with a vengeance. _Oh God, Emmett in Mum's clothes._

When Miss Swan said « she was in », I barely controlled myself. I wanted so much to kiss her at that moment I literally had to grip the seat of my chair to stay put. I also was invaded with the image of me « in » Miss Swan, right there in the office. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and tried to relax. It just wouldn't do to think that way when she was in the same room as me. I must admit Mr Banner's opinion was important to me as well, cowardly as it was.

« Well, Edward, you can go to class now. Miss Swan, would you mind guiding our new student to his History class? I'm sure Mr Johnson wouldn't resent Edward for being late if you were with him. » Mr Banner declared playfully. _Did it mean that we would be alone? For minutes? Be still, my...everything._

After hesitating for a few seconds, Miss Swan finally agreed and led the way to History. The silence was painful and it broke my heart a little bit. She seemed jittery and stressed about something. Perhaps she was having second thoughts about our project...

I put our non talking to profit and detailed her face as discreetly as I could. She really had one of the most aristocratic oval face I had seen in my life. On her, it didn't appear pretentious, just beautiful and pure. Her thick mane of hair was cascading on her shoulders like liquid silk. It looked so soft. I envied the man who could caress it anytime he felt like it. Hated him actually.

At least, I knew she wasn't married. Miss means no husband. _Yes, Cullen, it makes it much more acceptable to fall for your teacher. _After trying to stop myself from finding ludicrous excuses like this, I realized we were in front of History class and Miss Swan would probably leave soon. I don't know where I found the courage but I finally opened my mouth.

« Thank you for coming with me. » Granted, it wasn't much but at least I had been polite and not blurted « I love you, have sex with me! » in the middle of the hall. You had to be grateful for the little things when life was hard on you.

« You're welcome, Edward. » she said in her husky voice. « I'm glad we're going to work together on this project. You sure seem interested by poetry. »,she added smiling.

« Yes, very. I really loved my classes. Paris is so...I don't know, exciting? It's such an ancient city and still very modern and aggressive. It's hard to describe it, but it sure surprised me. » I was astounded by what I had just said, I hope it didn't sound pretentious or pedantic.

She looked at me with a beautiful smile on her face and sighed shakily. « You are quite the surprise yourself, Edward. » She frowned like she had said something bad. « We'll have to talk more about this project. » and then, she knocked on the door.

As Mr Banner predicted, Mr Johnson seemed very happy to see Miss Swan, which made me dislike deeply from the very beginning. Apparently, he seemed to get the same vibe from me as he disdainfully showed me the seat I'd be occupying for the rest of the year. Pff, no Jessica or Lauren in view. Instead, I would have the honor of sharing my space with Tyler Crowley.

When the door closed, her eyes and mine met for a fleeting moment. My imagination must have been playing tricks on me because I detected longing in her expression. I probably projected my own feelings.

I was relieved and disappointed to see that we only had French on Tuesdays (yesterday) and on Fridays. Relieved because I couldn't endure any more tension and disappointed for obvious reasons. Two whole days without her smile, her fragrance, her simple presence sounded like eternity to me. It would allow me to regroup though. I couldn't follow the dangerous path of falling for my teacher, right?

Wednesday and Thursday were blurry. I went through my classes, did my homework and assignments when required and killed time, trying to focus more on my family. My mother had fortunately, and to my great relief, seen a doctor, a mister Masen who she described as a caring and interesting person. He could have been the biggest jerk on the planet, I would still be grateful to him for convincing my mother of taking sleeping pills. She had finally had a few hours sleep last night and it showed. Color had returned to her face and she seemed a little more lively than a couple days ago.

Emmett was still silent and reserved. The only difference I could see in his attitude was his poorly disguised interest in a girl from his grade. Rosalie Hell, or Hall I'm not sure. I saw him eying her avidly through the parking lot.

On Thursday night, I was starting to feel nervous about the next morning and seeing Miss Swan. I decided I had to look as good as I could and was preparing my outfit for tomorrow when I heard the phone ring. My mom picked up and started a conversation. It was probably a friend from home, enquiring about how we were.

Just as I was about to slip into the shower, with just my boxers still on, Mom knocked on my door and handed me the phone.

« Yes? Edward speaking. » I really didn't know who would call me at this time.

« Edward, hi. It's Miss Swan. »

Boxers, meet little Edward.

**Wow, two chapters almost in a row. I don't know what's happening to me! I guess Edward inspires me... I have an idea of who would be Bella in this story. Not Kristen Stewart, too young. I'll put picture in my profile. Next week, BPOV. Don't forget to review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Twilight is mine, Robert is mine, nice pink little pills are mine…**

Love is bullshit...That's what he said when I left him. I didn't blame him for uttering those three heinous words. I felt like utter shit myself for doing that to him, after ten years together.

We met during our first year of college in Seattle. I was studying French, of course and Jake was working very hard to become an engineer. I guess you've already heard this stupid saying, "Opposites attract", right? Well that's what happened. We fell in love, moved in together and started to live in a painful rut, all that in record time.

Jake was the Holy Grail for me, shy and mousy Bella Swan. He had one of those shining and warm personalities, one I always wanted for myself and never could attain. Living with him was like staying close to a mini-sun. Smiling even at dawn, when the alarm rings and all any normal person wants to do is throwing it against the wall.

The problem of the "opposites attract" concept is that it generally involves opposite tastes and ambitions in life. We were no different. Jake was crazy about sports and spent his free time running, climbing mountains and swimming when all I wanted to do was reading, going to the movies or to a museum. Sure, we tried to compromise but when you can't bond on anything with your significant other, the relationship is pretty much doomed.

Jake tried hard, as hard as me to keep us afloat. We had sex at least once a week and we asked each other how our day went every evening. The passion was long dead though. He was a decent lover, very attentive and sweet but I was never sated after love. He knew how to make me come but I never truly arrived if that makes sense.

After ten years of routine and nice conversations, I realized one morning that I couldn't waste away in a dead end relationship anymore. Jake and I loved each other but were not meant to be together. At first, I thought he knew that as well as I did but I was very surprised when I told him how I felt. He started crying and begged me to stay. After reasoning with him, he admitted we didn't have the most perfect relationship but wanted us to stay together anyway. I think he was mostly terrified about being alone. I couldn't blame him, so was I.

I moved out two weeks after that and spent the summer in my father's house, for the first time since I could remember. I started working at Forks High two months after moving in.

Edward Cullen was the thorn in my side. Since I first saw him, he was all I could think about, day and night. Like I told you, the first time I dreamt of him was quite graphic and left me panting like a dog, with visions of him pushing into me and fucking me into oblivion. I arrived that night, let me tell you…

That meeting in Banner's office was one of the most heated moments of my life. His presence was so real next to me I could almost feel his skin even though we weren't touching. It was such a terrifying feeling to feel connected to another person like this. I tried to rationalize it to the fact I was probably simply fantasizing about this gorgeous young man. I tried. After coming apart two more nights in a row, shouting my release so loud Charlie actually came at my door to check on me, I was forced to see it was more than a simple physical crush.

On Thursday afternoon, Mr. Banner came to see me after class and asked me to keep him updated about the Baudelaire project. He strongly encouraged me to speak to Edward before class tomorrow so we could agree on a schedule together. It was probably a good idea since I wouldn't have much time to discuss it with him during French. Trying to keep Mike Newton in his seat was a full- time job.

This could only meant one thing: I had to call Edward tonight. Oh God, how could I even do that? What could I tell him over the phone? I'd probably dream about his voice after talking to him…if I could talk at all.

Once at home, with Edward's number on a piece of paper reluctantly given by Mrs. Cope (what was this woman's problem by the way?), I stalled as much as I could. Grading papers, cleaning the kitchen, dining with Charlie, asking Charlie if he was going fishing, anything to delay that phone call. I was feeling Edward wouldn't be one simple student after that. _Yeah, Bella, maybe you should have thought of that before agreeing to this project, don't you think?_

I knew I couldn't put it off anymore, so around 8, I took a deep breath and dialed Edward Cullen's number. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears. I was about to drop the phone and give up like a coward when someone picked up.

"Hello?" A woman's voice, soft and mature answered. Who was that? An irrational feeling of jealousy overwhelmed me. I tried to keep my voice neutral though.

"Yes, can I speak to Edward Cullen? I'm his French teacher."

"Oh, you're Miss Swan, right? Edward told me about you."

"I'm sorry, Ms…?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Miss Swan, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Esme Cullen, Edward's mother."

I was such an idiot. Of course Edward would live with his mother, he was 17 for God's sake!

"Oh, yes of course Mrs Cullen, forgive me. I should have known who you were." I said all the while hitting my forehead with my right hand.

"I suppose you want to speak to Edward about this project he told me about. He sounded very enthusiastic when he told me about it."

"Really?", I smiled, remembering his expression when he explained how he felt about Paris. He made me want to go to Paris, with him as my guide.

"Well, you know Edward, he is quite introverted but I could sense he loved the idea of working with you."

"Hum…well…" I stuttered.

"Alright, dear I'll put him on. Can you hold for a minute?"

"Yes, sure, thank you Mrs Cullen."

The next minute was one of the longest of my life. I was bursting with anxiety and joy at the same time. Edward loved the idea of working with me…

"Yes? Edward speaking. "

Oh my god, he really had the best voice I'd heard in a man. _Bella?__ Focus!_

"Edward, hi. It's Miss Swan." There was a subtle gasp on the other line, subtle but I heard it.

"Miss Swan? Uuhh, good evening I guess."

"I'm sorry to bother you at this hour but I wanted to talk to you about the project."

"Oh. I mean, yes of course the project! Why else would you call, right?" He laughed softly, nervously. I almost lost track of what I was supposed to say.

"Yes, well…I wanted to know when we could meet to start working on it. Tomorrow is going to be busy in class so I preferred calling you. I hope you don't mind."

"No, don't worry about it. I'm glad you called." He cleared his throat. " I'm glad you called to talk about the project, I mean."

"Right." I'm sure I was redder than a tomato and hotter than a car hood in July. I certainly felt like I was burning. Everywhere.

"Well, I thought that we could meet during lunch break tomorrow to talk about it. We could grab a sandwich and start working?"

" Ok. Where do you want to meet?", he agreed.

"I guess after fourth period. We could meet at the café in Lennon Street, close to the school. Do you know where it is?"

"I think so."

"Ok, so I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"That you will. Good night, Miss Swan." He said very softly.

"Good night, Edward." I was glad he wasn't close to me right now or I'm sure I would have kissed him. Well, maybe I wasn't glad. How was I going to survive this project?

"Miss Swan?"

"Yes?"

"You didn't bother me at all."

Then, there was silence.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Bella, stop fussing, Twilight and Edward are mine. He's just pretending to love you,** because he's MINE and has to do what I say ;)...**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, put the story in their favorites or me in their authors' alerts. I really appreciate it! The adorable Pattypattz1 created some beautiful banners for « Homework », check them out on my profile. Enjoy!**

Me and my erections could feature in theme books: Edward's hard-on in the Principal's office, in the kitchen during breakfast, on the phone...Don't laugh, people, there's nothing funny about that. Ok, maybe there is but I fail to find it.

When Miss Swan called last night, I had never experienced such an intense feeling of desire and longing at the same time. I had trouble speaking and I'm sure I made a fool of myself several times. It was so hard, pun intended, to stay cool and collected when the person you want more than anything or anyone else apologizes for bothering you. Oh, I was bothered, but for a very different reason.

All I remember is that I'm going to see her today. Twice. Once alone. Well, maybe not totally alone but together. For the project. _Oh, forgot about the project again Cullen? It probably slipped __your mind when you treated yourself in the shower last night._ I had to…I'd never have been able to relax and sleep at all if I didn't. Turns out I slept like a brick after coming violently to visions of Miss Swan licking me like a popsicle.

It was very uncommon for me to fantasize about a woman. Sure, like any male, I liked to watch porn once in a while and masturbate as well but it was more for health and sanity reasons than anything else. Everybody needs sex, right? But feeling connected to someone you barely know, having your whole body tremble and hum from their presence and wanting to be with them all the time? It never happened to me before.

I shook myself from my state of stupor and walked down the stairs. I suddenly felt selfish and realized I'd been a terrible son and brother for the last few days. Miss Swan had occupied my every thought and it wasn't right. Losing myself in her wouldn't be good for me and it would prevent me of taking care of the two most important people in my life. We were grieving Dad's death and we all had to stick together, as a reduced family but a family still.

"Hey, bro." Emmett whispered when I entered the kitchen.

"Hey, Em. Why are you whispering?"

"Mom's still asleep. I checked on her and she looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake her up."

"You were right, she needs her rest. So it's you and me for breakfast, brother. What do you want?"

"Just coffee and cereals, I'm not very hungry." He lowered his head and I knew he did that when he was about to cry.

"How are you feeling Em? I'm sorry I wasn't more there for you."

"I'm…not g-good." He sniffled and refused to look at me.

"I know, it's difficult for all of us."

Emmett scoffed and a sad smile appeared on his tear- stained face. I knew what he was about to say and he wasn't exactly wrong.

"Difficult? What the hell Edward? It's not difficult, it's devastating! It's…uuhh I can't find the word because it's tearing me apart. Are you made of stone? Didn't you love Dad?"

"How can you say that? Of course I loved him! But I'm not as emotional as you, I get affected but I don't show it, you know that", I murmured.

"Why is that? I don't understand." He looked at me, his expression puzzled.

"It's in my nature, Emmett. I'm not expressive like you are but it doesn't mean I'm not grieving. I'm sorry if I give the impression that I'm cold but I'm not, ok?"

Emmett sighed heavily. He was young and probably was very confused by my behavior. I gave him his coffee and poured myself a cup. I wanted to distract him from this painful subject.

"So, how's school?"

"Not bad. I met new people.", he mumbled. I smirked because I knew who he was referring to.

"Oh yes, new people. How is Rosalind?", I asked innocently.

"It's Rosalie. You idiot.", he spat.

"Sooo, how is she? Do you like her?", I teased.

"Not of your damn business!"

I chuckled. It felt good to see a trace of the old Emmett even for a second. He closed himself after that and we drove to school in silence, after leaving Mom's a note and a fresh brew of coffee.

After second period, I was a jittery mess. My next class was with Miss Swan. I entered French with a feeling of mixed trepidation and anxiety. What if this whole project thing was a terrible idea? What if she realized I was a freak and didn't want to have anything to do with me? It could be such a disaster…

All thoughts flew my mind when I saw her, though. The purity of her traits, the silky texture of her hair and a …fucking red sweater was all I could see and comprehend anymore. She was glorious and I felt weak. She hit me like a bat every time I saw her. How could that happen to me, bland, uninteresting, passionless me?

Her eyes paused on me for a minute and the smallest smile stretched her lips. She seemed to scan my body for a short moment and I felt naked under her gaze. Maybe she liked what I was wearing? _It didn't sound girly at all, Cullen congratulations!_

I wanted to look nice today so I chose something classier than my usual black pants and black hoodie. I wanted her to see me, no hiding. After much hesitation, I finally settled on dark blue jeans and a white shirt. I looked different and Miss Swan wasn't the only one noticing, it appeared.

"Well, Edward, don't you look yummy today?", a nasal voice cooed from behind me.

Great. Lauren Mallory. And not by herself of course, but surrounded by her clique of girls, Jessica Stanley being one of them. Double great.

"Thanks Lauren." I answered politely. I didn't want to come out as rude or anything that could those girls more incentive to annoy me.

"Don't you think I look nice?" She persisted. Well, if persist means pushing your breasts forward and showing your legs to the whole class.

"Sure." I said indifferently, taking my seat close to my favorite teacher, like last time.

She was the most beautiful woman on the planet, no doubt. That…fucking sweater. I know I don't usually swear but…fuck. It wasn't outrageous or anything like that but outlined her curves just the right way, discreetly and womanly.

The class started, Mike Newton being his apparently stupid self. Miss Swan would have none of that though and threatened him to double his homework for the next class if he didn't stop his antics. That seemed to calm his exuberance.

Today, we worked on a Verlaine poem, very different from Baudelaire. As tortured but less sensual in my opinion. It was good though but the passion emitted by Baudelaire found more echo in me, I ignore why.

The title of the poem was "Chanson d'automne" and Miss Swan seemed to like it very much. She read it for us and I was in awe of her voice and intonations.

**Les sanglots longs  
>Des violons<br>De l'automne  
>Blessent mon coeur<br>D'une langueur  
>Monotone.<strong>

**Tout suffocant  
>Et blême, quand<br>Sonne l'heure,  
>Je me souviens<br>Des jours anciens  
>Et je pleure<strong>

**Et je m'en vais  
>Au vent mauvais<br>Qui m'emporte  
>Deçà, delà,<br>Pareil à la  
>Feuille morte.<strong>

She looked melancholic and nostalgic of something and I was desperate to know why. I didn't have the time though because the bell rang.

"People, I want you to research the symbolic this poem took during 2nd World War and also if it was used as something other than a simple poem. I want your assignments on my desk Tuesday".

After some heavy grumbling, I was finally alone with her.

"Hi, Edward.", she said with a smile. It warmed my whole body seeing her like this.

"Hi, Miss Swan." She seemed to make up her mind about something.

"You know, since we're going to work together and all, you probably should call me by my first name. It would be less formal, don't you think?"

I couldn't speak, she said I could call her by her first name.

"It's Bella." Yes, as beautiful as you are. My inner self rolled his eyes at me for being too corny. I didn't care.

"Alright, Bella.", I managed to articulate through my lusty haze.

"Well, I guess you have to go to your next class and my students are waiting. I'll see you later, at the café?", she asked.

"Yes, of course." I couldn't wait to see her later. I never wanted to leave her.

"And, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"You look great today."

I left the room, a huge smile on my face. Other parts of me were very happy as well.

**I hope you'll like this one. My update schedule has been pretty erratic so I'll try to update once or twice a week depending on my free time. The next chapter will be posted next Tuesday or Friday. I'm going to Paris for the week end, I'm so excited to go back there!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Twilight is mine because I share the same first name as the author. Impeccable logic.**

My closet is empty, EMPTY. There are clothes in it, though, which makes it surprising, right? My problem is that no top, skirt or pants look good enough to wear today. Everything seems bland and boring, which rationally isn't true, I know that. I'm not a fashionista by any real standards but I know how to dress. Was something wrong with me today? Oh, right, it could be the teeny tiny coffee appointment I have with Edward Cullen later.

I know, I know, I'm not kidding anyone with my pretend nonchalance. I haven't been able to sleep a wink after that phone call last night. I felt so embarrassed, calling a student at night, it surely couldn't be considered appropriate. Ok that's a lie, partly anyway. I also felt exhilarated and giddy after talking to him. He said he didn't mind me calling, that I didn't bother him. At all. _Bella, you're on a slippery slope, girl._

Sighing, I shook my head in disapproval of myself and finally picked up a red sweater I loved and black pants before heading to the shower. I felt confident in that outfit without being outwardly sexy. After dressing quickly and applying light make-up, I dropped a little Allure on my wrist, grabbed my truck keys and went out of the house. Charlie was already gone but left me a note, saying he would see me tonight and that he'd take care of dinner.

I barely had time to get to class in time, with the many copies I had to make. My first two classes went very quickly and suddenly, I was faced with the delicious prospect of seeing Edward soon. My heart started beating very fast and I felt like an immature teenage girl again. Speaking of immature teenage girls, Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley entered the classroom, their usual bored faces and large cleavages in place. They didn't say hello or aknowledge me in any way, _charming girls these two. _

Boredom disappeared from their faces in a flash, replaced by a shocked expression, tinged with lust. Wondering what could provoke such a change, I followed their eyes and felt my body heat up immediately, as if affected by a sudden fever. Edward. In a white shirt. And jeans, snugly fitting his long legs and …the rest of him. I swallowed and put a mask on my face. I couldn't help a tiny smile in his direction and the hopefully discreet check out of his body though.

At the end of the class, Edward stayed for a few minutes and the most embarrassing sentence I had ever uttered escaped my lips. "You look great today." Stupid, stupid me and my verbal diarrhea in his presence. I even was brave or crazy enough, depending on your point of view, to ask that he called me Bella. When he said it, as if to taste my name in his mouth, I almost fell at his feet and begged him to love me. I pretended I gave a damn about my next class and he went out, after promising to meet me later.

At the end of fourth period, I was a mess of nerves. Trying to appear calm and collected was a challenge let me tell you. Especially when you have to chat with your friend Alice, suspicious of why you don't want to take your break with her, and deflect the advances of your colleague slash stalker who genuinely doesn't understand how you can resist his charm. I wouldn't talk about the project with Alice until it was a little clearer, and until I wouldn't blush like a virgin when Edward was mentioned.

I entered the café and was pleasantly surprised to see it empty. My colleagues were mostly having their lunch in the staff room or at the cafeteria and there were no students as well. The reason was simple: the prices. It's cheaper to eat at Wendy's when you're still at school. I was a fan of this little café, though. Very New York, dark and intimate, but still cozy. The owner, Heidi, had moved out of New York to take care of her mother in Forks but had decided to recreate her city's atmosphere. That's probably the reason why the place was not very popular, except for the rare tourists lost in Forks.

Café Orwell was not totally empty. Sitting at one of the tables close to the entrance, was Edward.

His back was to me and I could only admire his large shoulders and that fucking white shirt. God, he was such a dreamboat. If I was a classmate, I'd tackle him and take him to the nearest closet. To be honest, I'd like to do that right now.

"Ahem, hi Bella!" Heidi called cheerfully. I jumped. I almost had forgotten we were not the only people in the world.

"Hello, Heidi." I smiled. She was a sweet woman and I related to her. Moving to such a small town after living in New York couldn't be easy to her. Yet, she gave up everything, so brave.

"Heidi, this is Edward." I added while Edward was watching us with a soft grin. "He's one of my students and we're going to work on a project together."

"Reeaally?" she asked, her eyebrows waggling like two caterpillars. "Nice to meet you, Edward.", she shook his hand firmly.

"Bella, come to the bar and order what you'd like, honey. It's on me."

She smirked and almost dragged me behind her.

"God, he's a cutie Bella." She whispered while preparing my coffee and sandwich. "How can you resist the hotness?"

"Because he's my student, Heidi, I told you that." I answered nervously.

"Well, that very well may be but…my God, he leaves me breathless!" she fanned herself while laughing.

"How much do I owe you?" I interrupted, worried that Edward would hear her.

"Nothing honey, it's on me, I'm in a generous mood today. Don't get used to it though, I need pesetas! Go "work" with your student…" she smiled deviously.

After thanking her and trying hard not to blush (and failing), I went back to Edward. He was sitting there, looking tense and beautiful as a God. _Losing it completely, right Bella?_

"Edward, did you have something to eat?", my eyes lingered on his large hand holding a simple cup of coffee.

"No, Miss S…, I mean Bella" I had to remind myself I was in a public place. " I'm not very hungry, I had a big breakfast with my brother this morning."

"Oh, Emmett, right?" I asked politely. I had a tendency to forget that Edward was not an independent adult, living alone.

"Yes, Emmett.", he nodded. "Do you know him?"

"Not personally but Miss Brandon does. She's one of the Maths teachers."

"Yes, he mentioned her. Said that she was very short and…spunky, I think. No disrespect of course!" he hurriedly added.

"Don't worry, Emmett is right about her." I chuckled and was delighted to hear him join me. It was the most wonderful sound, his laughter. I'm sure he could defrost even the coldest woman with that weapon. I was on fire myself.

"I'm sorry for bothering you last night…"Before he could protest, I quickly continued. "I know you said it was no bother but I really hope I didn't interrupt anything."

He laughed again and breathing was becoming a challenge. "Don't worry I was just about to take a shower so the only thing you interrupted was me undressing."

Our eyes met at the same moment and his green orbs reflected a mix of embarrassment for blurting that and a strange …tenderness, maybe?

I really didn't want to know what my eyes showed right now. It felt like my brain had started frying at the exact moment Edward had said "undressing". God, was he half-naked when talking to me last night? I made a strange sound, between a whimper and a sneeze.

"These allergies are a bitch, right Bella?" Heidi called from behind the bar. I threw her a murderous glare. I was grateful to her, however because she made me realize where I was and what I was supposed to do.

"So," I cleared my throat, "let's talk about this project, what do you think?"

Edward's smile faded a little and I felt awful. Cold.

"You're right, let's get to work."

**You can see a picture of Café Orwell on my profile…**

**Thank you to everyone reading my little story. Please review, it's very nice and addictive reading what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Twilight is m…ok, ok it's not (grumbling) but Homework is. Ha ha! In your face, Meyer.**

**Thanks to everyone who reads, rec's or reviews my little story. You have no idea how grateful I am…**

I felt naked under her gaze, like she could see right through me. It seemed like she knew what I thought even before I could express it with words. Her eyes were two deep chocolate orbs and reflected her warm personality, in more ways than one. They were shining and pure, innocent and sensual, all of these qualities she possessed.

When I entered the café earlier, the owner, Heidi, welcomed me warmly and sensed my nervousness right away. After seating me at a nice blue wooden table, she brought me a steaming cup of coffee and said « Always better to wait with a drink in your hands... ». She was right, I felt a little less pathetic.

Miss Swan arrived a few minutes later and I was ready to eat my arm. Why so nervous, you wonder? Well, the reasonable argument was I had a daring idea for the project and was a bit scared to expose it to my teacher, worried that she'd find it stupid and ridiculous. Which was true, I wasn't sure what her opinion would be. However, the real reason for my anxiety was the fact that I'd soon be alone (except for Heidi) with Miss Swan, in a non-academic environment.

She introduced me to Heidi and looked embarrassed at her friend's reaction to my presence. After a few endearing moments, I sensed a change in her attitude and adopted a « must get to work » face even though my heart was still pounding in my chest. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable with me. After all, we barely knew each other and this teacher-student relationship certainly didn't make things easier.

"I've been thinking about the project, have you?" Her voice interrupted my musings. Quite nicely, though.

"Yes, I have and a few ideas came to mind, actually." I tried to keep my cool and trust me, it wasn't easy. She kept subtly licking her lower lip after drinking. My dick liked that.

"Really?" She sounded shocked. I felt a bit offended, I must say.

"Why so surprised? I have a mind of my own, you know." The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. How could I be so daring, as to practically yell at her?

She didn't seem to fare much better than me. She blushed deeply and started stuttering.

"No…Edward, that's not…I didn't want to imply…" Sighing, she stood a little straighter and looked at me in the eye, almost sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, I certainly didn't mean that you were not smart, Edward. You are. Very, from I saw and heard of you in class. It's just that I'm having a hard time with the concept of one of my students working with me as a partner. It's so strange to not be in a teaching-learning relationship for once."

I couldn't have restrained my smile, even if I wanted to. She thought I was smart and considered me as her partner. Granted, it wasn't romantic but it was a good start. I realized I had to apologize for my harshness earlier.

"I'm sorry too. I don't know why I said that, Miss Swan. I hope you still want to work with me." What if she said she didn't? What would I do, fall at her feet and beg her? I was ready to do it.

"Yes, of course! Let's say we both put our foot in our mouth and the subject is closed, what do you think?" She held her hand for me to shake, with a sweet smile on her beautiful face.

I took her hand and was stricken by how hot her skin was. I felt very warm all over and it had nothing to do with the coffee. I raised my eyes to hers and wondered if I was the only one affected by the emotion between us. I saw her swallowing and trying to keep a straight face. Maybe I wasn't alone in this.

"Edward, don't forget. My name's Bella when we're not at school. So are we good?" The last part was whispered softly as she was afraid of the answer. As if I could stay mad at her…

"We're good." I said, reluctantly releasing her hand.

"So, what are your ideas about the project M…Bella?" I asked politely.

"Well, I thought we'd concentrate on a few poems from "Les Fleurs du Mal" at first. After all, it'd be a wonderful introduction to French poetry of that period." She sounded confident and happy when speaking about Baudelaire.

"I agree", I said, nodding. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why do you like Baudelaire so much? I don't want to be intrusive or anything…"

"Don't worry about that…I love him very much because he was the reason I wanted to study French in the first place."

"Really?" I asked, curious all of a sudden. "How come? He's not the easiest introduction to French."

She chuckled, which made me smile in return. Any small gesture or action on her part and I was a pathetic puddle of goo.

"Oh, trust me I know but he is surely the most fascinating and incredible introduction I could dream of. When I read "Le serpent qui danse" for the first time, I knew I had to learn French and discover it in its original version." Her eyes were dancing themselves and I was her willing prey.

"Which one is your favorite?" she asked, her face a little pink.

"Certainly "A une passante", the one we studied the other day. I just love everything about it, especially reading it. It's so…I don't know, alive and desperate at the same time." Her mouth opened a bit and she released a little sound, like the one she made when I told her I was on my way to the shower. The things it did to Little Edward.

"Anyway", she continued, clearing her voice as if she had a cold, "I thought we could start with a few famous Baudelaire poems and then lead the students gently into the world of French poetry." She smiled, sharing her joke with me.

"No traumatizing rush into literature, then?" I asked with a smirk. I began picturing Jessica and Lauren try to decipher Victor Hugo and couldn't help snorting.

Miss Swan smiled and gently gathered her mass of curls on the side of her neck revealing her pale skin. That fucking red sweater…

"No, we wouldn't want that! What were your ideas?"

"Well, I thought we could work on a few poems like you said and illustrate them, with drawings and music, to have them exposed in the school hall." I said, hoping she wouldn't find the idea too ludicrous.

She frowned a little bit and I braced for the worst.

"Do you have any ideas for a musical background? Because I'm decent at drawing." _I wasn't expecting that! _

"Actually, I thought we could share the work and each one of us would have to choose a piece of music and draw something."

"What if I had been horrible at drawing?" She teased.

"I doubt you could be horrible at anything, Bella." I blurted without thinking. That happened a lot around her.

"Well…thanks." She blushed again, clearly embarrassed. "I think it's a very good idea, Edward. I love it, really."

I beamed with pride. She managed to erase all my doubts, with her words. She made me forget any timidity or self-consciousness I had, every bad thing in my life. She even softened the pain of losing my father, as surprising and shocking as it could be. I didn't understand this hold she had on me but it was real.

My reverie was brusquely interrupted by Heidi's voice, bursting the bubble we were in.

"Sorry to bother you, my lovelies but I think you should go back if you don't want to be late." She looked sorry, like she was intruding on a moment.

Bella sat up, looking flustered and vaguely panicked. Maybe she had things to do before class, I thought. In her rush, she stumbled over her bag and fell. In my lap. I saw it happening in slow motion and couldn't do a thing to stop it.

I realized she had met Little Edward by the gasp that escaped her.

Kill me now.

**If you review, I'll send Edward your way so you can fall in his lap too…Next update, next week, probably Wednesday or Thursday.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Edward is mine, that's what counts, right? Alas, I'm kidding.**

Never had I felt more like an idiot than when I pretty much insulted Edward Cullen about his intelligence. His reaction had been tame compared to what I deserved really. He finally forgave me after a pitiful attempt at apologizing. I had stuttered and basically begged him to forget what I had just said.

I don't know why I said what I said. If I'm honest with myself, it probably has something to do with putting Edward in his place, as a student, no more than that to me. The feelings I was developing for him scared, _no scratch that_, terrified me and I wanted to put some distance between us. It turned out that I was even more terrified of him being angry with me and not wanting to speak to me or work with me anymore. I felt pathetic.

You see, I'm an independent woman and always have been. Even though I spent ten years with Jacob, I never relied on him or really let myself belong to him in any way. Maybe, that's one explanation for the failure of our relationship or the fact that I never surrendered to him during sex.

So the fact that I was so afraid of hurting Edward's feelings and of losing him in a way came as shocking surprise to me. I felt dependent of his opinion, of his simple presence.

The fact I mentioned sex with Jake may have not escaped you. See, my feelings for Edward were becoming stronger by the day and so was my desire for him. I have no choice but to admit that to myself. I want him. If my telling you isn't proof enough, the state of my panties after our conversation should do it. He was a beautiful young man, but I wasn't attracted to the whole package. Well, I was, obviously, but it was the little things that did me in. His crooked smile, the way his eyes changed color with the light, his fucking Adam's apple. Every little thing about him was a powerful temptation and I was powerless to resist.

I was aware of that during our lunch break and wondering if he would realize my inner turmoil. I knew my attraction was one-sided even though Edward probably respected me, or even liked me as a teacher and a Baudelaire amateur. Oh, the humiliation if he noticed how much I wanted him.

So, after Heidi warned us that we would have to go back soon if we didn't want to be late, I felt like a bucket of ice had been thrown on me. I realized how foolish I was for entertaining those kinds of fantasies about a STUDENT, _yes Bella keep repeating it you might believe it in the end._ In my haste to get out of there, I tripped on my bag, idiot that I am and fell right into Edward's lap.

I didn't have the time to feel mortified or anything because I suddenly felt something under me. Something I didn't expect. At all. Something warm. Hard. Very hard. Big. Kind of…throbbing too.

I wasn't naïve and knew what it was but I couldn't somehow wrap my head around the fact that Edward's dick was hard. Because of me. I heard a strangled moan and raised my eyes to his face and what I saw there was proof enough. A deep flush was covering his cheeks and his neck and he couldn't meet my gaze.

I didn't know what to do. I was torn between running away from the place, hiding myself forever and jumping him. Right here, in front of Heidi. It didn't matter anymore. All I knew was that I wasn't alone in the bottomless pit of my yearning for him and that he, at least partially, wanted me the same way as I did him.

Of course, I did neither of the things I wanted to do. I wiggled because I was slowly slipping from his lap and readjusted myself. He gasped them, the same little surprised and out of breath sound I did when feeling him underneath me. I realized then that I was panting a little and that I was probably flushed from too much adrenaline coursing through me. Edward had his eyes closed and a look of ecstasy mixed with pain was on his face. I understood completely. His erection felt incredible and made me feel better than any sex I had before. It also confirmed the fact that I was a bad person. Who in their right mind took pleasure in exciting their student? Me, that's who.

I was torn from my dirty and dark thoughts by a loud coughing. It didn't take a genius mind to understand that Heidi had witnessed our little predicament and was desperately trying to bring us back to reality, and reason. So, with a lot of effort I lifted myself from the place I'd love to never leave. Edward had still to raise his face and look at me. His embarrassment looked excruciating. I could imagine the feeling for someone as shy and reserved as Edward.

I decided to make it easier on him. Even though my body was still vibrating and screaming at me for leaving what it wanted and my skin was crying about the lost warmth, I opted to be casual.

"Now Edward, you finally discovered my most powerful and charming trait. My clumsiness." I was trying to sound cheerful but my voice treacherously broke at the end.

"I'll see you soon Edward, ok?" I was trembling from head to toe. Desire and fear were fighting to take control of me. Fear that he'd never want to see me again after this, that he'd never want to talk to me, work with me or smile at me again. Ever.

Finally, to my immense relief, Edward's eyes met mine, dark and shimmering with…tears? No, it couldn't be, right? Why would he cry, embarrassment?

"Y-yes, Miss Swan…" he swallowed. "I have to get back to class." And then, he ran away from the café like a little boy, caught doing something really bad. Like reeeallyyy bad…Great, my mind was in the gutter again.

"Well, Miss Swan! It seems you made a big impression…" Heidi's teasing voice reached my ears through a sort of fog. I hadn't been myself since I first felt him.

"Shut up." I grumbled, before seating tiredly on one of the tools close to the bar.

"Bella, this guy, this "student" of yours is crazy about you, can't you see that?"

I gaped at her. What did she know about him? How could she say things like that?

"Are you nuts? Of course, he's not!" I didn't even sound convincing to myself.

"Do you think you're fooling me for even a second? I'm not an old lady but the look I've seen in this boy's face, gorgeous one by the way, I can recognize it as love."

My heart was beating a mile a minute. Heidi couldn't be right, no it was impossible.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Heidi. Maybe, it's just lust. It's pretty common for a student to lust after his teacher…"

"Lust? Oh you mean, your little lap dance just now? No, no, that's not what I'm talking about!"

She was infuriating, this one.

"So what are you talking about for Christ's sakes?" I yelled.

"What I'm talking about, is the looks he gave you when you were talking, the smile on his face when he first saw you here, the absolute attention he gave you, all the little things that you're either too blind or too stupid to see.", she finished quietly.

"I'm not stupid! I have experience and I know that students can sometimes crush on their teachers! It's intense and exciting, but it doesn't last, it's not love." I insisted.

"It probably happens.", she admitted with a nod. "But, do you want to know the difference here?"

"I wasn't sure I wanted to know but whispered "yes" anyway.

"The difference is that you're in love with him too."

Well…fuck. I was more transparent than I thought.

**Oh oh, the plot thickens…What did you think? Leave me your reviews so I know what's on your minds ;).**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Little Edward is mine, don't be jealous!**

I ran blindly to my car and collapsed in my leather seat. How to describe what I was feeling? Shame, fear, embarrassment? All of the above probably mixed with a lot of arousal as well. Still, it wouldn't be accurate. The truth is I had never felt that way before. It was like the emptiness that was as much a part of me as my arms or my legs was suddenly gone. A warmth I had never experienced had taken control of my body and wouldn't let it go, to my utter surprise and delight. The delicious curves of her body and her scent were tattooed on my skin and in my heart forever.

I won't lie, little Edward had been looking forward to meet her as well. And when he had been acquainted to her legs and perfect butt, he had almost cried with joy, if you know what I mean. It explained the embarrassed and shameful part. I cringed just thinking about Miss Swan, _Bella's_ reaction to my little friend. Yes, it was lust at first sight for me. I know a 17-year-old boy is supposed to be thinking about sex a lot and I proved to be no different. In my case, though, only one woman was starring in my fantasies. I was in love.

I'd never thought it would happen to me. I never thought of myself as a passionate person. It was probably one of the reasons I had such a complex and almost cold relationship with my father. Men like him, into sports and full of life, expect their son to share their interests with gusto. It had never been like that between him and me. I was a reader, I liked drawing but never had I seen myself as a physical being, with urges, my whole body vibrating like a drum. Everything changed when I met her. Absolutely everything.

It was a shock to me when I started crying. I could see it was a surprise to Miss Swan, _Bella_, as well because she opened her mouth a little and had a frown of worry between her eyes. I didn't cry a lot, usually. When my father died, it had been a cataclysm in my life. Even if Emmett didn't think so, I was deeply affected and hurt, just like him. The fact that my father had probably never loved me like he loved my brother hadn't changed that. It's true though that it's uncommon for me to burst into tears and still, the feeling of her had released the tension and emotions of these last few weeks. She had unlocked me, in more ways than one.

I finally managed to calm down enough to be able to get back to class. Mrs. Cope tried to flirt again, while trying to be strict with me about my lateness. Pardon my French, but what the fuck was wrong with that lady? She wasn't completely devoid of decency however, because when she saw my pale face and red eyes, she delivered me the pass with no further questions and a sympathy smile.

My classes went quickly this afternoon and I paid very little attention to them. One thought was rolling in my mind, over and over. Now that the exhilaration had passed a little, I was crippled with worry. Surely Bella wouldn't want anything to do with me after the little stunt my dick had pulled. I couldn't believe this had never even crossed my mind before. Oh god, I had to wait until next Wednesday to see her! Four days without knowing would be just unbearable.

I tried to clear my mind before I entered the living room a few hours later. I didn't want to burden Mom with anything. Especially now that she was feeling better, thanks to her sleeping pills. She was sitting in the big old leather chair my Dad loved so much and staring longingly at one of their wedding pictures. She looked so sad I had to interrupt and comfort her. I did something I almost never did. I grabbed her and hugged her tightly.

"How do you feel, Mum?" I mumbled quietly.

"Better now that you're here, honey." Mom managed between sobs. "I miss him so much, Edward, oh god!"

"I know, I know, shhh…" I rocked her like a child and it seemed to work. We stayed that way for a long time and that's how Emmett found us after coming back from basketball practice.

"Hey guys…are you okay?" he whispered and joined us in our group hug. It felt good to see that my family needed me, that I was able to provide comfort, as modest as it was.

We held each other and I felt like a sort of new connection had been made between us. From the smiles Emmett and Mum gave me, I knew they did too. Mom laughed sadly and tried to lighten the mood.

"Boys, I feel like homemade pizza and a movie! What do you say we go to the store, grab some ingredients and rent an old classic?"

"Hell yeah!" was my brother's response and mine was a firm nod.

That's how we found ourselves browsing the aisles of Forks' superstore on a Friday night. Emmett was on a mission to find the biggest popcorn bag ever sold in the story of mankind and Mom and I were looking for the anchovies and olives when I heard a gasp behind me. Curious, I turned around and had to repress the urge to groan, loudly.

_Bella _was grocery shopping too, in yoga pants and a light sweater. Do you know what those kind of pants do to a man's crotch, especially on a body like that? Her white top was a little see-through and I could see a lacy black bra, subtly enveloping her breasts like a second skin. Little Edward, well not so little now, poked his head in the front of my too tight jeans asking "can I play with her too?"

I didn't even had time to react and say hello to her because, of course, Mom chose that exact moment to clear her throat and hold her hand for Bella to shake.

"Hello, I'm Esme Cullen, Edward's mom."

Edward's mom. Well, thank you for this delightful moment of humiliation. I felt like a preschooler.

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen. I'm Bella Swan. Edward is my best French student." How she would not faint every time she heard her own voice, I didn't know. It was so rich and warm, husky even. I couldn't help the proud smile that stretched my lips. I was _her _student. Her _best _student. And then, I stopped smiling because I realized something. I was her best _student. _

"Oh, then you are the Miss Swan Edward can't stop talking about! How's the project doing?" Mom acted curiously.

"It's going fine, thank you." She smiled shyly. I wanted to kiss her so much at that moment. Mom and all of Forks' population be damned.

"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Cullen but I have to go. Have a nice weekend. You too Edward." Her eyes met mine hesitantly. Her polite expression faded then and she wrapped me in a warm gaze. Not smiling anymore, not scowling either but apparently struggling with something. _I knew it, she doesn't want to see me anymore…_

She went away quickly, like she was running away from me.

"Nice young woman" Mom remarked "and pretty too."

"Yes…" I sighed without thinking. When Mom frowned, I quickly backpedaled "she's just a great teacher."

"Oh, I'm sure of that. God, I was pretty rude to her, wasn't I? My head is in the clouds lately, I didn't even say goodbye." She sighed.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll understand."

After Emmett joined us, we paid at the checkout and were preparing to go back to our car when Mom seemed to have a brilliant idea.

"Edward! Look, it's your teacher over there, near that…horrible truck. Oh dear…Anyway, run and invite her for tea tomorrow, honey. I was a bit short with her earlier and I want to make it up to her. Run, baby, before she leaves! Tell her to come at 5!"

My heart pounding, I managed to stop her before she sat in her monster of a truck and submitted her Mom's strange request to her. She hesitated and my heart almost stopped but she finally nodded her assent with a soft "alright".

I joined Mom and Emmett again. I wanted to hit my brother when he smirked at me knowingly. He gave me hell for when I teased him the other day about Rosalie.

We had a nice evening and laughed in front of "Some like it hot". I tried not to think about tea and French teachers. Tomorrow would be either terrible or wonderful and Bella held the decision in her hands.

**Please review and tell me what you think! Next update, next week… xo Steph.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I own Edward's black tee-shirt. I use it as pyjamas…**

I stare stupidly at Heidi while the minx keeps her perfect cool and smirks at me with eyes full of mirth.

"How...how...can you...? " Well, if I'm not a regular fucking orator today.

"Well, you don't deny it anyway. You know you can't fool me, missy." She declares all-knowing and wise all of a sudden.

"Of course, I deny it!" I shout, regaining my voice and my senses. "Are you crazy? Me in love with a student ? You don't know what you're fucking saying, fuck Heidi!" I swear a lot when I'm caught in the act and denying it, maybe you noticed.

"Bella, I wasn't born yesterday. You may protest until the end of days but the fact remains, you love Edward and you want him too." She smiles and she looks understanding, her arrogance gone.

"Ok, that's it, I'm going, I've heard enough nonsense for today." I gather my bag and storm away from the café. Heidi calls my name but doesn't follow me. She probably senses I need to be alone.

I join my classroom in a petrified daze, finally confronted to the truth. Some say that truth is the most painful thing a person can experience and I agree. It was all nice and dandy to fantasize about Edward in the privacy of my bedroom or to daydream about him in my bath but put someone else in the equation and it all goes down to hell. Heidi had uncovered my most secret thoughts and desires in a few minutes. And I thought I was so slick…

I'm thankful for the chattering of my students that afternoon. It keeps me focused on something else than Edward and his lips, his eyes, his laughter, his smile and just everything about him. It seems I can't escape him though because after my last class of the week, I overhear the nasal and so so annoying voice of Miss Stanley, queen of the sluts.

"Oh my God, Lauren, I mean Oh my God! Have you seen Edward this morning? He was just, like so yummy, I mean…I wanted to rip that shirt right off him and take him to the nearest closet!" Well at least, she, unlike me is not afraid to voice her feelings clearly. She has the right to, Edward is her age, not thirteen years her junior. She's a slut and a stupid girl but Mr. Cullen is not jail bait to her. I hate her at that moment.

To avoid murdering her in the middle of the hall, I go to the break room before leaving school for the weekend. Alice is there, sipping her cup of green tea. She smiles when she sees me, her warm eyes a real comfort after my awful day. Well, not entirely awful, just since I had an epiphany.

"Hey, Bella! How was your day?"

I shrug. It's not like I can share my torment with her. "Fine, I guess. I'm glad it's the weekend though." I lie. A whole weekend without seeing Edward, even if it's just in the hall is a dreadful prospect.

"I know, right? Do you want to go out tonight? Kate, Tanya and I are going to this club, Castaways in Port Angeles. You should join us." I would have probably agreed on any other day but the prospect of going out and having fun tonight was just too much. I needed the quiet.

"Not today, Alice but I'll probably be up to it next week." Her pout quickly changes into a bright smile and I'm glad I could do that. She's such a happy person, so easy to please.

"Sooo…any prospects, you know, dating wise?" she asks, eyebrows waggling like crazy. I can't help but laugh.

"No, you'd be the first to know." I can imagine the conversation. "Well Alice, I'm in love with Edward Cullen and want to rip his clothes off and fuck him in the middle of the cafeteria." Yeah, that would go well.

"You should give James a chance, he's crazy about you and from what I heard from Victoria, very…hmm gifted in a certain area." She whispers like it's a big secret.

"I don't know Alice…"

"Well, if it isn't the beautiful Bella and the adorable Alice!" James' voice booms in the room.

"Hi James…" Alice stutters, "hmm, I should go!" On that, she flees to the door, giving me a sheepish smile. Oh, her death is going to be slow and painful.

"So Bella, want to go out with me tomorrow night? Saturday night, come on babe!" He gives me the same rehearsed speech he always does. For a second, I want to reject him as usual but then, my inner wisdom, or lack of, scolds me. _Bella, he's a good guy, he could be a nice distraction and it's not like you can date Edward. Come on, have fun for once!_

"Ok James, I'll go out with you." I answer quietly.

His reaction is pretty comical. He's so used to being rejected he never saw that coming. He stays there and doesn't have anything to say.

"You know where I live, right?" He nods, still mute. "Good, so pick me up at eight." On those stellar words, I leave the room.

I come home to find Charlie, in front of the TV, watching a baseball game.

"Hey, Bells, I missed you this week. Damn double shifts!" He grumbles and gives me a tired smile. His presence is such a comfort I want to do something for him. Kissing his cheek, I'm struck by a sudden inspiration.

"You know what Dad? I'm going to take a quick shower and go to the superstore to pick up some ingredients and make us those lasagnas you love." Charlie's eyes sparkle like a kid's.

"Yeah Bells! And then we could watch "Some like it hot" like when you were a kid, what do you say? I have it on DVD." Yes, a quiet night with my dad is what I need.

"Ok, I'll be back soon!"

About 30 minutes later, I find myself browsing for pasta and tomatoes sauce. I'm thinking my weekend won't maybe be so bad when I hear six words that make me froze where I stand.

"Edward, did you find the anchovies?"

I gasp, I can't help it. No, it can't be, I reason with myself. Since there's no other way to know for sure, I slowly turn around. Here he stands, in all his glory and he seems as surprised as I am.

I barely listen to his mother asking me about our project and runs away as soon as I can. I won't be destroyed by my feeling for this boy, it just can't happen. I have to forget about him. _Yes Bella, brilliant plan, since you're going to work with him all the time. _

I'm almost in my truck seat when I hear footsteps running towards me. Edward is panting and seems very embarrassed.

"Miss Swan, Mom would like to invite you for tea tomorrow at five if you can join us." He sounds like in a rush to ask, as if he was afraid I'd interrupt him. Little does he know I want to listen to his voice until the end of times. Wait, his mom wants me for tea? Oh god, what should I do? It wouldn't be right, right?

I raise my eyes to his face and my decision is made. He looks like a lost little boy and I can't resist him. I can deal with tea. Tea is fine.

"Alright, I' ll be there." I say softly and he smiles. That damn fucking smile of his.

"See you tomorrow then…" And then, he's gone, leaving me breathless.

I'm a jittery mess on the Cullens' porch the following day. I brought flowers and I feel stupid. I also feel inadequate and badly dressed, like it's my first day of school.

"Miss Swan! Please, come in." Edward's mom is all smiles and soft perfume. I let myself in hesitantly and almost faint when I see Edward coming towards me, dressed in his usual black tee-shirt and jeans. He's scrumptious.

"Miss Swan, good evening." He greets me politely and quietly and it fucking bothers me even though it shouldn't. I don't want him polite, I want him period.

"Hi, Edward." I almost snort at my own polite tone.

"Mum, what's that smell?" Edwards scrunches up his nose, in an adorable way. He's right though. A nasty burnt smell is coming from the kitchen.

"Oh dear, oh dear! My pie! I have to make another one…Please Miss Swan, sit and make yourself comfortable. Edward will keep you company." She runs to the kitchen, completely oblivious of our predicament.

Her son looks like she asked him to jump from the Empire State Building and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm alone with Edward.

**There you go, an early update. I like surprising you this way. Thanks to everyone reviewing and reading my story, I'm so happy to read what you think. So, you know what you have to do ;)! **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: My imaginary boyfriend is English …Twilight isn't mine though.**

**Thanks for the reviews, lurkers are welcome to share their thoughts as well ****. Still, I'm thankful for everybody reading my little story.**

"Emmett! Get your fucking sneakers out of the way!" I yelled at my brother for the third time in about ten minutes. He went out of his bedroom, an annoyed yet amused expression on his face.

"Bro, am I dreaming? Did you just say "fuck"? I never thought I'd see the day." He laughed, only increasing my irritation.

Well, I'm glad he finds that happy, really glad! How can he not realize how important tonight is for me? Of course he doesn't know about my feelings, does he? The smirk he wore yesterday told me he suspected something though. I really hope he will keep what he knows to himself because sharing this kind of information with Mom would lead to World War 3. She's not a mean woman nor is she judgemental but you touch one of her kids and Mom becomes Mike Tyson. I guess all mothers are like her.

Emmett finally seems to take pity on me and takes his sneakers to his room where they belong. At the exact moment he shuts his door, isolating himself once again, the bell rings. I jump at least a metre high and start breathing heavily. Panting actually, like I just ran a marathon. Scolding myself, I try to channel my inner cool and marginally succeed. After a few deep calming breaths, I walk down the stairs, trying to appear nonchalant while I' m shaking inside.

I smell her before I see her. I know it sounds creepy but all my senses are in alert when she's near and her perfume is one of my favorite things about her. It's like her, delicate and sophisticated. A non-sugary fragrance, very simple and straight to the point but also complex and refined, I love it. I could become a perfume tester with my sudden knowledge about fragrances, I mused briefly.

Mom has finished greeting her at the door and she's standing in the foyer, looking very uncomfortable but as beautiful as ever. A simple black dress, small heels and a pretty bouquet of flowers enhance her gorgeous face. I barely see that though. All that matters to me is her expression. She looks panicked and afraid. I share her feelings. I want to pull her to me and hug her or kiss her, I'm unsure.

It's my turn to greet her. I hate the fakeness of my voice, the forced politeness when all I want to do is take her to my room. I feel both like a coward and a pervert. It's not a winning combination. A foul smell thankfully distracts me from thoughts.

"Mom, what's that smell?" I suspect the apple pie has suffered and is now dead in the oven. Mom is not exactly a great cook.

"Oh dear, oh dear! My pie!" Yep, that's what I thought. "I have to make another one…" Wait, what? "Please, Miss Swan, sit and make yourself comfortable. Edward will keep you company."

I almost stumble on my two feet. My best dream and worst nightmare are rolled into this one sentence. _Edward will keep you company._ After my stunt at the café, how can I keep her company without turning into a freak?

I'm torn from my dilemma by Bella's clearing her throat.

"Edward? Want to sit with me? I think we have to talk about yesterday." And there it is. This is where my crazy fantasy ends I guess. I sit cautiously, as far from her as I can.

"I hope you're not embarrassed about what happened." Her voice is very soft, as she was talking to a child. The way she looks at me is anything but maternal however. I'm grateful for that.

"Yes, Miss Swan. I'm really embarrassed.", I mumble painfully. "I apologize."

I can't watch her after that. My eyes are suddenly very captivated by her shoes. Hmm, nice ankles…God, I'm hopeless!

"Edward, I'm the one who should be embarrassed. I tripped and fell on your lap. How clumsier can I get?" She laughs softly. Hope rises again in my heart. Maybe everything's not lost.

"I' m sorry too, Edward. If you had a…reaction, it's entirely my fault." She's right about that. It's her fault for being so sexy and wonderful.

"So you don't think I'm a…" I sigh deeply and take a deep breath "…pervert then?"

She blushes deeply. She seems in pain about something.

"No, I don't think that. Actually I…"

"Well, the pie is ready! I'll have to be more careful for this one!" Mom declares happily, back from the kitchen. Damn! What was she about to say? Actually, what?

"Miss Swan, I hope you didn't take offence from my shortness yesterday. I'm not myself these last few weeks. Edward has probably told you about our situation." She says a sad frown on her face.

I feel shameful. I didn't mention anything to Bella. I didn't want her to pity me or see me differently.

"No, I don't think he has…" Bella sounds uncertain and desperate to be tactful. We're both walking on eggshells around each other and it makes me want to scream.

"It…never came up." I whisper hesitantly, my eyes travelling between my mother's shocked face and Bella's encouraging smile.

"Well, I guess it's not easy to say…" Mon admits with a sigh. "My husband died a couple of weeks ago. He was killed in a car accident." She continues in a numb, neutral voice. She has to distance herself or she will crumble right in front or her guest. Esme Cullen is not a good cook but she's a proud woman.

Bella looks horrified. Her mouth is half-open and her eyes are wide. She tries not to gasp but I can see it's hard for her. It's my turn to smile to comfort her.

"Hmm, I don't know what to say…Mrs. Cullen, I'm so sorry for your loss." She manages to stay professional even though I can hear her voice trembling.

"Thank you, it's very kind of you. Please, call me Esme. I don't like "Mrs. Cullen" very much." Mom tries to lighten the mood but it's hopeless.

"Call me Bella, then." Her warmth soothes me. Seeing my mother's crushed face destroys me once more but I feel better with her next to me.

"I'm going to bring the pie and tea. Don't want to burn another one!" Mom jokes weakly, eliciting an equally weak chuckle from Bella.

As soon as Mom is out of view, my teacher does something that almost stops my heart from beating. She places her hand on top of mine and squeezes.

"I'm sorry, Edward…I…I don't know what to tell you. I can't imagine how painful it must be for you and your brother."

I can only nod and look her in the eyes. If I speak, my love will overflow and I'll confess everything. You have no idea how I want to do that.

"Here, Bella, help yourself…" Mom certainly has perfect timing to interrupt a moment.

We chat quietly during tea. I'm happy to see Mom opening herself to a social life. She never liked to be alone and Bella doesn't disappoint. She's polite and charming and knows how to make small talk without sounding trite or pathetic. I don't listen to what they say, I only watch her. I hope I'm not too obvious.

"I know Edward has worked on a couple of ideas about the drawings." Mom says proudly. I realize the Baudelaire project is their current topic of conversation and nod.

"Yes, I started with _A la passante_ because it's my favorite…"

"Of course, I know that." Bella answers softly. I can't help but be elated. She remembered.

"Honey, you should show your teacher what you already did while I'm cleaning this." Mom almost pushes us out of the way.

"Esme, do you want any help?" Bella sounds stressed.

"Don't be ridiculous…" Mom huffs. "Go and work, young ones!"

She follows me to my room where the drawings are. I feel my heart pumping so hard it's about to leap out of my chest.

Bella is pale and seems very nervous. I try to diffuse the tension when I open my bedroom door.

"This is where the magic happens!"

I'm pretty sure I hear her mutter "I'm sure." But it can't be what she said, can it?

She looks around the room with a secret smile on her lips. Not knowing what else to say, I shakily hand her my sketches. She barely looks at them before placing them back on my desk.

"How do you feel? I'm really sorry about your father." She looks at me almost tenderly, her eyes imploring for something.

"I'm …what I'm supposed to be I guess." I feel so lame, like I can't express what I felt the day of the accident.

"Yes, everybody reacts in a different way I suppose." She's so adorable here, in my bedroom, she belongs here so much that I forget all my fears and ask the question that's been burning my lips.

"What did you want to say before Mom interrupted? You said actually…" My eyes are hot on her, I want to know her secrets. She blushes again and shakes her head. Now I really want to know.

"Come on, Miss Swan!" I almost whine. How embarrassing!

"You want to know, don't you?" Her voice is barely audible.

"I do, yes. Tell me or you won't see the other sketches…" I try to joke. She doesn't look amused and I feel bad. Until she raises her eyes to mine and in the huskiest voice, she says:

"Actually…I liked it."

**Dun dun dun…Please review and you'll know what happens faster ;)!**

**XO Steph**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Edward and his predator eyes are mine and yours if you review ****. Enjoy!**

I felt very small. In every sense of the word. Edward seemed to tower above me he was so tall. I felt small like a little girl caught her hand in the cookie jar. I also felt small and petty for not noticing that something was wrong with Edward. I should have seen his pain and put my selfish lust and feelings aside. Mostly I felt like the smallest and vilest creature for blurting those words to him. "I liked it."

What was I thinking? He was going to freak out on me and he would have every right to do so. I kept my eyes tightly shut and waited for him to expel me from his room and ask to be transferred to Mr. Berger's class. The silence was frightening. The only thing I could hear was his breathing and I was probably imagining it but it sounded pretty heavy. I couldn't help it: I had to know so I opened my eyes and decided to look at him. It would be just another nail in my coffin, I was dead anyway.

What I saw almost tore a whimper out of me. Edward was staring at me, his eyes penetrating my soul and heart like no one before. His mouth was open, his shock obvious and painfully showing on his gorgeous face. My imagination hadn't played tricks on me, he was having trouble breathing and for a fleeting moment, I expected him to have a panic attack. I had to do something.

"Edward…" I murmured, my voice almost breaking down and shaking violently, like the rest of me. I waited for him to call his mother but what he did, I never saw coming.

As soon as his name fell from my lips, Edward groaned and started walking towards me. Slowly, like a lion stalking his prey, his eyes dark but still vividly green. His nostrils were flaring and his jaw slacked. Before I knew what was happening, my back was against the wall near his desk and his arms caged me, his two hands on both sides of my head.

"What did you just say?" he asked very slowly, his voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…I have to…" I pitifully stuttered. My brain had no control when I was near him, neither did my body. The latter started reacting to his proximity even more than before. His smell, this wonderful musky scent made my skin tingle and my heart race almost painfully, pounding against my ribs.

"What did you just say, Miss Swan?" he repeated, his eyes never leaving mine except for the occasional slip to my lips.

"You must think I'm a horrible person…I wasn't thinking…" My voice wavered and my eyes filled with tears.

"Bella…" he whispered. "Look at me, please." I couldn't deny him.

"What did you just say, Bella?" He asked his voice tender. I decided then and there I would tell him whatever he wanted to hear and for now, I had to be honest.

"I said…" I swallowed. "I liked it." My fate was sealed.

Edward's eyes softened and his right hand cupped my jaw in the sweetest caress. I was in a dangerous situation but even then, I thought I had never been touched that way before. Lost in my mind, I didn't see his face coming closer to mine until I felt his divine breath on my skin. I opened my eyes again and before I had time to blink, his lips were on mine.

Warmth and desire flooded me like a wave. I didn't react right away and let him take his time. He kissed me softly, little pecks on my upper lip, then my bottom one, a detour to my cheek and back again. I felt him tremble, from desire or fear I wasn't sure but I decided to enjoy the feeling while I could. So, I kissed him back, just as sweetly, like a butterfly landing on his sinful mouth. I couldn't resist and kissed his neck as well, eliciting a deep moan I felt from my scalp to my toes.

He became bolder and his kisses got wetter and more forceful. He took my lips between his and sucked, nipped my earlobe in such a sensual gesture I almost came from it alone. I got braver and deepened my kisses, finally slipping my tongue in his mouth in a timid attempt. I was sure he would push me away then but he didn't. He pulled me to him with both his arms and gave me his tongue. I could have cried from the pleasure. I started kissing him hungrily, decided to engrave this moment in my memory. I would take all I could for as long as he allowed me.

And allowed me, he did. He responded with fervor and his moans and grunts triggered such a lust in me I thought I'd faint for a second. To avoid from falling, I gripped both his shoulders with my hands and continued kissing him. It felt I was out of my body and yet, I felt, smelled everything. I was delirious with happiness, I was…

"Edward, Miss Swan? Are you finished? I was thinking I'd prepare something for dinner!" Esme's voice reached through our mist of desire.

It was like a cold shower. I tore myself from his lips and at that second, the magnitude of what we had just done knocked me like a ton of bricks. I gasped and put my hands over my mouth, where his mouth had just left an eternal print.

His eyes were so sad at that moment I almost caved and embraced him again. But I couldn't. I escaped the sweet prison of his arms and escaped the room as fast as I could. I was used to running away.

I tried to compose myself and plastered a fake smile on my face.

"Ah Bella, here you are! Do you want to stay for dinner dear? Where's Edward?" she asked smiling.

"Hmm, sorry Esme I wish I could but I have plans." I realized then that I had indeed plans. I had stupidly trapped myself into going out with James. "Edward is still working on his drawings." I lied smoothly.

"Ah, that boy is gifted, I don't know where he got that from." _He's gifted alright._ I shook my head at myself and opted for a swift retreat.

"I'm sorry, Esme. I have to get going but thank you again, it was very nice of you to have me."

"Well, dear it was great to see you as well. Hope you enjoyed yourself." I bit my whimper back in my mouth. I certainly had enjoyed myself. And it was so much more than that.

I don't know how I came back home. I was on auto-pilot, my body remembering how to walk and to drive between vivid flashes of Edward's kisses.

When I collapsed on the couch, I couldn't contain my tears anymore. They were mixed with laughter as I was reminded of my recent euphoria. What was I going to do? I was in lust and in love with my 17-year-old student. And he wanted me, maybe as much as I wanted him. I had to do something to stop that madness. But what could I do? I felt helpless.

My phone bleeped with a text message. "Can't wait, beautiful! See you in a half hour XOXO James"

I had my answer.

**Bites nails nervously. What did you think? Let me know…XO Steph**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Twilight isn't mine but I wish I owned Edward's heart and could help him repair it. Thank you for your reviews last chapter, I was touched and amused by your reactions. Bella was suddenly the target of many attacks and Edward the subject of everyone's affection…and more ;). Brace yourself, the heartache is not over…**

«I liked it. ». Who would have thought three little words would shatter my world as I knew it? Until I heard them, murmured anxiously, her frightened eyes ready to deny them at any moment, I was a boy. In love, but a boy and too afraid to even try to act on my feelings. Everything changed.

Not to be over dramatic or anything but she had freed me when saying them. I was in prison, the jail of my inhibitions keeping me from living. But then I knew, I KNEW I had to be the one to do something. Bella was clearly ashamed and astounded by the revelation she just made. I was in shock but started processing her words. She liked it, meaning she liked feeling my dick under her, meaning she probably wanted me. I wasn't delusional enough to think she loved me but maybe, MAYBE, she wanted me.

So, what was I going to do? Stand here like an idiot, wait until she left me to my loneliness again? No. But I had to be sure. So I did something I never envisioned myself doing. I caged her in my arms and forced her to tell me the truth. And she did, she repeated she liked it.

I may have looked like a self-assured man when I did that but trust me, I've never been more nervous in my life. What if she rejected me, what would I do then? My fear evaporated when she looked in my eyes and I saw she was about to cry. My heart broke then and I was possessed by the desire to comfort her, warm her. So I did. I kissed her and neither of us was cold anymore. Actually, it was so hot in there you could bake eggs.

When Bella slipped her delicious tongue in my mouth, I almost blew my load, right there. After a much needed picturing of Emmett in Mom's flowery dress, I managed to keep minimum control and pulled Bella into my desperate arms. Holding her like I dreamed of, feeling every curve I could reach was almost better than kissing her. I had practically no experience, except for Jenny Watson in ninth grade whose retainer had been a big turn off. Still, it came naturally when I was with Bella. I kissed, sucked and licked and it was never weird or sloppy. She seemed to think so too because she kept whimpering and moaning softly, echoing my own primal noises. It was the most incredible experience of my life and my elation was palpable in my frantic movements. Her creamy neck was calling me and I was about to pay homage to it when Esme called, asking if we were done.

I felt Bella stiffen and her whole body took a defensive stance before she flew out of my room. She had not let me any time to talk, to tell her I loved her, anything to keep her with me. She ran down the stairs and through the open door, I could hear her rushed excuses of having plans and her hasty exit.

I had a crazy urge to run after her but even in my just kissed, euphoric state, I was wise enough to repress it. Mom would have flipped and we certainly didn't need that. Bella would have completely panicked and our neighbors would have gotten a good show. I sat on my bed and sighed deeply. Bella's reaction was not a good sign for the future. She had literally run away from me. Was she disgusted, or simply shocked by what she had just done? I couldn't decipher her reaction. I needed to talk to her, as soon as I could, but I needed a plan that didn't sound too suspicious.

I came down for dinner, hopefully calmer and with a serene face. I relished those quiet moments with my family but I could feel my whole body vibrating. I needed to see Bella, now. I told Mom about a buddy who asked me to come and play video games and she didn't even blink. A few weeks ago, she would have asked for his parents' number and checked with them if it was ok. I could see Emmett observing me though. He had a strange look on his face, like he knew something I didn't.

I left and went straight to chief Swan's place. I had deduced she lived there but maybe I was wrong. From where I was on the other side of the street, I was comforted to see her car in front of the house. There was light on the first floor, probably in someone's bedroom, maybe hers. It made my heart beat faster. I was very nervous. I didn't even know what I would say to her or if I could even talk to her. If her father was in the house, it could be very awkward. The door looked like an enormous giant ready to devour me if I dared approach.

I didn't have the time to wallow in my misery for too long though. A black Jeep came to a stop next to Bella's car. I watched with dread as my Gym teacher, Mr. Grant, walked to Bella's door without any hesitation and knocked twice, a smug smile on his face.

What was he doing here? Maybe he was a friend of hers, I reasoned with myself. _Yeah, Cullen, a friend dressed to kill and with a bouquet of red roses in his hands. _She opened the door and my heart was in my throat. I couldn't see her very clearly but it appeared she was wearing a nice dress, different from the one she had earlier. More provocative and sexier. But again, she could have worn a potato sack and I would have found her sexy.

She let James in, a weird smile on her face. What I was afraid of, them going on a date, happened because, a few minutes later, they went out together and climbed into Mr. Grant's car. As to make my misery more complete, he softly kissed her hand and she let him. She let him touch her like that, an intimate gesture. I was such an idiot for thinking I had a chance with her. They left shortly after and that's when I collapsed on the wheel. Big, deep sobs shook my entire body and I realized then that this awful night had released all the pain and anguish from the last couple of weeks. I cried for my dad, for my mom and my brother, for myself and my stupidity.

I don't know how long I stayed there but it was probably a long time since almost all the lit houses I had seen before were now dark, their occupants certainly asleep. With a resigned sigh, I was about to start the car and go home when Mr. Grant's Jeep came back. _Great, you should stay for the goodnight kiss._ I was a masochist apparently, I couldn't move. If she kissed him, I would know she'd played me and seen me as a kid, nothing more.

They both came out of the car. I braced myself for the inevitable broken heart I would have to live with and nurse by myself. I was relieved because they didn't kiss but Mr. Grant softly caressed her jaw and she smiled at him. Not much better really. _Welcome to reality, Cullen. _

He left and Bella went back into the house. I was glued to my wheel and didn't know what to do. When I saw her get on her terrace with a cup, I almost lost it and ran to her. But then, I remembered what happened. How she had lost it this afternoon, how she had practically pushed me from her. It was clear she didn't want me.

I started the car and because fate hated me, she saw me instantly. I guess she recognized the Volvo because she abruptly got up from her chair and started coming towards me. I could barely make out her face but she looked frantic and started calling my name. She probably was wondering what I was doing there and panicking. I bolted out of there, the tires screeching on the road. At least, my exit was spectacular.

**Ok, don't kill the author or you won't know what happens next ;). Just remember, they didn't kiss…Have faith, dear readers and as always, let me know what you think. Next chapter, probably Wednesday, in ****BPOV.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I own Edward's shaking arm. Thanks for everybody reviewing and reading my story! Thanks to everyone who put it in their favorites or alerts, please share your thoughts with me, reviews are the main reason I write, it's like my personal brand of heroine ;)!**

After changing from my serious dress into my date night outfit, I feel a pang of expected remorse and guilt. I know it's ridiculous and completely crazy to feel this way about a student but I can't help it. He should mean nothing to me, be one among the others but that, he isn't. He's the light of the room when he's there, the burning and shining point of my existence.

After that kiss, the heat has turned into a raging fire, both in my heart and in my body. I feel myself get wet just thinking about his tongue and the way it rolled with mine, or the way he held me so ferociously against him. Still, I know what I did was wrong and falls completely on my shoulders. Even if Edward played a part, and God know he played it well, it was my only responsability. I never should have said what I said, never should have allowed myself to fall for him.

Yes, I've fallen. I'm so in love with the boy it hurts me, physically. It's a rare occurrence for me. I'm the kind of girl who always acts according to what her head tells her, not her feelings. It's another proof that he has messed up with my life. Not voluntarily of course, but I almost resent him for it.

The firm knocking on my door interrupts my inner thoughts. Sighing and suddenly not so resolved to forget Edward, I walk down the stairs and prepare myself for a long night. What was I thinking when I agreed to go out with James? As if it could help me not to think about Edward. My stupidity never ceases to amaze me these days. In spite of that, it will be good for me to go out and think about something else, talk with someone else. When you work with teenagers, it's sometimes difficult not to lose contact with the world of adults, not to be drowned in the kids' drama and stories. So, it's good that I try. Alice will be so proud.

James is surprisingly handsome and dressed up. In a very nice black shirt and grey pants, he is very different from his usual sweat suit at work. He smiles widely, detailing my burgundy dress with hungry eyes. I feel instantly uncomfortable and embarrassed. How am I going to get out of this one? I feel even worse when he hands me a bouquet of roses.

He takes me to a quaint little Italian restaurant in Port Angeles, and I'm surprised by his choice. I would have imagined a pretentious place, aimed to impress. The conversation is quite pleasant as well and soothes my bruised heart a little. Still, I can't help myself from imagining Edward and me at this same table, lost in each other's eyes and holding hands.

James is not the idiot I always imagined him to be. He's actually pretty smart and funny. I think he understands that I'm never going to fall for him or even surrender to his advances. The way I hold myself is a clear message to him but he doesn't seem to mind. He tells me about his life and asks about mine. He looks genuinely interested in me and I start to think he may just be lonely, like me.

I also start to envision him as a potential friend, and not as a predator any more.

Not that I'm trying very hard but Edward is in my thoughts all evening. When James gets me home after a late drink, I can almost feel his presence. It's very strange but it's like he's next to me. James confirms his new status of friend when he refrains from kissing me and caresses my jaw. It doesn't feel sexual, it's just tender and careful. I appreciate the intention and smile at him. He's a nice guy, how surprising.

We're in the first days of March and it's a warm night. Spring is not far, I can feel it. I decide to treat myself with a cup of tea on the deck and sit in the cozy chair, sighing softly. This night hasn't been bad but I still have to face the consequences of my actions. I have to be smart and collected. I can't let my stupid emotions to rule my life anymore. I must focus myself on the project and not on Edward anymore. I nod to myself, comforted that I'm making the right choice.

At this exact moment, a car on the other side of the street violently starts, startling me. I'm tempted to shake my head at the irresponsible driver until I see it more clearly in the streetlight. It's a Volvo. My heart starts pounding and all my wise decisions fly away and desert me. I go to where the car is and sure, I can see Edward at the wheel, his beautiful face not very visible but apparently devastated. I want to cry and fall into his arms. I feel so guilty and frantic. Is he ever going to forgive me?

He has seen me with James, maybe from the beginning. I start calling his name in a desperate attempt to keep him from going, from leaving me. He does though, in a screeching racket.

My night is sleepless. I toss and turn trying to find rest but it keeps eluding me. "Serves you right!" my heart screams and for once, my head has nothing to say. I finally get up at six in the morning and find a note from Charlie, saying he went fishing with his buddy Harry Clearwater and won't be home until tonight. It adds to my distress, as I won't be able to talk to him and distract myself.

So I clean the house from the attic to the garage and put all my energy in the meaningless task. I grade some assignments during the afternoon and plan all my lessons for next week. Around 4 o'clock, there's nothing else to do and I feel restless. After watching a little TV, I decide I need some motherly loving. I call Renée.

She immediately knows something's off. Maybe the tone of my voice betrayed me.

"What's wrong baby? Tell me." She demands sweetly.

"Nothing…" I lie. "Just tired, had a lot of work to do." I sound ridiculous, even to my own ears.

"Bella, honey. I know there's something you're not telling me." Before I can protest, she adds "It's alright, I understand. But, don't let it fester, baby. Talk to someone you trust, even if it's not me, just talk about it. You'll feel better." After a few more soothing words, we hang up.

She's right. I need to tell someone about my situation or I'm going to go crazy, alone at home. Who do I trust enough, who will understand and not judge me? Easy choice. After a little pep talk, I drive to Café Orwell.

Heidi is at behind the bar, washing some cups. There's a customer, alone, at the back of the café and he doesn't seem to be from around here. Heidi looks up and smiles when she sees me. I'm overwhelmed with remorse for the way I treated her the other day. After a few apologies and her enquiry about my pale face, I spill my guts to her. I tell her about my feelings, my desire and most importantly, the kiss. I expect her to judge me, to gasp and throw me out of there but she does no such thing. She listens, nods her head and whispers "dear, dear" every time I start crying, which is a lot.

I hear the entrance bell ring and see Heidi's face fall. She gasps this time and my curiosity wins. I turn around and see none other than my love. He looks shocked and angry to see me. He starts to move back and I know I have to react and do something but I can't, I'm transfixed. Fortunately, my friend has the reflex to nudge me and I move, finally. I run to him actually and snatch his arm before he can leave. I feel it shaking beneath my touch. I'm sure I'm in no better condition.

His shining eyes and trembling breath convince me. My voice comes out scratchy and tender.

"Don't leave please…We need to talk."

**It was hard chapter to write, this one. I could feel Bella's pain, let me tell you!**

**So James was not such a bad guy, see? If there's something I've learned from my job is never to judge from appearances, you may be surprised…XO Steph**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Yes, an early update because Edward kept nudging me. He had things to say, that one, so chatty! Hope you like it, enjoy and review!**

Last night, for the first time, I almost hated Bella Swan. After the Mr. Grant's debacle, I drove aimlessly for almost two hours, losing myself on the deserted roads. Losing myself in more ways than one because, at one point, I didn't know where I was anymore. Finally back on a familiar road, I went back home, exhausted and disenchanted about everything.

To add to my already heavy mood, I found my very worried and slightly angry mother in the kitchen. After apologizing profusely and being the usual good boy she always knew, I finally was able to join my room and collapse on my bed. I fell asleep almost immediately but my dreams, traitors that they were, were filled with Bella's scent, eyes and laughter. At one point, I relived our kiss with such clarity and realism it actually woke me up. I decided to get up, since it was already nine in the morning.

Emmett was alone in the kitchen, quietly drinking his coffee. Mom had left a note, saying she had left for her morning run. I was glad she had taken to running again, since it was good for her health and helped her sleep. I sat next to my brother on one of the bar stools with my own cup and cereals.

"Edward, where were you last night? Mom was so worried, bro. It's so not like you to do things like that…" He finished, watching me curiously.

I sighed and decided that I could tell him the partial truth. "I drove for a while, I needed to think and driving helps me do that." He didn't look convinced.

"The driving part, I understand but where were you really? I know you didn't make any buddies yet." I was busted and I knew it. "Mom may be completely out of it right now, but I see you Edward. I know something's going on with you."

"You're too bright for your own good, you know that?" I asked with a resigned smile.

"Yes, I know." He shrugged and put his hand on my shoulder, a serious expression on his face. I braced myself for the next question.

"Would it have to do with that hottie teacher of yours?" he asked very softly, as if afraid of the answer. "You like her don't you?"

I snorted, I couldn't help it. Like was the last word I would have used to describe my feelings for Bella.

"Not exactly." I answered in what I hoped was a detached tone.

"More than like, huh? I knew it…" He sighed and shook his head. "Bro, you are in a dead end situation. You have to get out of it."

I scoffed. "It isn't easy to do. You act wise and all but you don't know how I feel!" My voice had progressively raised and I almost yelled the last word.

"Now I know, I think." He smiled sadly. "What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea …" I said, tugging at my hair violently, like I always did when I needed to resolve something.

"The way I see it, you have a choice to make. One, you forget about her, understand that she's a teacher and totally out of your league and unattainable. You find yourself a girl at school and finally get laid…" he finished with a malicious smile.

"Emmett!" I growled. "Get to the point because I don't want to listen to my not even sixteen-year-old brother talking to me about getting laid."

"Alright, so impatient! Well, the second solution would be to talk to Miss Sexy Teach' and convince her that you're her man."

At that, I burst out laughing, a bitter laugh that didn't amuse Emmett. "What, it could happen!"

"Right…" I murmured, downhearted.

"Bro, I saw her at the supermarket. She looked at you like you were an oasis in the desert. Pretty much the same way you look at her, actually."

"Really?" I couldn't help but ask. "You know what? Forget it, it's a dead end like you said. I should forget about it."

I decided that a change of topic was in order. "What about you and Rosalie?" I asked, focusing the spotlight on him.

"She's…uumm…really something else." He stuttered. He never stuttered about a girl before.

"How do you feel about her?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"I don't know…She doesn't know I exist. I tried to talk to her but she didn't even stop and listen to me." He finished, defeated.

"Do you mean that Emmett Cullen, the almighty ladies' man, the guy who fears no girl, finally met his match?" I asked, teasing him.

"It's not funny!" He yelled.

"Ok, ok, man I'm sorry…Calm down, will you?"

"What am I going to do, Edward? I want to be with her." His voice was sad and desperate.

"Maybe, try and make her jealous, it might work…" I suggested.

"Maybe…You should try too with Miss Swan that if she doesn't listen to you." He shot me a conniving look. I smiled and bumped his fist.

"We'll see…" After sharing his thoughts about Rosalie for a few more minutes, Emmett went to play basketball with some of his team members and I was left to my own devices.

Mom went back an hour later and I apologized to her again. She waved her hand as if it was nothing but I knew she appreciated it.

I couldn't stay in the house for too long. I needed to go out before I went crazy. So, after working on my various assignments, I decided to go back to Café Orwell for a well-deserved coffee. I might have been a little masochistic to go back there but I needed this link with Bella, as tenuous as it might be.

I couldn't foresee what would happen there. I entered the café totally oblivious but it didn't last long. In front of me stood a very embarrassed looking Heidi and my beautiful astounded teacher.

I decided then and there that I wouldn't be abused anymore. I wanted to get out of there, fast. All my good resolutions went to the window when Bella followed me outside, her breathing labored and her arm grasping mine tightly.

"Don't leave…please. We need to talk." Her tone was almost begging. I caved immediately, simply because I was the biggest idiot and couldn't resist her. I followed her back inside.

The client of the café was paying as we went back and quickly exited the place. We were alone with Heidi and she looked like she was desperate for something to do.

"Well, it seems like my presence in this fine establishment is not required right now. There's a fresh pot of coffee right here, guys. Help yourself, I'll be…somewhere." And before our stunned eyes, she practically ran away from her own café. Now, it was just the two of us.

Bella was silently staring at me and I stared back. She didn't look like she slept at all last night. Dark circles under her eyes betrayed her lack of rest. Could this have to do with me? I started to hope, against all reason that she spent the night thinking about what happened. That maybe she wasn't indifferent to me.

She looked as beautiful as ever, her beautiful face a little pale and her rosy lips mesmerizing me and stealing my self-control. She looked at me with an almost hungry look on her face and I lost it. I decided that talking could wait. She apparently had come to the same conclusion because she backed me up against the counter and kissed me lightly, as if she was afraid of my reaction.

She shouldn't have worried. I kissed her lips reverently as if I was tasting a delicious fruit. She became ravenous and attacked me again, like the first time. She devoured my mouth with passion and I heard her moaning loudly. In the middle of my lusty haze, I turned us around and gave back with all I had. I wanted her to feel what she was doing to me so I pressed myself against her entirely. My very hard and happy dick met her center and even through the clothes, I could feel how hot she was. I almost lost my mind then and from the needy whimper she emitted, she was right there with me.

Soon, we were grinding against each other and grunting. My noises were lost in hers. I felt good, oh so good but my brain, the annoying little shit, kept repeating me that something was wrong. Finally, _finally_ and after an inhuman effort, I detached my burning lips from her sinful mouth and whispered in her ear.

"Stop now or I'll take you right here."

I meant that.

**Yes, bad evil cliffe again, he he…Don't worry, you won't have to wait for too long. Thank you to everyone sticking with me through our lovers' torturous ways. Thank you for your kind reviews, especially Pattypattz who continuously supports me and Trixiepatz, whose reviews I can't answer but appreciate all the same. XO, Steph**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: The most difficult chapter I've ever written so far…God, it was torture! If only Edward or Rob (not picky here ;)!) were here to hold my hand. But they're not, as I don't own Twilight. Enjoy and don't hate me…**

Since the first time I've seen him, I've been a lot of things. Spellbound, disgusted with myself, obsessed, whatever word you want to use to describe my feelings for him. Now, I'm just one thing, undeniably and irrevocably wet.

Imagine the guy you fantasize and dream about constantly, the one you want more than anything else in the world, utter those perfect words, hot breath in your ear and his hands roaming the most sensitive parts of your body.

"Stop now or I'll take you right here." He wanted me dead, that's the only explanation for it. How I could run away from him yesterday, I'll never know. As I try and catch my breath, I look at him and worship the contours of his face, so close to mine. He is so beautiful, an angel and yet devilish in a way. His sharp jaw is made of perfection as is his large and pure forehead.

Yet, if I had to choose, I'd choose his mouth. It's sinful, dominant and compliant at the same time. He's the first man to turn me into a quivering mess just by kissing me. He's not experienced but he's so eager and passionate it doesn't matter. I feel like a ragdoll, my energy and brain sucked from my body by the force of our kiss.

He looks at me, the hunger still in his eyes and in the way he holds me. I sense that he needs an explanation about everything that is happening and I have to talk to him. So, I pull away, lightly and tenderly and answer him.

"It can't happen…" My voice is shaky, as is my body. Oh, how I wish it could happen. I'd let him take me, right here on the counter, right here on the floor. I don't care about being romantic, or soft, or sweet. I want him. My desire is written all over my face and he can see it.

"I know…" He trembles too and doesn't stop caressing my back, my shoulders. I have to be strong if I want to explain. I escape him, sliding under his arm. I don't break the connection, though. I take his hand and pull him to the closest table. He sits with a resigned huff and stares expectantly at me. My mouth opens then closes and then, there it is, my savior.

"Do you want some coffee, there's a fresh pot?" If he says no, I'm going to start crying. I need a semblance of normalcy in all this craziness.

"Yes, I'd love some." His smile says he understands and that he needs a raft too, because he's drowning, like me.

I pour the coffee, take our cups with sugar to the table and to him. His face is unreadable, but his posture is stiff. He looks like he's bracing for what's coming next.

"Edward, you have to let me talk. I need to tell you…so many things. If you interrupt me, I won't be able to say them again. Do you agree?" I finish timidly, thinking that my needs and demands are going to drive him away.

"Yes, talk and then, it will be my turn." He is almost defiant, like he wants to prove a point. What he doesn't know is that I love him so much that if he talked first, I'd surrender to him completely. Hell, I'd drag him to the counter again. Unless he wants to stop…

"Edward…" I interrupt my inner ramblings and take a deep breath. "When I met you, you blew me away. I looked at you and …I don't know, something clicked. I thought you were the smartest and…and…th-the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. Then, I learned to know you, and…oh god, you were as beautiful inside as outside. I started feeling things I thought I'd never find. You were…you are different from other men. Yet, you're a boy."

I'm interrupted by a soft sound. I look at him and he's crying. Tears are rolling on his cheeks and still, he's smiling. Like I gave him the world. I force myself to continue and not huddle in his arms.

"We kissed and everything changed. I realized that maybe, my feelings weren't one-sided. I wanted you so much back then…I want you right now. But…" My face falls and so does his.

"It can never happen between us Edward, you know that. We're in an unfair situation but we have no choice. I'm your teacher, you're my student. You're seventeen years old. It's plain impossible and wrong. I have to be the strong one, here because I…I don't want to do this but I have to. We have to work together but we can never be together." I realize I'm crying as well and I think _good __ He has to know that it hurts you, that you don't have a heart of steal._

He clears his throat. His face is stern and vulnerable, his apparent severity denied by the tenderness of his eyes. They show everything, they truly are the mirror of his soul. What a beautiful soul he has.

"Ok, I'm going to talk now if you don't mind. What you said just now…really upset me and I need to get things off my chest." He sighs and struggles to keep his composure. I understand, it was hard for me as well.

"When I met you, my life had no meaning. I had just lost my dad, moved to a strange place. I had no …real reason for living. I saw you that day, a couple weeks ago and I knew. I had met the one person that could give my life meaning. You helped me cope with my dad's death, even though you didn't know it. You believed in me, believed that we could work together as partners and equals. I was proud of that, I am proud of that still." His façade cracks a little and he puts his face in his hands, pulling his hair. Oh, how I want to do that for him, when I'm under him.

"You won me, from the first second. I fell for you, completely. You made me hard that first day, you know that? And every time I see you, smell you, or touch you, I'm hard Bella." I'm goo, on the floor, stunned from his crude words. He means them, and he wants to provoke me too. God, it works, I'm so wet under his gaze, hypnotized.

"Bella, my age won't be a problem for long. I'll be 18 on May 13th, in a couple of months. I'll be…legal, right? No jail bait anymore. Please, baby, please consider us, consider me…" He's begging me and breaking my heart. If he knew how much I want this, how much I don't let myself fall into his waiting arms.

"We still can't. You are my student and we have to work together. And I'm so much older than you…It could never work, with your mother and the gossip…" I'm scum, I'm a coward.

"We can do the work, Bella and still be together. No one will know, baby, no one I swear…" His voice is like honey, soothing my wounds. I'm his baby.

"It's impossible." I state firmly, even though I want to cry.

"Is it about Mr. Grant? You're dating him, aren't you? I saw you last night!" He's yelling now, his frustration getting the better of him.

"No, I'm not dating him, I promise. I wanted to forget about the …k-kiss in your room, about you. But I couldn't. It doesn't change anything though, nothing more can happen between us Edward. I'll see you in school and to work on our presentation, but that's it." I see him, his fists are closed and silent tears are rolling on his face.

"Fine, if that's how you want it. There's nothing more to say."

He stands up, slowly, watching me the whole time and leaves, walking backwards. The bell rings when the door closes on him.

**Author standing stoically, waiting for tomatoes to fly at her…Keep the faith, people keep the faith…Next chapter, probably Wednesday! XO Steph**


	20. Chapter 20

**Short chapter (well shorter than usual!) but I had very little time to write this week and I didn't want to make you wait any longer…Edward still belongs to the other Steph. **

Where to go, what to do? I just wasn't able to think properly. My life was in ruins because I had been an idiot. Believing for a minute, a second that my beautiful and experienced teacher could fall in love with me and risk everything for me was probably the most stupid thing I'd ever done in my life. I wanted to laugh at myself and cry over my lack of judgement. The problem was that, even knowing what I knew now, I still loved her.

She wanted me, thought I was beautiful and probably pitied me but that was it. I was a fantasy to her, something forbidden hence attractive. Every bone in my body, every part of me sang her name but to her, being with me "was impossible". It was on this gloomy thought that I parked the car in front of our house. I had robotically made my way back home.

When I entered the living room, I was surprised to see three people I didn't know. Two of them were vaguely familiar though. They seemed about my age, so I had probably seen them at school. The third one was having coffee and quietly chatting with my mom.

"Ah Edward, here you are! Where were you dear?" Mom asked, looking worried.

"Here and there, Mom, don't worry. I just needed to be alone for a while." She nodded and introduced me.

"Dr. Carlisle Masen, this is my older son, Edward." The man, about forty-five, I'd say, rose from the couch and held his hand for me to shake. Firm and sure of himself, I liked that.

"Edward, nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you." He smiled warmly. I had to clear it with Mom but I was almost sure he was the therapist she had told me about, who had given her the sleepy pills and brought her back to almost normalcy.

"Likewise, Dr. Masen." I answered politely even though I couldn't help wondering what he was doing here.

"And I'm sure you remember Ben Cheney and Angela Weber, darling, they're in your class." So that's why I knew their faces. I felt kind of embarrassed. I smiled as convincingly as I could and shook Ben's hand. Angela grinned knowingly. She knew I couldn't remember them.

"Hi Edward! Ben played basketball with Emmett earlier and he invited us here after. I hope that's okay." She said sweetly.

"Yes, sure. Ben, I didn't know you were on Emmett's team." He laughed.

"Oh no, I'm not. Have you seen me? I could never be tall enough! I'm just a big fan of basketball and I've happened to see the team play today so I joined them for a game. I know one or two guys, including Emmett." He explained.

That made sense. Ben was a skinny guy who barely reached my shoulders. His girlfriend was actually taller than him.

"Where is Emmett, anyway?" I asked curiously.

"I'm right here." He announced, walking back into the room, cell phone in hand. He looked a little flush and proud of himself. Rosalie related, I thought.

"So guys, wanna play video games in my room?" He asked, watching me intently.

"Sure, what do you say Ang?"

"I love video games!" she gushed, making Ben laugh.

"Edward?"

"I'm not sure Emmett…" I tried but he was having none of it.

"Yes, you're sure, come on." He snapped, almost pulling me behind him.

"Alright, alright! Calm down…" I turned towards Mom who waved us off and went back to her conversation with Dr. Masen. Why was this guy here again?

Once in Emmett's room, we played for a while and I actually enjoyed myself. It felt good to forget about the Bella's disaster for a few hours. I'd get back to reality soon enough.

"So Edward…" Angela interrupted my thoughts. "Emmett told us that you were having girl problems." Apparently, I was getting back to reality sooner than expected. I glared at Emmett.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I stuttered.

"Emmett told us you were in love with Miss Swan." Ben shrugged, as if it was perfectly normal.

"Oh my God, Emmett, what the fuck were you thinking?" I yelled. He had the decency to look sheepish.

"Well, I thought that we were both kind of lost! We needed another perspective…" He mumbled.

"We?" I was lost for sure.

"Well, you with Miss Swan and me with Rosalie, where are we? Nowhere, bro, nowhere!" He cried out.

"Yes, we're not the best with relationships but what were you thinking talking about MY situation with people I don't even know! Sorry guys." I amended.

"That's ok. Look Edward, we don't want to pry and we don't judge who you fall in love with. But there's something you can do to make her react and it would work for Emmett too." Angela smiled.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.

"We know a couple of nice girls. They're actually together, a couple but no one knows about them so they'd agree to act as your girlfriends." Ben said, his expression perfectly relaxed.

"Our girlfriends?"

"If there is one thing someone in love but denying it can't stand, it's to see the one they love all coupley with someone else." Angela explained.

"I already called my girl…" Emmett added, looking all smug. That's why he wasn't in the room when I arrived.

"Her name is Irina. She looks like a model actually. Very very beautiful…" Ben dreamed aloud until Angela jabbed him in the ribs.

"Hey! I'm here, you know?" she pouted.

"Sorry baby. I love you, you know that." Ben kissed her, erasing the pout.

"Anyway Edward, your "girl" would be Kate. She's very pretty as well and ready to act her part too." Angela said. "So, what do you think?"

"I don't know, guys. My situation is nothing like Emmett's. She says it's a question of morals, that it's impossible. She's probably right, don't you think?" I asked unsure.

"Look Edward. You're in an unusual situation, I give you that. Falling in love with a teacher, much older than you is not the easiest way to experience love for the first time. But, you only fall in love once, maybe twice in your life if you're lucky. When I met Ang, I knew she was the one for me and I didn't hesitate. We were made for each other. What do you feel for her? Is it just lust?" Ben asked.

"I love her, I really do." I whispered. It was weird to aknowledge this in front of them.

"So do something man! You only get one chance and trust me, it'll work." Ben asuured.

"How do you know?"

"Because that's how he got me, he made me jealous and I fell right into the trap." Angela smiled.

"You did, didn't you?" Ben cooed.

"Yes, sweetie, you're irresistible, we know that." She retorted.

"So, Edward, what do you think, man? Here's Kate's number, call her and she'll give you her ideas. She's sneaky this one." Ben laughed.

"Ok, I'll call but I'm not making any promises." I groaned.

"Oh, no, no!" Emmett interjected. "I did it, you have to do it too!"

"Edward, what do you have to lose, really?" Angela asked gently.

"Come on, man do it now." Be insisted.

Sensing I had no chance against those three, I called Kate. A warm voice greeted me.

"Hello? Kate speaking."

"Hi, Kate, it's Edward Cullen. Maybe Angela mentioned me…" I asked cautiously.

"Oh hi! So, Edward, ready to French kiss me tomorrow morning in front of the whole school?"

What did I just get myself into?

**Yes, Edward is desperate, he has to act. Will it work? Give me your thoughts as always.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Another difficult chapter to write, I hope you like it :). Thanks for everyone reading, don't forget to review, I'll send you Edward so you can bite his ear…I own nothing except for a lazy, bad tempered cat.**

My Sunday night was slow and quiet. I spent it with Charlie in front of a football match I pretended to watch for his sake. It was a welcome distraction to the distress I was feeling. I was torn between relief that the situation had finally been cleared between Edward and me, and the despair of seeing him going out of my life like that. A simple goodbye, yet so heartbreaking.

Before going to bed that night, I mechanically checked my phone for any texts and found one from Alice. I couldn't help but smile a little when I read it. "Another week end gone, no :((! Looking forward to next Friday night, just us girls at the club yeah :))! See you tomorrow!" I admit I had totally forgotten about it with the eventful couple of days I had just been through. Knowing Alice and her determination, I had no choice but to go with them. I had said yes and she would never let me hear the end of it if I cancelled on her.

I tossed and turned that night, getting only a couple hours of sleep. Thinking of Edward's kisses, of his broken face when I had made my decision, of his hard eyes when he had gone out of the café was slowly but surely stealing my sanity. I kept repeating myself it was better this way but it didn't make a bit of difference. I woke up exhausted but thankful I wouldn't be seeing Edward today.

After drinking about five cups of coffee, I made my way to work. I was so sleepy I missed the entrance for the teachers' parking area and resigned myself to park among the students' cars. I got out of the truck, feeling very zombie like and started walking towards the school main building. And there, in the middle of a very ordinary parking lot, my heart stopped and broke completely.

Edward was leaning against his car, as beautiful as ever but he wasn't alone. He had his arms around a girl who looked familiar, probably one of my students, and they were kissing. Almost indecently, she tasted his tongue with hers before whispering something in his ear. I didn't even look at the girl, it didn't matter who she was. All I saw was him. His eyes never met mine and that's what hurt me the most. He looked like he could only see her and had forgotten all about me. _Yes, but that's what you wanted, right? He has the right to have a girlfriend._

I didn't stay and torture myself any longer. I almost ran to the building and to the staff room. I couldn't let my tears run freely there either because some of my colleagues were chatting around a cup of coffee. I had to endure listening to stories about "their fabulous week end" and "their wonderful children" when I had none of those. I had let go of my only chance at love.

Class was my salvation. I had to concentrate on my lesson plans, on my students' questions and silly behaviors. Even the most stupid of them I was grateful for, because it kept my mind from the scene I had witnessed this morning. During lunch break, I couldn't help replaying it over and over. I couldn't understand what happened. One day, he confesses his feelings for me and the day after that, he parades his new girlfriend in front of the whole school. It didn't make any sense. Unless…he was with her before and hadn't wanted to show it until now. Maybe he wanted to have a go at me, experience with me and when I said no, he came back to her. That was the only explanation.

I was saved from my torturous thoughts by Alice and James, who came in for lunch and sat with me. We chatted and I felt better. Alice was probably surprised to see me having a normal conversation with James, enjoying it even because she kept raising her eyebrows and frowning in confusion. She didn't say anything though which I appreciated because I certainly didn't feel like explaining my sudden change of attitude towards him.

My afternoon classes passed quickly and brought the same relief as the morning ones. Teaching can be a pain sometimes, most of the time really but there's nothing like a couple of rowdy students to make you forget your worries and pain. Quiet, beautiful students, those ones caused pain. Not consciously, not voluntarily but they did.

Mr. Banner came into my classroom for a little chat at the end of the day and asked me where my project with Edward was headed. I was as evasive as possible and told him I should see Edward the following day in class and talk about it with him. My plan was to actually give a note to Edward about my progress and have him tell me about his.

How could we continue working together? In the same room, alone? No way. I may be a masochist but even I had limits. It would be hard enough seeing him three hours a week in class, hearing him read in his beautiful voice, or talk about his new girlfriend. Her name would probably be Shelley or Tiffany or something like that. I felt like puking just thinking about it.

I was witness to another show from Edward and his slut when I got on the parking lot that afternoon. They were not kissing this time but she had her hands on his delectable butt and kept biting his earlobe while he was smiling like a moron. How could have I misjudged him that way? I thought he was a smart guy, discreet and quiet and here he was, displaying that disgusting show for everyone to see.

I was not in complete denial though. I knew that my strong reaction had everything to do with jealousy and nothing to do with morality. I was an idiot but not a hypocrite. If it was me, I would probably be all over him, showing all the girls that this delicious man was mine and not theirs to touch. I couldn't blame Kelly for that. Yes, another name for the slut touching my love. _Not anymore Bella._

I took sleeping pills that because I couldn't function normally on another night of insomnia. I woke up feeling refreshed but still dreading to see Edward that morning. After seriously considering calling the school to say I was sick, I steeled myself and started my day as usual. I tried to rationalize Edward's importance. After all, I had a classroom full of students. Why should he be different from the others? Maybe I had judged Mike Newton too easily. I snorted because this was a ridiculous thought to even compare them.

I braced myself when the students started filling the class. I kept my face neutral and straightened my strict black jacket. No more fancy clothes when I'd see him, no more inappropriate thoughts. I was a professional for God's sakes.

All rationality left me when I saw Edward and Brenda, or rather Kate Franklin as I knew her, come into the classroom, smiling at each other, hand in hand.

Fuck, they were in the same class.

**Oh, oh****, what's Bella going to do? Theories, thoughts? Gimme, gimme, gimme :)!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Yes, an early chapter because I have more time than anticipated today. Say you love me...in a review ;)! It's Edward's turn to endure Kate the Monster!**

French kiss? French kiss? She is kidding, she has to be kidding.

"Are you kidding?" I ask, completely stunned.

"Do you mean right now, or in general? Because I consider myself a pretty funny person but right now, I'm dead serious." Her voice was wavering a little, as she was about to burst into laughter.

"I can't French kiss you, it's just ridiculous!" I protested. Emmett, Angela and Ben were looking at me with smirks on their faces. I almost growled at them.

"Look, Edward. I understand from what Ben told me that you need to impress that woman, to provoke her in a way that'll make her react. Trust me, what would work on a seventeen-year-old won't work on her." She said, her tone sure and almost patronizing.

"You know who she is?" I asked, my furious eyes on Ben. He shrugged and mouthed a sheepish "sorry".

"Yes, I know and before you get all worried and nervous, your secret's safe with me. I have secrets of my own, you know. I guess Ben told you about my situation?" She sounded almost shy, like I was going to betray her in front of everyone.

"Yes, he did. Look, Kate, I'm not sure about this." I had never felt less sure about anything.

"Edward, I get that. Kissing another person in front of the one I love? Eeww. However, you have to get a reaction out of her. Am I wrong?"

"No, you're not." I reluctantly admitted. "How is it going to work?" I asked, resigned.

"Well, we need to establish our "love" in front of the other students first." I snorted. She had a dry sense of humor that'd probably help in the mess we were about to enter.

"We must kiss and be quite, hmm, provocative about it. So everyone knows Edward Cullen is spoken for." She continued.

"Hence, the French kissing part?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Hence the French kissing part. After that, everyone in the school will know about us in an hour, tops. Including the teachers."

"Yes, but after that? What's going to happen? We can follow her everywhere and start kissing every time she's around, right?" Kate started laughing, loudly.

"Ah, Edward! You must have been really blind to everyone else in the room, buddy. You didn't even realize I was in your French group?" She finally calmed down.

"No, I didn't…hmm, sorry." How dumb was I?

"That's ok, Miss Swan is a hot piece of ass, I understand." She said in an airy voice.

I almost choked on my tongue.

"Kate, I don't want you talking about her like that, you hear me?" I stuttered.

"Ah, like you don't find her hot too! Don't be a hypocrite, please."

"I'm not but I don't want you to call her that, do you understand?" I was furious…and kind of turned on. Bella was really hot…and her ass was very nice as well.

"Whatever, Edward…" Kate sighed, "Come pick me up tomorrow morning, 12 Cedar Street, seven- thirty sharp. And, brace yourself, you're gonna need it." She hung up.

I slowly turned back to the others and they were anxiously waiting for my reaction.

"Well?" Angela and Ben asked in chorus while Emmett raised his hands in question.

"She's going to help me and I'm picking her up tomorrow morning." I finally said, and started pulling my hair. This was going to end in disaster.

"Kate is a strange cookie, but she's loyal and contrary to what you might think, a hopeless romantic. She wants to help you get the girl." Angela commented softly.

"I'll never get her…How could I get her?" I whispered, suddenly disheartened.

"Because she wants you too, bro, I'm sure of that. The way she looked at you, I'm positive she feels the same way you do." Emmett awkwardly patted my shoulder.

Angela and Ben left shortly after and I braced myself for a long evening and an even longer night. I asked Mom about Dr. Masen's visit during dinner and she simply said she had met him during her morning walk and consequently invited him for tea. She seemed a little embarrassed, though and I couldn't help but think there was more to the story than that.

As I suspected, I couldn't get a lot of sleep that night. I was anxious about the next day and how Bella was going to react if she heard about Kate and I. I was also painfully reminded, thanks to Kate's crude remark, of Bella's physical appeal and…well, let's just say I had to take things into my own hands. Three times.

I finally fell asleep around four in the morning and before I knew it, I had to get up and get ready. Emmett told me Angela and Ben would pick me up so Kate and I could discuss our plan of action. I was a little nervous. Ok, a lot nervous.

It turned out she was a very nice girl and we got along well, almost instantly. She put me at ease, told me she understood better than I thought and couldn't wait to be out of Forks to finally live her relationship with Irina in the open. She said her parents were ok with it but she didn't want to be the object of scrutiny, which would undoubtedly happen in such a small town. That made sense.

When we made it out of the car, she squeezed my arm and whispered "Relax, it's time for the show to start."

She had just settled between my legs when she tensed. She pretended to lick my ear but actually informed me that Bella had just parked her car and was on her way to the entrance building. She would see us. Oh my God, time to act.

Kate kissed me, and to her credit, she was very good. I felt very self-conscious and aware that Bella would see me so I kissed her back with as much conviction as I could muster. When we ended it, I raised my eyes to Bella and saw her hurt face, not to mention the way she was running out of there. If it wasn't for Kate restraining me, I would have followed her and begged for her forgiveness. But, no, I had to be strong. Maybe it would turn badly but I had to take a chance.

The second step was much harder than the first one. Certainly, we had to face the gossip and the rumors of our classmates on Monday but I knew I had to see Bella on Tuesday, in class and I didn't dare imagine how I'd feel and how she'd react, seeing Kate and I together.

We entered the class, Kate winking at me and grasping my hand firmly. I saw Bella frown and mutter to herself. I tried to relax but it was really hard. I pretended to nonchalantly chat with my girlfriend before class started but I observed Bella, not being able to get enough of her. She wore a much stricter outfit today but she looked as beautiful as ever.

Class was a nightmare. I had to pretend being the doting boyfriend, and I hurt every time Bella's lips stretched into a hard line. Her eyes were sad and bitter and I couldn't help but think I was the cause of it. She never looked at me, or Kate, not once but she knew. She saw us.

We were about to get out of class and Kate made a show of kissing my neck and grabbing my ass in front of Bella. I wanted to push her away and give up the whole plan but Kate whispered "It's working." in my ear. I understood what she meant when I saw Bella looking at us. Her eyes were on fire.

Before I could understand what was happening, she opened her mouth and harshly spat:

"Mr. Cullen, when you're finished swallowing Miss Franklin, stay for a minute. I need to talk to you."

**Edward is in big trouble, you folks! Ideas, theories? Let me know…Next chapter, in a few days.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Yes, an early update! Bella had things to say :). Thanks for everyone reading, you make my day, especially when I get the little "pong" noise telling me I've got reviews…So, you know what to do. Hope you enjoy! I own nothing but a mean Chai latte.**

I always thought Kate was a stupid name for a girl. So generic and ordinary. Ok, it's a lie! I had never given much thought to the name Kate before today. I never had any reasons to. Now, I want to seize that girl by her stupid golden hair and throw her out of the room. I also want to throw everybody else out of the room and be alone with Edward. I also want to beg him to forget all the nonsense I said before and love me again.

But then, he never said he loved me. It was close enough, though. I gave meaning to his life, that's what he said. You give meaning to someone's life, it means they love you right? Apparently not. It means they move on the next day with a little slut named Kate.

I knew I was being unfair, irrational even. I had never felt this angry and sad before. I had never felt anything that intensely before, period. I was realizing slowly and painfully that this beautiful creature, this wonderful boy, man would never be mine. The worst part was that I had done it, I had pushed him away.

Kate and Edward seem eager to offer me a show of their affections. Well, she is anyway. I can't help but notice he's more guarded and quiet than her. Maybe he's embarrassed that I see him with his new girl. His girl. Not new girl. I was never his.

I'm a patient person but when she starts groping him at the end of class, I lose it and I lash out on him. I can't resolve myself to be cold to her, or speak to her period. I can pretend she doesn't exist that way. After my harsh demand, she finally unglues herself from him and gives me a sheepish smile. She goes out of the room and we're alone.

Edward stares at me. I can't help but swallow. His eyes are so intense and piercing. I'm sure he sees right through me and is laughing at me right now. He doesn't smile though, he just stares and stays mute. The only sign he gives away is the light shaking of his hands holding his books.

"Mr. Cullen, I needed to talk to you about the project." I finally cave.

"So, it's back to Mr. Cullen, now?" He asks, his voice angry and cold.

"Well, we should be formal with each other, don't you think?" I try to remain professional even though I want to kiss him with all I have, more than ever before. _I love you, I was wrong._

"If you say so…" He sighs, his eyes bored. My heart is in my throat. "What did you want to tell me?"

"I wanted to know if you had made any progress. I have worked on a couple of sketches, have you?" During my nights of insomnia, thinking of him, I had been quite inspired.

"Yes, I have actually. I could show them to you on Friday if you want." His voice is softer but still neutral.

"Ok, I'll show you mine and then we can choose the ones we want to associate to the two first poems." Go Bella, cool, collected. Delusional.

"Alright then. Well, Miss Swan…" I flinch and he smiles sadly. "I need to go to class, I'll see you Friday."

He goes out from the room, leaving me breathless and desperate. The message is clear, he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I should be relieved, ready to move on. But I'm not. I want to crawl in bed and cry until I'm empty of tears.

The next couple of days are eventless, boring. They're also a blessing. I can distance myself from him and all this drama. Well, except when I happen to see him in the hall with Kate, smiling at her and holding her hand affectionately. I've never wanted to kill someone, until now.

The worst part is I can't talk to anybody about all this. I have to get over him and I have to endure it all by myself. Alice is perceptive and sees something's wrong with me but I reveal nothing. Instead, I listen to her raving about Miss Rosalie Hale and her bad attitude in her class. The girl sounds just like a delightful treat and Alice, at her wit's end, has asked her father to come to school and talk about her. It seems the girl only lives with him, because her mother died last year.

Alice also reminds me of our girls night Friday, with Kate and Tanya. Great, another Kate to add to the mix. Wonderful. See, I told you it was a stupid, generic name. I'm grateful to Alice, though. One night out should make me feel better.

After class on Friday morning, Edward and I decide to choose "Tu chériras la mer" and "L'invitation au voyage" as our first two poems of Baudelaire to use. We prudently stay away from anything too passionate or sexual. The electricity between us hasn't decreased, not on my side anyway. Especially when he's all sexy and yummy in this black shirt and those tight jeans.

I decide to look pretty tonight. I don't go out a lot and this is also the perfect way to forget about my pathetic life and have fun. Hell, I could even dance with a guy or two if given the chance. After all, I'm perfectly free to do it. I'm not tied to anyone. _Yes, keep telling yourself that. Shut up._

I join the girls at Castaways, a club in Port Angeles around nine. The music is already booming and loud. There are a lot of people, of all ages, including some teenagers who probably had to show fake IDs. I snort because it reminds me of my high school years. I just hope I won't see any student, I need this night to let go of the horror that was last week.

Alice is very bouncy tonight, even more than usual. She tells me about the "delicious" Mr. Hale, Rosalie's father, whose name is apparently Jasper and who swept her off her feet. She met him yesterday and they have a date tomorrow night. I envy the simplicity of it. Meet someone, going for dinner and a movie.

Alice also approves of my outfit tonight, a simple but slightly provocative black and white dress. She's not the only one apparently. A couple of men approach me and I dance with them. I have fun but I don't want it to go any further.

The second one, Paul seems to have a problem with the concept and keeps rubbing my arms and slurring drunken words in my ear. In the end, I try to bolt but he grips my wrist. I'm about to slap him and give him a piece of my mind when a guy brutally sends us flying into someone behind us. I collide with a hard body and the hairs on my neck take notice. So does my nose, recognizing the sweet and masculine scent instantly.

I face him, my eyes closed in despair because I can't seem to catch a break. In all his godlike beauty, Edward is here and his eyes are tender and shining. I've made up my mind. If he still wants me, I'm his.

**See, she just needed a little push ;). Please review. XO Steph.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: See? Nice and early update! I didn't want to have you wait too long. This chapter is the turning point of the story but some of you who like their citrus might be disappointed...You'll have it later (I'm not saying soon, but later), don't worry ;)! Enjoy...**

This week had been one of the most exhausting of my life. Kate was tireless in her crusade for the love of my life. It seemed her story was so complicated and under wraps she made it a personal affair to see me happy and in a relationship. I liked her simple way of seeing things but she seemed oblivious to the obstacles that were still in our way. Even if Bella decided she wanted to be with me, our path would be very bumpy, to say the least.

It didn't seem to be the case, anyway. She had been cold and distant all week, keeping our exchanges impersonal. I was now completely despairing that the plan would work out. It was not a simple question of jealousy but of morality. She basically didn't believe we could be together, following some stupid rule or another. I had almost ended up crying in the middle of the school hall on several occasions. Fortunately for me and my high school reputation, Kate, Emmett, Angela and Ben were there to give me the strength to keep my chin up. I didn't know what I would have done without them.

Emmett had been luckier than me in his "Win Rosalie" operation. Since she first saw him with Irina, she had finally started to notice him and given him the chance he deserved. They had exchanged their first kiss last night and my brother looked like he was on cloud nine.

Kate had convinced me to go with her to Castaways in Port Angeles on Friday night. Apparently she had overheard a conversation between Miss Brandon and Mr. Grant about a girls' night where Bella would make an appearance. When I objected to Kate that we were too young to be in this club, she simply rolled her eyes, and muttered that "she had her ways". I was confused at first but I finally understood that she meant we would use fake IDs. Tonight, I'd be Jacob Jankowski, 21 years old from Albuquerque. Don't even ask me…

I dressed soberly but elegantly so that I looked old enough to be accepted inside. A dark grey shirt and black slacks with my Doc Martens should do the trick. I was very nervous because I didn't know how Bella would react to seeing me there. Would that push her over the edge, would she yell at me for being obvious? Maybe she'd ask that I leave her alone, I wouldn't blame her. What would I do then?

Mom was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. She had believed gullibly that Emmett and I were joining Angela and Ben for a movie in town, followed by a coffee at the diner. She seemed happy to see us having a semblance of a social life. In reality, Rosalie would be the one to join Emmett for a movie.

When we got to the pub, I was practically shaking I was so nervous. I had never been inside a club and I had certainly never used a fake ID before. The bouncer seemed to believe our charade and was convinced by Kate's cleavage because he let us in. Part one of the plan accomplished.

We ordered Cokes at the bar and scanned the crowd. The place was full of all sorts of people and it appeared we weren't the only one to cheat about our ages. No one from Forks High, though. It would have been the last straw if Jessica Stanley or Lauren Mallory had been there to spy on us.

I was standing patiently in a corner next to the dance floor when I heard giggling. A beautiful woman and a man were dancing and apparently having a good time. At the end of the song though, the energy seemed to change because the man suddenly seized her wrist to prevent her from leaving. She was about to fight back and I was getting ready to help her when she suddenly crashed into me, brutally pushed by a rude jerk who had visibly drunk too much. I was assaulted by the sweet and carnal scent I'd recognize anywhere. Bella was in my arms like I dreamed she would be all week. She came there unwillingly but still, it was something.

I expected her to freak out and flee from me but she didn't. She looked at me with an unreadable expression and suddenly pulled me in a dark corner behind stairs. We were pretty much invisible there.

"What are you doing here?" The music was loud but not too much so we could talk without yelling.

"I came here with Kate." After all, it was the truth even if my motives were very different from what she believed.

"Fake IDs right?" She said, smirking. "Don't worry, I've been there."

"Huh…" I didn't know what else to say, I felt stupid and embarrassed.

"So, is your little friend with you?" Her voice was suddenly very dry.

"Yes, probably near the bar, why?"

"Have you fucked her yet?" She asked as if it was the most normal question in the world.

I gaped at her, stunned beyond belief. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. And then, I really looked at her, her chin was trembling and her eyes were filled with tears. I stopped thinking rationally and pulled her outside with me.

There was a dark alley next to the club and I dragged her behind me. I was a mindless creature and I wanted some answers.

As soon as we were out of view, I shot.

"Why did you ask me that?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" she sighed. "I've had one drink and maybe…"

"No, I'm done with excuses, I want straight answers. Why did you ask me that?" I barely restrained myself, I wanted to kiss her so bad and force her to tell me the truth. But it had to come from her, I knew that.

"Bella, tell me." It was like I'd said the magic words. She started pacing in front of me.

"When I saw you with her, I was torn. Torn you hear me? And I know I had no right to be but I was. How could I not know that you had a girlfriend before? I felt so stupid, and mad at myself. That's why I came here tonight, to forget about you, and you with her and…"

I stopped her rant and slowly drew her to me. I looked into her eyes and knew that I was going to ask the question that would seal my fate.

"What does it mean? Were you jealous?" I caressed her cheek. She melted into me.

"Yes, I was. I was mad with jealousy. I am still, I don't want you with her. God, I'm so selfish…" She cried, shaking her head.

"What do you want, then?" My voice was barely audible.

She took a deep breath, and I was hanging to her lips. Her answer would define my life, break me or make me whole. That's when she started kissing my neck and jaw and causing goose bumps to erupt all over my body.

"I want you."

**Yes, I'm evil but you know that by now :). Next chapter in a couple of days, don't forget to review and tell me what you think.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: You might like this chapter :). I wish I owned Twilight and Rob's Sweden black jumper. Was he hot or was he hot? Enjoy!**

My whole body is on fire. It sings whenever he is close and now that he is, it can't get enough. His lean form, his broad shoulders, his arm around my waist like a silky and loving snake, his long, long legs are perfection. He tastes wonderful as well, part cologne (I definitely must ask him what he wears) and part him, clean and sweet, male and irresistible.

I kiss his neck, every little part I can reach, under his magnificent jaw, his Adam apple. I want to lick him but I don't dare. Maybe he'll push me away, tell me I'm crazy. After all, I just told him I wanted him and he still hasn't said a word or reacted. What if I'm too late, what if he doesn't want me?

I stop worrying and start moaning softly when I feel his lips on my hair, peppering kisses on my forehead and my temple. He slowly rubs his large hands all over my back and shoulders and I feel like I'm going to explode from so much tension. My breathing is labored and so is his. Our eyes meet and the desperation and desire I see in his mirror mine.

"I want you too…" he whispers hotly in my ear. "I want to…" He stops, shyness reappearing.

"What do you want?" I kiss his chin, worshipping every part of him.

"I want to have you in my room." He moans, lost in the moment and I moan too.

"Really? What would we do there?" I provoke, wanting to hear him say the words I long for. The throbbing between my legs is unbearable.

He looks at me, eyes hooded and short breath. I see he's struggling with himself, his natural reserve restraining him but he finally finds courage.

"You would fuck me", he says and he licks his lips, making me whimper. "And I would fuck you too."

I lose all reason and attack him. No more sweet kisses, savage deep ones and our tongues make love to each other. He attacks me in return, devouring my mouth, so sensually I want to weep. He learns my lips and I learn his. When he's out of breath, he trails his mouth and tongue on my neck and sucks almost brutally under my ear. His hands are wandering all over my body, my back, my ass, my legs.

I press him against the wall and do some wandering of my own. I slip my hands under his shirt and finally, finally feel his skin, hot under my fingers. The fire explodes between us and even though I know we can't do anything here, I want him to take me, to possess me. He already owns me in every sense of the word. I want him so much I can taste it. I love him so much it scares me.

"Please…" I whisper while he keeps assaulting my neck and sucking on my collarbone.

"What?" He grunts, his lips never leaving my skin.

"Make me come, please…I'll make you come too." I am shocked by my own words. I've never said this kind of thing before, never pleaded for pleasure like this.

He gasps, his surprise evident but it doesn't last. To my great relief, it is replaced by a deep groan, almost animalistic and a look of pure lust. To be sure we understand each other, he presses himself against me and turns me around, my back now pressed against the wall.

He thrusts his whole body against mine and I can feel him, his erection even through the jeans. He grinds but seems to think it's not enough and suddenly lifts me up. I feel frustrated too and pull my dress up so it's not in his way anymore. My legs surround his waist naturally as if they had always been there.

His hands are on my hips, holding me firmly and his lips find their way back on mine. I'm happy he kisses me because it swallows the deep moan I can't repress when he starts moving against me. He puts his whole body into it and my hips respond to his, circling and pushing and pulling. My clit is stimulated in all the right ways and hearing Edward's noises turns me into a wanton creature. All that matters is his cock against my center and his tongue fucking my mouth, promising me divine pleasures later.

I come first, and this climax is hands down the best I've ever known, blindingly exquisite. I cry in his mouth and bite his lower lip. He comes right after, grunting and panting my name.

We catch our breath together, my legs still locked around him and never wanting to let him go. It's the first time in my life I've done something so daring, so forbidden. I know it's wrong but I'm too blissed up to care. The pleasure was absolute and obvious. No need for pathetic foreplay or romantic settings, just him and me together, our desire and need enough to make us explode.

He rests his head on my shoulder, still panting. I caress his hair, so silky and wild and I want to stay here forever. Reality has no meaning anymore and the way he snuggles against me tells me he feels the same. I feel warm all over, not just from our recent activities but from the feeling of closeness I share with him. I am his shelter and he's my everything, my treasure in this cold world.

"I'm sorry, I've been a brute" He whispers, his eyes afraid.

"Are you kidding? I asked for it, I loved it." I cup his cheek and kiss him lightly. I want him to accept he can be rough, or soft and I'll want him just as much.

"You did?" He asks, a slow smile stretching his lips. "I did too, so much."

"I'm glad you did. I wasn't sure you'd want me, after everyth…" He interrupts me, cupping my ass and pressing me even deeper against him. I can't believe I want him again, so soon.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…" He breathes against my mouth. "Don't you know, you're the one, the only one I want?" He watches me, adores me with his eyes.

"What about Kate?" I had completely forgotten about her but his words awake my memory.

"Don't be mad but…" He kisses me deeply, leaving me wanting. "She is a friend and she helped me. I wanted to make you jealous." He looks shy again.

I'm elated and happy. He never wanted her, he did this for me, to make me react. _Boy, did it work! _

"I'm sorry I put you through this. I'm an idiot and you made me see the light." I clutch his neck, bracing myself.

"What do you mean?" He asks, uncertain and so beautiful he takes my breath away. How can he want me?

"You're the only one I want too." His eyes shine with a new light and his smile is contagious.

"Ahem!"

Our bubble burst violently. We've been discovered.

**Author lights a cigarette and waits anxiously for her dear readers' reactions. XO Steph**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Thanks for your reactions to the last chapter dear readers, they meant the world to me :). Here's Edward in all his glory, still not mine alas…**

We came together and I couldn't tell you which moan was mine or which whimper was hers. We were one, finally united. No, we didn't make love but she finally asked for she wanted and I gave it to her. I told her she was the one and she didn't run away. She accepted it and told me I was the one for her too.

I pressed myself against her, still unable to believe what just happened. I had never felt a pleasure this intense in my life. I think it had more to do with the link I shared with her, that absolute certainty that I couldn't live without her. This past week had been torture, without her smile, her presence. We had seen each other only to work on the project and we had been so cold, so not like us.

Now the warmth had returned, scratch that, the heat had returned and all the lies had been erased. Against all odds, I was hers and she was mine. My dream was finally real and I was ready to confront anything or anyone in the way of it.

I was about to kiss her once more, her luscious lips tempting me and almost covering mine when real life brutally interrupted us.

"Ahem!" I jumped and so did Bella. We quickly untangled, and braced ourselves for battle.

"Well, I knew there was something going on between you guys but whoa, that was hot!" Bella sighed with relief and my own shoulders sagged a little.

"Heidi, for crying out loud, don't scare us like that!" Bella chuckled. "What are you doing here?"

"What? A single girl can't go out on a Friday night and have fuuun?" She wiggled her eyebrows and I couldn't help snorting at her antics. She was the good kind of crazy.

"Edward…I have to thank you, man." She declared, her eyes suddenly serious.

"Me? Why?" I barely knew her. Why could she thank me for?

"You finally put a smile on the girl's face. Trust me, it wasn't easy, I tried. But then again, you have some…hmm, arguments I don't possess." She wiggled her eyebrows again. I suddenly felt very self-conscious, and I wasn't the only one. I also wasn't the only one turning crimson.

"Did you see us?" Bella asked anxiously, grabbing my hand.

"No, honey, I didn't see anything. But you're lucky there's no one else around because you two sounded like you were enjoying yourselves."

"Oh my God…" Bella muttered. I put my arm around her waist and kissed her temple.

"Maybe we should go back inside. Heidi's right, we should be careful." It was the last thing I wanted to do but we didn't want to blow our cover;

"Yes, ok…" She sighed. "Heidi, can you give us a minute? I'll join you inside and introduce you to the girls."

"Alright, Bellissima. See you Ed." She nodded her head at me.

"See you."

The second Heidi was out of sight, Bella pulled her arms around my neck and her cheek against my chest.

"Your heart is beating so fast. She scared you, right? I thought I was going to have a heart attack." She murmured.

"She scared me but that's not why my heart is beating so fast." I kissed her hair.

"Why, then?"

"You know why." I smirked. She wanted to hear the words.

"No, I don't, tell me." She raised her eyes to mine. They were shining intensely.

"My heart is beating fast…because of what just happened, between you and me. Because I just…" I couldn't say it.

"You just what?"

"I just came." I said in a sigh, my eyes closed.

Bella grabbed my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her. Her smile was blinding.

"You did, huh? I was wondering what all the groaning was about…" I let out an embarrassed laugh. "I came too, you know. It felt so good to do it with you." She whispered in my ear.

I wasn't embarrassed anymore, I was turned on again. So was she, I could tell. She was almost shaking.

"I wish I could…stay with you…" She peppered kisses all over my neck and I moaned. "But, I have to go back inside. The girls will be wondering where I am."

"Alright" I croaked "I need to go back inside and find Kate." She frowned.

"Oh, yes Kate."

"To tell her the charade is over, I mean." I smiled and roamed my hands on her back. "Tell her you finally succumbed to my charms."

"That I did…" She mumbled. "Can you come to my house tomorrow? Around two? To, hmm, work on the project." She resumed her ministrations on my neck.

"I can, I will." I kissed her one last time and let her go back inside. I waited a few more minutes, so it didn't look suspect and also for my …situation to deflate before returning to Kate, who was waiting for me at the bar.

"So, I suppose you were too occupied to spend time with me, baby?" She fake pouted. "Isn't that the hottie French professor I see over there, all flushed and looking freshly fucked?"

"We didn't do anything!" I protested. Kate raised her eyebrows.

"What kind of idiot do you take me for? You look freshly fucked too." She laughed.

"We didn't have sex." I hissed, hiding my embarrassment under anger.

"Maybe not, but close enough. Look Edward, I don't want to rain on your parade but trust me. You have to be very careful. Having sex with a minor could ruin this woman's career, damn even her life. You two should wait." Seeing my distraught expression, she raised her hands.

"It's not prudish on my part. It's simple common sense. If you get caught before you turn eighteen, things could get ugly, man." I knew she was right. After all, she knew about impossible love stories.

"So wise, Kate, so wise. Thanks for your advice, it's definitely worth considering. I guess we'll have to talk about that together."

"Yes and soon." She insisted.

"We are seeing each other tomorrow."

"Good, talk before you start groping each other again." I blushed. "Was it good? The groping I mean." She was so blunt. I envied her actually.

"Yes, it was, thanks for asking." I laughed.

"That's great, I'm happy for you." And she was. She always said what she meant.

We left shortly after and I drove her back home. She gave me a chaste kiss goodbye.

"Ah, Edward, if I wasn't into girls…" She got out of the car, snorting. I shook my head and headed home.

I knew I was in trouble when I saw that Mom was in the kitchen, looking angry and ready to yell. I instantly braced myself. Did she know something?

"Edward, you are in serious trouble, young man." Yep, she knew something. I was dead.

**Oh, oh…Let me know what you think, as always :). XO, Steph.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Thanks for your wonderful reviews, I love them :). Bella has some things to say…and more. See you at the end.**

My body had never felt that sated. Never. It was like it had been asphyxiated and suddenly given blessed oxygen to bring it back to life. As I laid there on my bed, I couldn't help reliving the little scene with Edward and the memories of his lips devouring my neck, of his hips against mine, of his moans, made my belly clench deliciously. Desire burst again, only now I was alone. Had it happened to me with anyone else, I would have taken care of things myself. With him, I only wanted his hands on me, mine would be the impostor here.

I had gone back inside the club to find Heidi and introduce her to Alice and the girls. They had hit it off spectacularly and I'd been very grateful for her presence since I was million miles away and couldn't bring myself to focus. I think Alice was onto me but Heidi had deflected the attention on her and saved me from suspicion. I wouldn't have known what to say to explain my behavior. "_Well,_ _I just had the most intense orgasm of my life and realized I was madly in love with a 17-year-old." _Yeah, that would have gone well.

My cell buzzed and I picked it up distractedly. It was probably Alice or Heidi, wondering if I had made it home in one piece. I almost fell from the bed when I read the message.

_**I called Heidi's café for your number. She gave it to me, hope you don't mind. I miss you. E**_

Have you ever seen a grown woman melt? It's not pretty. I tried to stay coherent and type a response that wouldn't be pathetically girly.

_**I miss you too. So much. B**_

Yes, I failed.

_**I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Do you still want me to come? E**_

Yes, baby, I want you to come. Inside me, if possible. _Sure Bella, type that, that's a good idea._

_**Of course! At 2? B**_

_**I really want to kiss you right now. E**_

_**Me too. B**_

_**I want to do more than that. E**_

Oh dear baby Jesus…Maybe I'd have to take care of things by myself. The thought of seeing him tomorrow, feeling his body, every part of it against mine is almost too much to bear.

_**So do I. B**_

I hesitate and then decide to be brave.

_**I want to do everything. B**_

What is he going to answer to that? Any hot response and I'm flying to the shower.

_**Believe me I want to as well, but we need to talk about that. E**_

Since when has he become the reasonable one, the one who thinks before he acts? It looks like I'm the crazy girl I've never been in high school, impulsive and thinking with only the way I feel about him.

_**You're so calm, so wise about this. Thank you. B**_

_**No baby, I'm not. I want you badly! I just had some good advice. E**_

_**What I really want is to devour you, ravish you in your house. E**_

_**Do you want that too? E**_

I'm sitting here, thinking my shower is going to be a very long one.

_**What do you think? B**_

_**God, you're driving me crazy. See you tomorrow. E**_

_**And you're killing me. See you tomorrow. B**_

After my delicious, long shower, I feel better but I'm still restless. I think about him and everything I adore about him. His beautiful eyes are the last thing I see before I fall asleep.

Edward shows up at my house, the day after at two o'clock sharp. Charlie is predictably fishing with a couple of friends and we have the place to ourselves for the whole afternoon. After politely greeting him at the door for the sake of the neighbors, I drag him behind me to the closest flat surface which would be the wall. It seems our bodies love walls and remember how much fun they had against the last one.

He is ravenous, kissing me everywhere he can, his hot lips leaving a raging fire in their wake. I moan, I whimper and he groans. We're like two people in the desert, finding water after a long torturous walk. Pleasure is uncomplicated, unsophisticated. I want him and he wants me too. Still, in the back of my lust-filled brain, I vaguely remember that he wanted to talk about something. I slowly and very reluctantly pull away. He pouts playfully but comes to a halt as well. We breathe in each other's necks, and I bathe in his delightful scent.

"I can't believe you're here. You're here…" I murmur in his ear, kissing it lightly. He hums and circle his arms around my waist, keeping me close. Like I would want to get away from him.

"I can't stop thinking about you, about last night. I couldn't wait to come here and see you." His smile is warm and sexy. How can he affect me so much? It's like he revolutions everything I've ever believed in, with a simple gesture.

"You said you wanted to talk about something." I say, rubbing his pecs with my hands. I can't stop touching him and he touches me too, his fingers displayed on my lower back, wandering. We both shiver and take a trembling breath.

"I-I think we should sit. I won't be able to stop if we stay like this." His eyes are closed and he's clearly at war with himself. I am too.

I take his hand and guide him to the couch. We stay in each other's arms though. Distance is a concept I want to forget when I'm with him. I know what we're doing is crazy but I don't care.

"Bella, there's some things you need to know before we go any further." His eyes are worried.

"What is it? Tell me…" I urge, kissing his hands.

"The first one is that I…I've never done this before. I've never had a girlfriend, never …been with anyone." He's so brave to say that. I fall in love with him all over again when I watch his face blushing with embarrassment, his eyes closing and his breath accelerate.

"That's okay. I like to be the first one for you." He smiles and it's his turn to kiss my hands tenderly.

"The second one is that I won't be able to sneak much. I'm in trouble with my mother and she grounded me for the next month." He sighs.

"Why?"

"She found out Emmett was not with me last night when he came back from the movies earlier and I wasn't with him. The idiot…" He chuckles, denying the harshness of his words.

"How could you come here, if you're grounded?" I ask curiously.

"Well, I had to work on the project with my very serious French teacher, didn't I?" He waggles his eyebrows and stares at me in a way that should be illegal. I'm suddenly very wet.

"You did." I sigh when I feel his mouth deliciously teasing my collarbone. I almost cry it feels so good.

"Was…th-there a third th-thing?" I stutter, unable to concentrate because his hands are slowly caressing the outside of my breasts.

"Yes, there is. We can't…hmm…make love until my birthday. It'd be too dangerous if people found out." I slowly realize that two months separate us from that day. God help me, I wouldn't be able to wait. The pleasure last night had been too intense, how could I?

"You mean, no touching until then?" I sound wanton and pathetic.

He smirks and pulls me to his lap. I can feel him, hot and hard beneath me. He wants to torture me, that's what it is.

"No, baby" His hot breath cause goose bumps to erupt all over my body. "I said we couldn't make love. I didn't say we couldn't do anything else."

"Well then," I say with a smirk of my own. "I have plenty of ideas."

**Evil, evil author! See you next week :)…In the meantime, leave me your thoughts.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thanks for your reviews, you're all wonderful. The scene is Edward's now!**

I bow my head obediently and plaster a repentant expression on my face but inside, my relief is so intense I want to cry. Mom doesn't know a thing. Emmett was just stupid enough to come back earlier than me, alone. So, of course, she found out about the bar, the fake IDs, everything. Everything except the most important part: Bella.

Saying goodbye had been so hard last night. The connection we had created was not ready to be broken so soon and yet, we had to be reasonable. For the first time in my life I wanted to be crazy and spontaneous. It was also very unusual for me to be assertive and taking charge, and I was surprised by how easy it was. To be somebody's equal instead of their doormat was new to me.

Calling Heidi last night was an impulsion but I didn't regret it. Bella and I shared one of the most intense and erotic moments I had ever known, without talking or seeing each other. Who knew texting could be so hot? When she said she wanted everything with me, I almost ran down the stairs, took my car and kicked her door down. Feeling like a cave man, and to say it crudely, wanting to fuck someone was also not a typical Edward Cullen reaction.

I almost forgot about Kate's words when I saw Bella. Her beauty, though simple and natural overwhelmed me, like every time I saw her. It seemed she couldn't wait to see me either because she basically dragged me to the nearest wall. I was hard in seconds and trust me, my dick wanted nothing more than to say hello. I almost came from kissing alone it was so intense.

I realized we had to talk and said my piece, one of the most difficult things I had ever done in my life. Waiting two months to enter her, to become one with her would be sheer torture. I knew it was wise in the end though, because we would be free to do what we wanted after that. Especially after graduation. What would happen then? Would I leave? Would she leave? Just the thought of us being separated made my head spin and my heart hurt.

Bella is in my lap now and I'm aching everywhere. I'm so turned on when she's close to me that way. The way her scent surrounds me, her skin touches mine, her eyes seem to penetrate my very soul is the most extraordinary feeling in the world. I can't put it in words but there's one thing I can do, though. So I do it, I push my hips into her and let her feel me, all of me. She moans loudly. It's true we can't go all the way but we can acclimate to each other and take a lot of pleasure in the process.

I know she is experienced and can't wait to be her game partner. I know our link goes deeper than that but our desire has been repressed and now wants to break free. So we let it do what it wants. Bella's hands previously in my hair travel slowly south, caressing my neck, my shoulders. They brush against my ribs and tug lightly on my hoodie. I take it off and relish the sound of her gasping. She roams my chest with hungry eyes and suddenly pounces.

Her lips are everywhere, licking and nipping at my skin. Her movements are slow and sensual, yet passionate. She hums against me, making me squirm and groan. My body is on the fence of unspeakable pleasure and I'm bracing myself for it.

I try to give as good as I get and caress her underneath her clothes. The feeling of her lace covered breasts is beyond erotic. The cave man in me makes me pull her closer to me and press my hands harder. The small little cry she emits excites me so much I decide to be even bolder and lower the delicate garment so the mounds are hot against my hands. She stops her ministrations and lets me pleasure her.

Now I'm not experienced but I'm guessing touching her will feel good for her and I want that, so much. So I twist her nipples, massage and fist her breasts as expertly as I can. Apparently, I do a good job because Bella's eyes are closed and her mouth muffles some very exciting noises. She starts moving against me again but I stop her.

"What? You don't want to?" She stammers, confused.

"Oh I want to, baby but…"I hesitate, not knowing if she'll want to do what I have in mind.

"But…wh-what?" She hisses after an almost vicious move from my thumb against one tender bud.

"I want to touch you…and I…w-want you to touch me." I close my eyes, waiting for her to put a halt to everything.

"You mean, like that?" Her tone is surprisingly assertive and I wonder for a second what caused this change when, suddenly I don't think about anything. Blood stops nourishing my brain when I feel her hot fingers circling my dick through my jeans. And then, they start to move, up, down. Up. Down. UP, DOWN. Slow, then fast. God, I'm going to come in record time.

As if that was not enough, her lips are sucking my collarbone ferociously, her tongue worshipping my skin like a delicious meal. I decide to follow her lead and suck her as well. My fingers are more shy than hers but they also start to push into her clit, rubbing and teasing in turn. She moans and I whimper and we are isolated into our lust bubble. I try to delay the inevitable but after I hear her groan a particularly sexy sound, I can't stop my orgasm from washing over me, a violent and delicious wave. My noises are shocking to my own ears. I sound like I'm in pain and yet, it's the most exquisite sensation. After I start moaning and twitching against her hand, Bella lets out a strangled cry, a litany of "fucks" and shudders against me.

I don't want to land back to Earth, and neither does she but at least, we do it together. A deep chuckle vibrates in my ear and I can't contain my bliss anymore. I kiss her like a starving man and laugh too, in the crook of her neck. Whatever happens to us, whatever obstacle comes our way, we will have this moment, forever.

I shouldn't have thought that, because about a second later, a loud pounding makes us jump apart from each other and a voice I've come to hate lately calls cheerily.

"Bella, beautiful? It's me, James!"

She gulps, I glare.

**Oh, oh trouble in Paradise? Did you like it? Let me know, I'm new at this lemon writing thing :).**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thanks for reading and for your wonderful reviews, I love reading all of them! Bella's the one leading us today :).**

Oh the pleasure! Ecstasy was not strong enough a word to describe what I was feeling. Actually, I didn't want to find a word. Words are very unnecessary, a famous song would say and I agreed completely. I, the verbose one, the teacher, only wanted to show my love and not talk about it, for once. That's when I knew and realized that Edward was the real deal for me. Jake and I used to talk all the time, which is a good thing when you don't have any passion left for the other. It fills the gaps.

When I was in Edward's arms, the world outside disappeared, became a sort of distant entity, far away from us. We truly were in our own little bubble and I couldn't get enough of him. What I loved the most was that he was so willing to please me. As inexperienced as he was, he always found the words that'd make me moan and he definitely knew what to do to make my body react. The memory of his hands deliciously torturing my breasts earlier was enough to make me squirm again. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like if we had sex. I'd probably explode from too much pleasure.

He was panting against me. His neck was almost sweaty and I wanted to lick it again. Never in my whole life had I ever had such a carnal reaction to someone. Every little detail about him drove me absolutely crazy. I was seriously considering giving him a hickey when a loud pounding at the door brutally separated us. James' voice burst our little bubble and I saw Edward's jaw clench.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what he wants." I whispered, worried about the frown between his eyes.

"That's okay." He answered, even though he seemed far from being okay.

"Should I hide?"

"No, your car is in the driveway. We can say we've been working on our project." I added, wanting to slap myself.

"Yes, we can do that." He snapped, straightening his clothes and his hair, which I had savagely ravaged.

"Please, don't be m…"

"Bella!" James called. "I know you're here, open the door, baby!" I was going to enjoy killing him. Slowly.

"I'm coming!" I yelled in exasperation.

Casting Edward a last longing look, I went and opened the door.

"Hey James…" I smiled.

"Bella baby, what do you say we go for a walk together? The weather's so nice today." His eyes were shining and he looked excited like a little boy.

"Sorry but I have work to do today." I said, pointing to Edward with a serious look on my face. The perfect teacher devoting her free time to work with a student. Right.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen! Doing homework on a Saturday? Aren't you the overzealous student?" James teased. I knew he didn't mean to hurt but Edward's face twisted with annoyance.

"Mr. Grant." He barely nodded at him, his usual polite self nowhere to be seen.

"Edward and I are working on a literature project." I explained patiently.

"Oh well, in that case, I'll leave you two to your work. Bella, I need to tell you something. Can I call you later?" James insisted.

"S-sure…" I stuttered. That goof was going to give Edward the wrong idea and leave me deal with the consequences.

"Alright! Talk to you later, babe." He waved at me, nodded at Edward and finally left.

I shut the door and found myself speechless at the look of pure fury on Edward's face. He was shaking with anger and his eyes were almost black.

"Babe…" he whispered, his voice dangerous.

"Edw…" I tried.

"Baby…" he said slowly rising from his seat.

"Look, I don't…"

"Call you later…" He was now inches from me. The look of possessiveness on his face was so hot I almost jumped him.

"Tell me Bella, why does he want to call you?" He asked, his voice falsely calm.

"I don't know what he wants, I promise." Where was the strong woman I usually was? All I could see now was the man I loved, and his need to know I was his.

"I don't want him to call you!" He shouted. I should have been angry but I took his outburst for what it was. A desperate plea, to tell me he wanted me for himself alone. After all, my number about Kate at the club was not much better.

"Look!" I said forcefully. "I don't know why he wants to call me but I can tell you I absolutely don't care. All I care about is you, here with me. Do you trust me, or not?" The last words were almost whispered because I wasn't sure of anything.

Edward's face seemed to relax and he blew a deep sigh.

"Fuck…I'm so sorry. Yes, I trust you. I don't know what came over me. Fuck!" He hissed again, angry and frustrated tears at the corner of his eyes.

"Don't worry about it. Remember what I told you at the club?" I soothed.

"Which part?"

"The part about you, fucking Kate. I was so out of line…" I grabbed his hands and started kissing them, tenderly and slowly.

He chuckled, his voice raw and wrapped me in his arms. I suddenly felt so cherished, more than I had ever been.

"Yes, I remember. I was shocked. Those words…coming out…of your mouth." I shivered under his lips, sensually molding around my jaw.

"Yes, I was so angry to see you with her. I wanted to tear her heart out…" I softly moaned. He had started a slow progression from my lips to my ears and sucked them slowly with his hot tongue.

"Oh I know what you mean. I could have killed him from the couch…Bella…"He whimpered because I had pulled his body closer to mine and started grinding against him.

"You have nothing to worry about. He is a friend, that's all." I said, kneading his scrumptious ass with both my hands.

"What are you doing to me? I've never felt th-that…"He stuttered. "You're the first one, the only one."

"God, we are in so much trouble. How am I going to resist jumping your sexiness for months?" I teased, punctuating my question with soft kisses to his temple.

He laughed, his eyes shining with a whole new emotion. Anger had vanished, replaced by a tenderness so strong I almost cried.

"Oh I don't know…Maybe we should try and distract ourselves?"

"How?"

"Maybe by", he gasped teasingly, "working on the project?"

"Is that what you want to do?" I asked innocently, though I was feeling very wicked.

"Oh no, baby. That's not what I want to do."

"More touching?" I whispered, hopeful.

"Mmm, maybe later but right now, I want to tell you something."

"About what?" I was breathless under his gaze.

"About my feelings for you."

**Surprise, a cliffie! I hope you guys liked this chapter, leave me your thoughts. For those of you interested, I'm also writing another story "Last interview in Paris", come check it out! XO, Steph.**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Wow, it's been a week, I missed you everyone! Thanks for reading and reviewing, it really makes my crazy life easier to put up with :). I'm sorry about the shortness of the chapter but I had very little time and wanted you to have it!**

She opens her mouth then closes it, in a trembling breath. She looks almost panicked, as if she hadn't expected me to say that. I meant it though. I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't tell her how I felt about her. Really tell her, not circling around the subject, saying I want only her. Which is true, but not what my heart feels. My hearts is bursting with so much love for her, it can't contain it anymore.

"Your feelings for me?" she stammers, her cheeks flushed and her eyes wide.

"Do you how I feel about you, baby? I want to tell you but do you know?" She has to know, doesn't she? I must be pretty obvious.

"I know you want me…" she whispers with a sultry smile, though it seems a little forced. It doesn't reach her eyes and I know then. She has no idea.

"Do you think that's all?" I add, taking her in my arms. Her warmth engulfs me and comforts me. What I like the most is the way her arms hug me, hard and passionate. The way her head nestles in my neck and the way she completely melts into me, like we're two halves of the same being.

"I don't know…You need to tell me, Edward…" Her lips kiss my jaw tenderly and make me tremble.

"Look at me, then." I say, cupping her jaw. I take a deep breath and decide to just go for it. If she shoots me, she does. I have to take a risk once in my life.

"I love you, Bella." My voice is clear, even though my heart is racing, pounding so hard I might faint.

I close my eyes, enduring her silence with as much dignity as I can. She obviously doesn't want me to say the words. She doesn't feel the same way. I start pulling away but she doesn't let me. Her arms hold me tighter and she whispers.

"Don't go. Please…open your eyes." I do and her beautiful, open face is staring right at me. Her eyes are shining with tears and her smile is blinding. Hope overwhelms me and I start breathing again.

"What you just said…is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. You saying those words is…Well it's almost a miracle." Tears are rolling on her cheeks and I want to kiss them away. But I'm paralyzed.

"I'm sorry, I' m rambling and I'd like so much to be clear." She shakes her head, muttering at herself.

"What's stopping you?" I ask, fidgeting.

"I don't know, you're right!" she exclaims, surprising me with her sweet laughter.

"Then do it!" I laugh in return.

"I love you too!" she blurts and her tears double on her face. It's probably the most intense moment of my life.

"No, you don't..." I tease, kissing her loudly on her ears, her nose, everywhere I could reach.

"You don't believe me, huh?" She tickles me, making me giggle like a little girl.

"Ok, ok! I believe you!"

"So you love me?" She asks, whispering.

"Yep, Ma'am."

"Wow…"

"Yeah.

"And you love me?" I whisper as well.

"Yep, Mister."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Are we in trouble now?" I barely can think about what's ahead of us.

"Oh, yes, we are."

When she slides her tongue behind my ear, I forget all about it.

**There it is! Very short, but there it is. Did you like it? A much longer one on Wednesday, hopefully.**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: After the I love you's...Thanks for reading!**

My Edward stayed with me for as long as he could without looking suspicious to his mother. Our afternoon stayed in my mind like a sun, warming my heart and my body like a soft fire. Granted, when I thought about him and our want for each other, the flames multiplied and grew to a raging level.

We found the strength to do a little work on our project too. After all, it wouldn't look good if nothing was done after spending hours together. Choosing more musical background, more poems and creating a few sketches allowed us to share more things together and be intimate in a totally different way.

I didn't know how we would resist being together completely for two months. I wanted to say "the hell with it!" but Edward was right. If we got caught, things would be easier if we didn't sleep together. To prove it would be hell but I'm sure my blush would betray me if I had to lie about that. The problem was we barely could control ourselves around each other, how could we hold off?

Before Edward left, we clawed at each other again since we couldn't get enough of the other's skin, arms and warmth. When he was gone, I found myself very lonely, and felt so cold I never wanted to be without him anymore. The end of the school year couldn't come fast enough. Maybe we'd have a chance at something special, at happiness. The mere thought of it made me giddy with joy but I wasn't naïve. I knew love always comes at a price.

I also knew we had to be more careful around each other at school. Our reactions could be very passionate and explosive to say the least and we couldn't allow anything to escape in front of others especially other students. We were both very jealous and protective of the other and though it could lead to very pleasant making up when we could enjoy privacy, it could be totally disastrous in the presence of curious people.

The next couple of weeks were very busy at work. Between meetings with parents, working on the project and preparing for the last part of the school year, Edward and I had barely any time to see each other, except in class. That was probably a good thing because I was about to die from sexual frustration from the hotness of my boy.

There were perks and drawbacks to Edward and Kate's "break-up". The perks were obviously not seeing them try to swallow each other's tongues and gestures of affection, even if Edward had totally assured me that it was a show for my benefit. The drawbacks were the flock of girls, obviously not blind to his magnificence and trying to take Kate's place. He had to actually play another part, the hurt boy, not ready for another relationship. That didn't deter Jessica and Lauren to suggest a threesome to "make him feel better". I wanted to throttle them.

James had apologized for showing up at the house uninvited. It turns out he had met someone and wanted to talk to me about her. He wanted advice to "avoid fucking everything up" and I had breathed a sigh of relief. I never was absolutely sure about his intentions until that moment. Edward was happy too about this new development and showed a renewed enthusiasm in PE.

Today was Monday, two weeks after our memorable Saturday together and we had only been able to meet once at the coffee house. Edward's mother had been pretty possessive with her boys on the weekends and had wanted to spend more time with them, which I understood. Losing the love of your life was a terrible ordeal and I couldn't even begin to imagine what she was going through. Still, I missed Edward like a starving man misses food. Heidi had been nice enough to leave us alone again but a few stolen kisses were nowhere near enough.

It was four o'clock and I was about to leave school after a long day, tired but happy at the thought of seeing Edward tomorrow in class. I heard my phone vibrate with a text. My heart started beating faster.

_**At home, I told Mom I had to work with you. I can be there in ten minutes. E**_

Yes, finally!

_**Alright, I'll be there in five. Charlie will be back at six though. Sorry…B**_

_**That's ok, I need to see you even for 2 hrs. E**_

_**Me too. See you very soon. B**_

I rushed to my truck and drove faster than I ever had. I could feel my skin prickling with impatience and anticipation. I lived for those moments, to taste him and smell him and touch him. I quickly entered the house and rushed to the bathroom to refresh myself. I had barely finished brushing my teeth and taming my hair when a soft knocking at the door sent my heart on overdrive.

God, he was beautiful. In his usual discreet black clothes, he looked like the quiet student who wanted to be forgotten but his smirk and his dark eyes completely belied his shy appearance. That's what I loved the most about him. He was different around me, he was free and wild and adventurous. He said he loved me and I wanted to believe it. I was still having a hard time understanding why such a gorgeous man could have feelings for me, older and ordinary me but I could feel it in his gaze and in his kisses. He was so passionate and desperate, like a reflection of myself.

He entered quietly because we could be watched. As soon as the door was closed, Edward picked me up and carried me to the stairs.

"What are you doing?" I asked, secretly delighted.

"Taking you to bed, why?" He smiled, his eyes hungry.

"Wh..What? I thought we agreed…" _Shut up, seriously shut up. Are you going to deny him, __really__?_

"Oh, I know what we agreed on. But I want to touch you…" He whispered, his lips finally capturing mine, teasing me.

"Unngghh…" I breathed when I felt his tongue licking my neck. "First door on the right."

He chuckled and almost ran up the stairs, making me squeal. He didn't stop until he had the door locked behind us and me lying on my bed.

"So I was thinking…" Kiss. "we could go…" Nip. "…further today." Whimper. Mine.

"Further?" I managed.

"I want to make you feel good, touch you. With-without clothes on." His cheeks were pink and he looked so damn delectable I wanted to eat him up. Both ways.

"Really? I'd like that. Actually…" I straddled him and pressed myself against him. He sighed and moaned, his head tilted back while I lavished his Adam's apple with attention.

"Actually, what?" He rasped.

"I've missed you very much, you know? So I think it's only fair I get to decide what we do." I teased.

"I missed you too!" He protested but my hand on his lips stopped him.

"Well, I missed you more so I'll be the one to start."

"St-tart?" He stammered.

"Yes, start. You know, make you feel good. Touch you. Without clothes on."

He gulped and spread himself on the bed. My bed.

"Do what you want, I'm yours."

**Oh the possibilities…Sorry for the delay, life has been crazy for me lately! I'll try to update in a few days but I can't promise anything. Leave me your thoughts…**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N:** **So I seem to remember that Edward was in a peculiar position last time we saw him. Oh right ;)…Thanks to all of you, those who review, those who don't, and more generally to ****everyone keeping up with my twisted mind! XO Steph.**

Every part of me is throbbing. My entire body is vibrating from a desire so strong I can't even believe I am feeling it. It seems I don't belong to myself anymore, that I have surrendered everything to my love. My heart is pounding so hard it almost hurts and makes it difficult to breathe. My head is heavy and light at the same time, I feel pleasantly dizzy. And let's not forget the way my dick is trying to free itself from my jeans, desperate for a formal introduction to Bella.

Her hot breath is currently teasing my neck in the most pleasant way, her eyes half-closed and impatient, like she is deciding what to do next. When I hear the sound of my hoodie's zipper and feel her fingertips on my t-shirt, I know she has made up her mind. I frantically help her take the garment off, earning a deep chuckle and a moan. She runs her warm hands on my arms, insisting on my biceps.

"It feels gooood…" I sigh , my breath short because she has started massaging my arms and shoulders under the t-shirt. Her movements are precise, though slow and sensual. She wants to please and she so fucking does.

"You feel good, baby…" She murmurs, delicately kissing my temple. She stops and stares at me for a minute, her face flushed and her eyes undecided.

"I don't know what to do…" Seeing my confused expression, she quickly adds "No, I know what to do, but I'm unsure where to start, you look so…mmmh delicious." Her smile is shy and her hands are trembling, as if she doesn't dare to take the next step.

"Bella?" She raises her eyes to mine. "I don't care what you do, baby, just keep touching me…Here, let me help you." I take my damn t-shirt off, wanting direct contact, now. Bella emits the strangled sound that I love so much, the one she made when she landed in my lap, not so long ago.

After that, she is everywhere. Her hands, her mouth, her hair, all over my chest, my stomach and my face. I inhale her as much as I can and do some touching of my own, pushing her sweater over her head and cupping her breasts in my hands. It makes her stop what she is doing and I don't like that. So I whine.

"Why did you stop?" My voice is incredibly hoarse and words seem blocked in my throat. I don't want to speak, I want to feel.

"Well…"

She kisses me lightly and caresses my nipples, making me squirm.

"I really enjoy you undressing me…"

She continues her ministrations and starts toying with my pants' buttons.

"But I really want to focus…"

She unbuttons the first one and a moan escapes me.

"I want to worship you…"

Two more buttons and her hand is hovering right there.

"Edward?"

She starts pulling my jeans down.

"Yes?" I manage, my eyes closed.

"I want to touch you. Can I?" I could come. Right. Now.

"Y-y-yes, Bella, please…" I plead. Her responding whimper tells me it was not necessary.

My jeans are off, practically torn by our impatient hands. My boxers follow, slowly, under Bella's feverish fingers. I'm naked on her bed and she's still half-dressed. I don't feel vulnerable, though, or weak. I feel free. Wanted.

"Baby…" Bella groans.

"What?" I rasp, my dick at full attention. It twitches every time Bella touches me.

"Are you ready?" God, yes.

"Yes…"

The heat is unbearable and I need her to do something, anything.

She does.

"Oh fuuucckk…" I swear when she circles her hand around my dick and starts pumping very slowly. I'm leaking and she uses it to pleasure me. Her thumb teases my slit, ever so softly. There's a soft smile on her face, she looks proud of herself.

"Have you ever done that before? With a girl?" She asks, still pumping me, almost nonchalantly.

"N-no, never…" I croak, concentrating not to blow my load too quickly. The sensation is excruciating and delicious. Sweet, sweet torture.

"Do you like it?" She breathes, her breathing labored. She's affected too.

"Uungg…" I moan loudly. She's just started to quicken her movements. She's using both her hands now and the pressure is just right.

"You know…" She starts. Her hands go slow, then fast. Slow. Fast.

"I've dreamed of doing that to you…" Slow.

"Since that day, at the coffee house…" Fast. My back lifts from the bed.

"I felt you…" Slow.

"Hard…under me." Fast. I moan, my teeth biting my lips so hard I'm almost drawing blood. She whimpers and squirms.

"You felt so good Edward…" She's relentless now, settled on her goal. Driving me crazy.

"I wanted to feel you…" She touches my balls, wrapping them in her warm hand. Squeezing.

"Inside me…" That does it. I explode over her hands, in thick spurts. My orgasm seems to last forever and I moan and thrash, under Bellas's kisses and whispers of "I love you".

"I love you too…" I say after I finally regain consciousness.

Her face is glowing and a ridiculous smile stretches my lips. I feel sated, like I've never been before. I clean myself quickly in her bathroom and she does the same. Our eyes never leave the other in the mirror. The atmosphere gets heavy again and I see her chest heaving with want.

"Your turn." I smirk.

**Sorry if this one is a bit short but I thought you'd like it. Did you :)? **


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: I want to thank each and every one of you for reading, and particularly my dear reviewers. Every time I hear that little pong noise, I giggle, I kid you not. And I'm not a giggler…Are you ready for some Edward loving? I know you are ;)!**

My turn. His eyes had this glint that promised so much and every part of my body started tingling. Alright, a very specific part of my body started tingling. He had brought me to my knees when he had come on me earlier but just thinking that he could make _me _come was just too good to be real. And yet, here he was, in my bedroom, completely naked and he was mine.

Before I started squealing like a little girl, I took a few seconds to admire him again. So lean and long, so well proportioned, so deliciously muscled and pale. He was all male but beautiful like a work of art, his thighs, his arms and his cock. The one I had wanted in me since my eyes had met his for the first time. I would have it one day, I swore to myself.

I blinked and found myself pinned against the bathroom wall by my naked personal Adonis. The perk of his age was that he had incredible stamina, and here was the proof, against my inner thigh. I whimpered, pretty loudly. I quickly checked the time, only an hour before Charlie came home. I hopped up and circled my thighs very tightly around his waist. He could thrust so easily in that position. Just the idea made me faint with desire.

Edward had his eyes closed and his mouth parted. His hands started roaming me, from my back to my legs, avidly. His breathing was labored and I was in no better state.

"I love you, Bella…" He rasped, just before his lips claimed mine demandingly. He took charge, capturing my tongue with his and basically fucking the hell out of my mouth. Yes, my man had skills. I shivered.

"Are you cold?" He whispered, sucking that little sweet spot under my hairline.

"No, I'm not, not at all. E-Edward…" I stuttered. "I need you…"

In a few seconds, my back was no longer against the wall but on the bed, pressed under his hard and warm body. The feeling was incredible, protection and possession rolled into one.

Edward then launched his most powerful weapon on me: his eyes. They were the most beautiful I had ever seen, liquid sin and innocence, the purest green in the universe. They were almost black, now and I knew they were that way when he was turned on. I had other physical proofs of that, the hardness against me, the trembling of his legs and the goose bumps covering his arms.

"You know…I've never done that before. I'm not sure if I'll be any good at it." He admitted, pink in the face. He was the most adorable human being and I fell for him all over again.

"I don't care, baby…" I breathed, kissing him slowly and teasingly. "I'm sure I'll love it. Because it's you doing it." He smirked.

"Yes, me…"

His hands started going down after that and I lost myself to the sensation. He had such large and long hands, they felt so wonderfully expert, rolling and running on my skin. He took his time too, not rushing his movements, learning what made me react, what made me moan. And I did, a lot.

Experience was overrated, enthusiasm was the key. That's what was missing from my relationship with Jake. We knew each other by heart but we were jaded with each other, so we were doomed. I didn't think I could ever get enough of Edward. He was the key to my lock, he opened me completely.

Speaking of opening, he spread my thighs wide open for him and I helped him eagerly, settling comfortably against the pillows.

When his thumb first grazed my clit, I arched into his hand, wanting more.

He kept stroking very lightly and he moaned when he saw me, clenching my hands into fists and torturing the sheets.

He got bolder and put his other fingers in action. His forefinger and middle finger started teasing my slit and playing with my sex.

He seemed to like my "Fuck" response because his hesitation vanished and both digits entered me.

Stroking, curling, massaging…The constant movement and the eroticism of his panting mingling with mine caused my feet to dig into the bed.

He slowed his actions then, leaving me whining, almost sobbing from the lost bliss. I looked at him and saw the same mischievous light I had seen in his eyes before. He had a plan.

"You have the hottest pussy…" His voice was what sex sounded like. My man liked to talk dirty.

"Uungg, Edward…" I choked, incapable of saying anything else.

"I love touching you, just like this." His fingers started moving again and my whimpers were nonstop now.

"Soon, I'll do more than touch." Oh, heaven.

"I'll lick you…and I'll fuck you." His voice broke in the end, betraying his nerves.

I barely heard it, though, because he blew softly on my clit at the end. I saw the proverbial stars, the most potent ecstasy took over my entire body and I arched as high as I could. I think I cried, between my grunts and moans. Edward was a God of sex.

He looked very smug and had the silliest grin on his face, probably mirroring mine.

"Bella! Are you up here honey?"

Well, fuck, my father was here. Early.

**Short one again but I wanted to give it to you today since the next few days are going to be real busy for me. Leave me your thoughts :).**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Ready for the Charlie attack? Brace yourselves…**

We jumped apart from each other so fast she almost fell down the bed. Her panicked eyes probably reflected mine. It was the end of our secret for sure.

"Bella? I'm going to grab a pizza from the diner, do you want something honey?"

My eyes closed in relief and my shoulders sagged. I felt like a runner who was told he could finally sit down and rest. Bella's expression was one of pure panic until she realized her father was not going to burst inside the room.

"Honey?"

"Yes, Dad, get whatever you want!" She shouted in a trembling voice. After hearing the front door close, we both sat back on the bed with alarmed faces.

"How didn't he see your car? I don't get it…" She stammered.

"That's because I parked two streets away. I didn't want to take any chances." I smiled weakly.

"Oh, thank God! I was so happy to see you here I didn't even notice." She grinned back, rubbing my jaw tenderly.

"Baby…as much as I'd love to continue what we were doing, I think it's best if I go now or your father will really find me this time."

She sighed but nodded. She handed me my clothes, humming them stealthily and making me smile.

I got dressed quickly under Bella's heated gaze. After a long kiss, we finally parted after promises to see each other alone sooner than later. Tomorrow was our traditional class rendez-vous and since Bella had entered my life, Tuesdays and Wednesdays had become my favorite days of the week.

When I came back home, I noticed that the front door was left slightly ajar and was immediately intrigued. Mom was very conscious about safety and wouldn't do that so that left only one option. My guess was the right one. I found Emmett and Rosalie sprawled on the couch and sucking each other's tonsils.

I cleared my throat, just to annoy my little brother. It was very comical how they jumped from each other, a little shriek coming from both of them. I stopped laughing when I realized that it could have been Bella and me earlier. We really had to be more careful from now on.

"Hi Edward…" Rosalie mumbled shyly. Curious, I'd never have pegged her for a shy girl. Emmett looked at her, surprised as well.

"Rosalie…" I answered. She fidgeted under my gaze.

"You won't tell, won't you?"

"About what?" I asked, confused.

"About Emmett and me…"

"What, are you ashamed of me or something?" Emmett interjected, his voice hurt.

"No, it's not that at all. I's just I'm not supposed to be dating until my 16th birthday and it's not until July. Dad is pretty strict about that." I smiled because I could relate.

"Don't worry, I won't say a word. You should go though, our mother is going to be back from the supermarket soon and finding you two here unsupervised, hmm…that won't go well."

She gasped and gathered her stuff quickly before kissing Emmett one last time and disappearing through the door.

My brother was left there, with a stupid grin on his face. Did I look like that after seeing Bella? Probably worse.

"Well, my plan worked. Did yours?" Emmett asked curiously.

"Yes, it did." I couldn't help but laugh after Emmett yelled "Fuck yes!" but quickly came to my senses.

"Emmett, you absolutely must understand the seriousness of our situation. We must remain a complete secret until the year is over and until I'm eighteen. Got it, bro? You mustn't say anything, even to Rosalie." I stated, my face stern. He had to understand or it would be a disaster.

"Edward, what kind of idiot do you take me for?" He retorted, his voice offended.

I sighed. It coudn't be about his ego. "Look, I know you're not an idiot but reckless things like you did last time with fake movie night mustn't happen again. I'm sorry to burden you like this but I beg you, Emmett, it's so important."

He looked at me, a smile on his face.

"I would never jeopardize something that's worth so much to you, Edward. You and Mom are my only family now…" He gaves me an awkward hug and swore that he'd be quiet as a tomb.

When I went to French the next day, I was practically giddy and had to plaster a neutral, almost bored expression on my face. The same one all of the other students in the class were displaying. Teenagers could really be assholes sometimes.

The lesson was particularly interesting today. I'm not just saying that because of the theme, though Victor Hugo's work is very rich and varied but my hormonal body didn't care about that. It only saw Bella's tight black skirt and the maddeningly teasing white blouse she was wearing. I could almost feel her breasts in my hands. My eyes met hers several times and I tried to convey all my love, all my desire in them. Those moments were precious, even if we had to hide.

After the class, I stayed for a few minutes under the pretense of discussing the project. I even walked with her in the hall, our faces serious and looking very focused. What people didn't know was the subject of our quiet conversation.

"When you entered the classroom, I got an erection just from seeing you." I murmured, my eyes on her, while showing her a sketch I'd done for the project.

"Fuck…"She whimpered lowly. She pretended to look at the drawing but I could see her hands shaking when they took the paper. "Edward…"

"And when you got closer to me, I smelled you and I wanted to lick you all over." I didn't know where my boldness was coming from. I never used to be like this.

"I wish you would, one day…" She whispered. She looked at me then and her gaze was so hot I got burned. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, feeling wanted like this.

"Oh, I will. I will lick you from head to toes, Ms. Swan. And you know where I'll stay the longest, don't you?"

"Yes…" she moaned quietly, her hand clutching the sketch like a life raft.

"I'll do it too, you know. Lick you. And guess what my favorite part would be." She teased, making me grow again. Even more. Like rock hard.

This was a dangerous game we played often but I loved it. We were very careful and nobody cared about a literature project. Being with her like this, exposing ourselves was risky and delicious at the same time. And knowing we could fool everyone was an extra rush.

Bella gasped suddenly, making me jump. Her eyes were directed to the teachers' room door not far from us and as I followed her gaze, I saw Mr. Grant observing us with a strange expression. When he waved Bella over with a dry "I need to talk to you", I knew we were in huge trouble.

**Yes, a cliffie…Leave me your thoughts! **


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, dear readers. Five words for you: be prepared, fluffiness is over! Well, not completely…See you at the end :).**

James had the strangest expression on his face, a mixture of worry and anger. I didn't like it and could feel stress gripping my spine like claws. I quickly told Edward that I'd see him later and followed my colleague inside the empty teachers' break room.

We sat in the comfy chairs in a secluded corner. James visibly wanted us not to be disturbed. My heart started pounding against my ribs. I was maybe paranoid but in my guts, I knew something was terribly wrong. I decided to put my big girl panties. Better the truth out than in, I reasoned.

"So, what's up James?" I tried for casualness and plastered a fake smile on my face.

"You tell me…" He muttered. His eyes were on me, his jaw clenched.

"What do you want me to tell you?" I asked, my voice starting to break already. James sighed and his expression contained more compassion than anger now.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?" He clasped his hands together and leaned towards me. "You want to get in trouble or what?"

"What are you talking about?" I tried to delay the inevitable for as long as I could but he knew, I was sure of it.

"Edward Cullen? You have a crush on a student? Don't even try to deny it…" He raised his hand before I could even start to protest. "It's written all over your face."

"You're ridiculous…" I scoffed. The battle was over but it didn't mean I'd go out without a bang.

"I don't think so, no. First, you're working with him during the week end, and now he walks you out of your class?"

"We're working on a project, I told you that." I tried, desperate.

"Yes, I know about the project. But there's definitely more, I can feel it."

"How can you be so sure?" I whispered, my voice defeated. I must have looked pale as a ghost. I felt so weak.

"Because that happened to me, that's how!" He exclaimed before slumping back in his chair.

I just sat there, stunned. James, usually so composed, so cocky even was rubbing his hands all over his face frantically and not even hiding his agitation.

"I used to teach in San Diego, a few years back. I was young, inexperienced. On my first day, I met the girl who'd change my whole life. Her name was…Jane. She was so pretty, so sweet. She won me over with her smile. I fell for her, body and soul. She said she loved me and I believed her. I thought she was the sun." He smiled miserably and quickly wiped tears from his eyes.

"What happened?" I managed, gulping. I could tell the story had a bad ending.

"We started seeing each other, secretly. At my house, mostly. We were as discreet as possible, never interacting at school, never looking at each other. It wasn't enough though. One day, one of Jane's mother's friends saw us at my door, kissing. She reported me the next day to the school."

His eyes were brimming with tears and his face was red with the effort he put in telling me this. I could feel his humiliation, his shame.

"I had a meeting with the Principal and Mrs….well, her mother. You should have seen the look on her face. She looked livid, like she really wanted to hurt me. Jane was only seventeen so she really could have. Thankfully, the Principal managed to find a deal so the consequences wouldn't be too terrible for either of us." He sighed, bracing himself for the next part.

"He told me he could find me a job in a lost little town and basically save my life, as long as I never spoke to Jane again, never tried to contact her. I had to apologize to her mother, practically drag myself at her feet. And Jane…God, I can't do this…" He started crying quietly. He broke my heart then. Nothing is more painful than seeing a man cry.

"Jane said that she had never really wanted this, that I had been a bad influence on her. I don't know…I probably was. That she hadn't reported me before because I was a good teacher and she didn't want me to be in trouble." He raised his eyes on me and blew a trembling breath.

"She never was honest with me. So, please don't fall for the bullshit too and find yourself in trouble, please Bella."

I was lost, completely. I understood James' view more than he knew because the torture he had lived through was everything I dreaded when I fell for Edward. The inquisition, the mother's wrath, the career threats. On the other hand, Jane sounded like a cruel bitch to me, one of those girls always ready to add another trophy to their conquests. Even in my confused state of mind, I knew that Edward was anything but a womanizer. Yes, he was gorgeous and yes, he had me wrapped around his little finger but he would never take advantage of me like that.

I was brought back to the moment when James put his hand on mine. His eyes were begging me to understand.

"What is your relationship with the boy, Bella?" He murmured.

"We are seeing each other." I admitted, blushing. It felt good to say it, even under the circumstances.

"Have you slept with him?" He asked harshly.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, we haven't." I retorted. "Are you going to report us?"

James started to laugh then. A deep, painful laugh, hiding the tears that were still threatening to fall from his eyes.

"Bella, how little do you know me? Do you see me doing something like that? I just want you to be careful, sweetie. Don't let him ruin your life like she ruined mine."

"He won't ruin my life, he'll save me. He's the only thing making sense in my existence." I choked. James smiled sadly, shaking his head.

"And your life isn't ruined. You met someone, didn't you? You can be happy again." I added.

"Yes, she's great. But don't let it fool you. I'm forever changed by this. He's the same as her, Bella, can't you see that?"

I looked at him, straight in the eyes. He needed to understand too.

"No, he's not. I know you think I'm biased, but it's true. He's wonderful and not at all like that little slut. I'm sorry you had to go through this but trust me on this. He is a good person." He sighed deeply.

"If you say so…Please be careful sweetie, ok?"

"I promise."

**No, you're not dreaming, no cliffie today ;)! The reason is that my next update won't be until after Christmas so I didn't want to leave you hanging. Merry Christmas, everyone, MWAH! Steph**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: I wish you all a very Happy New Year! A new chapter to celebrate :).**

The week passed quickly. We were now in April and my birthday was a little more than a month away. Bella had reassured me about her conversation with Mr. Grant but I must say I was more than a little worried. What if he was bluffing and decided to turn us in? After all, he was a teacher and should be logically shocked by our relationship. I also had to admit that I still didn't trust him, since he had taken her on a date.

Our current situation was not the only thing weighing on my mind recently. I could see that my mother still had a hard time coping with Dad's death. She looked really depressed and anxious about the smallest things. When I mentioned it to her, she got really fidgety and retorted she didn't want to see a therapist anymore. I was surprised, considering she and Dr. Masen seemed to get along just fine before. Emmett and I kept an almost constant watch on her, we were so worried.

I had very little time to spend with my love. It was probably better anyway. The whole Mr. Grant incident had scared us both and we tried to be more careful around each other. Without any other free moment to spare, I enjoyed Bella's presence as much as I could in class. I knew her smiles and tender eyes were only meant for me, as was her blush. She could make it pass for embarrassment when Tyler Crowley paid her compliments but I knew. It was my smirk and the fire in my eyes that caused it.

On Sunday night, we were at home, in front of the TV when there was a soft knocking at the door. Emmett was the one closest to it so with a deep sigh, he went to open while grumbling about our laziness to move. After a week of intense work and stress, it felt good to spend a quiet night with my family. I knew Mom liked it when the three of us were together, and I did too.

When I heard who was at the door though, my whole body woke up.

"Miss Swan?" Emmett's curious voice asked.

"Emmett, hi. I'd like to speak to Edward, if he's not busy of course."

Alerted by the visitor's voice, Mom got up and I followed her, as nonchalantly as I could. It was hard to keep a poker face when I saw her however. All delicious and sexy in a simple white wool dress. I barely repressed a whimper. I had missed her so much.

"Miss Swan! What a delightful surprise. Come in, we have tea ready, would you like some?" Mom asked, her voice animated.

Bella seemed to hesitate for a second but she finally nodded with a smile.

"Yes, thank you Mrs. Cullen, with pleasure. I'm sorry to come here uninvited but I really needed to see Edward." She finished, quietly.

"Is there a problem…Miss Swan?" I managed. I had almost called her Bella. In front of Mom.

"No, don't worry. Just something I wanted to run by you about our project." She said noncommittally. I know I shouldn't be bothered because we had to keep up appearances but I was.

"Alright." I muttered. "Do you want to go…talk about it upstairs?" I saw her swallowing and promptly swiped a grin from my face. I affected her. It made me feel strangely proud and worthy.

"Edward!" Mom admonished. "Where are your manners? Have a tea first, Miss Swan."

She graciously sat in one of the armchairs and chatted with Mom, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. It warmed my heart to see them like this, getting along like two friends. Maybe there was hope for the two of us, even if Mom disagreed at first. Who was I kidding? She'd kill us both if she knew.

After about ten minutes of conversation that felt like hours to me, we finally went up to my room. I didn't know how to act. Days apart from the one you love will do that to you. I shouldn't have worried.

"God, I missed you so much!" Her whisper was hot in my ear and her arms pulled me to her in such a possessive manner I could have cried.

"Me too, baby…" I choked. "So much." I added before pulling her to my anxious lips.

It still surprised me that I was capable of giving myself totally like this. The passion was undeniable with Bella. Our kiss quickly turned heated and almost furious, like we were trying to compensate for lost time. Quiet moans and breathy sighs passed from her to me like we were just one until we both had to pull away for air.

"I wanted to see you and I didn't know what else to do…" Bella panted, her mouth on my neck.

"I'm sorry, I had to take care of my mom this week. She seems troubled and it worries me, well us."

"Edward, you never have to apologize for that. It's great of you to spend time with her, after that horrible ordeal. How are you doing?" She added, her hands cupping my face lovingly.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." I simply said, kissing her pure forehead.

"You…you know you can talk to me, right? I'm here if you need me." She murmured nervously.

"I know you are but I don't want to talk about that right now." I answered.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Did you receive my texts this morning?" It was my turn to be nervous because she hadn't answered me. Her expression changed completely and a naughty smile stretched her lips.

"Oh, yes I did. That's actually the reason for my presence." She said, her tone sultry. I shivered and felt the need to clear my throat.

"Really? Wh-why is that?" I stammered.

"Tsk, tsk Edward. Teasing me like this, that wasn't nice of you." She started kissing my neck.

"T-teasing?" God, she had reduced me to a quivering mess.

"Yes, ." _Oh, fuck_. "Promising to pleasure me with your tongue is teasing, promising to give me your cock as a popsicle is teasing." She moaned and I almost came hearing her saying those things.

"Edward…I have to go but you should know something."

"What?" I squeaked.

"I love popsicles." And with that, she was out of the door.

She left me panting, my forehead pressing on the door frame. I heard her saying goodbye to Emmett and Mom, and just as I was preparing to go back downstairs, I heard her uttering these magic words.

"I asked Edward to come by my house tomorrow after school if you don't mind. We need to work."

I loved homework.

**Hi everyone, I know it took me a long time to deliver this chapter. Sorry about that. Two reasons:**

**-One, I was very busy eating more than humanly possible and getting pampered during the holidays.**

**-Two, I had a little inspiration problem as I'm sure most authors do.**

**It's better now though :). I'm going to start a new story soon called "Bitter little girl" and am very excited about it. I also completed my other story "Last interview in Paris", check it out if you haven't.**

**That AN was loooonnnggg…**


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Here we are, Bella, Edward and myself! Enjoy...and leave me some reviews :).**

I must admit I was surprised by my own foolishness. Showing up at his house, uninvited and on a whim was very risky. I could not bring myself to regret it though. A few texts and languid eyes between us were becoming more and more frustrating. My body craved him and so did my heart. An ache so powerful it erased my proverbial wisdom made me forget about everything else but seeing him, holding him, kissing him. After receiving those naughty messages earlier in the day, I'd had to take care of myself, several times, but it was never enough. Nothing but him was enough.

I felt very guilty and uneasy under Esme Cullen's gaze. I felt a connection with her and it really bothered me to deceive her that way. Sometimes, I felt overwhelmed by shame in the privacy of my house and was almost tempted to call it off with Edward. Yet, one look at him, one kiss from him and any idea I'd had of ending it would vanish like dew under the sun. I knew in the bottom of my heart that, were we discovered, they'd have to pry me away from him because there was no way I could do that voluntarily. That was why, even though I respected the woman and felt bad for betraying her, I couldn't not be with her son.

Said son was supposed to join me tonight at home, far from everyone else's prying eyes. We took precautions, Edward always parking far from the house and our project work seemed to be enough to appease Esme. The truth was, we had to work a little and keep appearances since Mr. Banner regularly asked me how far we were. The project was almost finished now and would be presented in a few weeks, right before graduation. And also right before Edward's birthday. May 13th couldn't come soon enough. Sometimes, I wanted to say the hell with that and give myself to him completely but this rule was the last one we both stuck to, the last thread of reason we clung to. I felt like I was insane with love and lust and didn't want to lose that safety net, as silly as it may look.

He knocked softly at the door and my heart started pounding. It did every time he was in the vicinity, even in class. It was sometimes hard to focus on the subject taught, let me tell you.

He entered, quiet as a cat, and blinded me for a minute, as he always did. I know looks are not important if you love a person but I was blessed in that area. My love was the most gorgeous guy to ever walk this Earth and I still wondered by which miracle he had noticed me when there were so many pretty girls at school. Then I remembered he loved me and I sighed happily, like the big dummy that I was.

His arms surrounded me immediately, recreating that bubble of warmth that I loved so much. I was attuned to his every move, every vibration of his body, every wave of his gorgeous scent. How could I ever want anyone else?

"I love you…" He rasped, showering little kisses that drove me crazy with want all over my face, the last ones at the corner of my lips.

I couldn't do anything but whimper and breathe multiple whispers of love while he kept reminding me why I was his willing slave for life. No man could ever come close.

"I can't wait for your birthday to come, baby." I whispered in his ear, making him smile and kiss me chastely.

"Is that all I get?" I pouted like a 5-year-old. I didn't want chaste, I wanted passion and I knew he could deliver.

"Don't worry, I'll get to the point in a moment." He said, demonstrating his words by wrapping my butt shamelessly in his hands and pushing his hips against mine. It was so sensual and graceful that I stayed completely dazed, my mouth open and my eyes closed.

"Huh?" I replied brilliantly. Edward chuckled.

"I just wanted to know how long we had because I don't want to be disturbed." He said, his voice low and gritty. I shivered when his warm fingers slipped under my jeans and started teasing my panties.

"Why, do you have something special planned?" I teased, loving him even more when he was a bit dirty like this.

"Hmm, yes…" He murmured, his eyes twinkling. "Something very special. You didn't answer my question, baby."

"Charlie just left, for the night shift. How long do you have?" I asked, frustrated that he couldn't spend the night here.

"A few hours. I'm supposed to be back for bed time." He smiled.

"Mmm, bed time…" I was a pile of mush when he was here, unable to have the simplest conversation without my thoughts in the gutter.

"Can you feed me tonight, baby?"

"Absolutely. In more ways than one."

After that, we couldn't be restrained. Between heavy sessions of kissing and petting, we managed to find our way to my bedroom where we got rid of our clothes as if they burned us. For the second time, I saw Edward naked and couldn't contain my awe at his magnificence. His own eyes did a lot of roaming and as his lips captured mine once more, I felt his cock hardening against my stomach. No sensation could compare to this one. Absolute, undiluted lust seized me and I would have loved to throw caution to the wind and impale myself on him at that moment. The last shreds of reason I possessed restrained me and I pushed him roughly on the bed, panting.

No words were needed. As I crawled my way up his body, I saw his eyes closing in ecstasy, his hands gripping the sides of the bed. I slowly lowered myself on him and started on his nipples, lightly kissing and nipping them, provoking a low erotic moan.

I was not a patient woman but I wanted to give him as much pleasure as possible so I took my time, adoringly licking and sucking every inch of his torso and worshipping his happy trail. With each pass of my tongue, his noises got louder. I was very wet and throbbing, excited by his sight and his sounds.

Finally, finally, I kept my promise and started using Edward's cock as a lollipop. Licking was one thing but when I started sucking, he turned to moaning to practically screaming. I tried to alternate, slow and fast, creating the most delicious torture for him and myself. Edward's breathing turned to little puffs, half choked as if he was in pain. I could feel him hardening and swelling even more, making me hum in pleasure.

"Bella, Bella!" He cried out.

"What?" I mumbled around his cock.

"I'm…ah…gonna…come! Fuck!" He shouted when I bit him, very lightly. With regrets, I pulled him completely out of my mouth.

"So come. I want you to come." I said nonchalantly.

"Where?" He asked, confused. I decided torture had lasted long enough.

"Here."

With that, I took him in my mouth again and slowly licked his slit. In seconds, I felt him pulsing and I greedily swallowed every stream he gave me. His screams were muffled by his own hand, pinned on his mouth.

He finally came back to Earth after a few minutes, his eyes shining and the sexiest, most satisfied smile on his face. He grabbed me and pulled me up to him.

Then, he turned me around and spread my legs. Wide.

"My fun now."

**He he…Did you like it? I sure did ^^!**


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Are you ready for the second part? I think Bella is writhing a little over there ;)…**

In all my almost eighteen years, I never thought I'd end up on a bed, tangled in sheets, totally naked and spent from the most intense orgasm known to mankind. Never thought said orgasm would have been given by the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and my teacher no less. I've said it before but this relationship I have with Bella is completely out of character for me. Passionate love was never supposed to be my destiny. I saw myself with a nice girl, married and kids, content at best. My parents had been this kind of couple and they were happy. Why not me?

Yet, here I was, in totally uncharted territory. Hovering over her body and savoring the anticipation of what I'd wanted to do since I met her. Taste her, drink her like a beggar dying of hunger and thirst. Because that's what I felt, that I would implode if I my lips didn't devour her skin soon. She had a flushed look on her face and parted lips that made me think she was not far from me on this. Her thighs started trembling under my impatient hands and I knew then. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. We were meant to be together that way. It should have been obvious but it wasn't until this moment.

I was in the dark here but I decided that following my instinct and Bella's reactions would be the right way to go. So I started with her tempting and velvety mouth. It opened under my lips, her tongue wrapping sensually around mine, giving me goose bumps already. My body was on fire again and I could feel my cock stirring. Practically tearing myself from her and despite her whimpers, I attacked her neck, sucking and nibbling, not even caring about the love bites I was sure to give her. She'd have to wear a turtleneck in April. She didn't seem to mind much, her wordless moaning getting louder and louder.

Her skin smelled delicious, a mysterious and womanly scent I never wanted to decrypt but craved to never leave. I was in a trance and I felt delirious with happiness. When I felt her hands in my locks, viciously pulling, I groaned and continued my descent, worshipping both her breasts with equal voracity. I would have thought this to be weird but it wasn't. It was so intense and so sexy to see her heaving under my ministrations, to hear her gasps and sighs of pleasure.

I took my time kissing her stomach, lightly blowing on her belly button and making her laugh breathlessly. And after a second of hesitation, my tongue followed her pubic bone. For the first time, she stopped me.

"If you don't want to do this, I understand you know…Don't feel obliged." She murmured.

My eyes widened with incredibility. Did she really believe I felt like I had to do this?

"You know, for a smart woman, you can say really stupid things."

And then, I dove. Kissing was not enough so I licked. She moaned. It still didn't satisfy me so I sucked. She whimpered violently, thrashing and shaking. I wanted her to completely lose her mind so I entered her with my tongue, drinking at her fountain and pressed her clit with my thumb, firmly. She came like I did, her hands muffling the sounds of her screaming.

I took her in my arms while she calmed down. My body was now throbbing with renewed desire and my cock was practically begging me to fuck Bella on every surface available in the place. Fast, slow, hard, soft. However I could be with her, I'd take it.

I didn't think I could wait a month. I wanted to have her.

Right the fuck now.

**Yes, I know you hate me right now but I promise, next chapter will be posted this week end. Sorry this one was short but I had very little time and I thought you'd like it ;). Leave me your thoughts…**


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: The chapter we've all been waiting for...I'll be shutting up now ;)!**

The pleasure had been so intense my head was still spinning. Not in a bad way though, spinning like after a great dance or drinking slightly too much. That's what it felt like really, like I was drunk on him and never wanted to get sober again. My whole body was still vibrating, still screaming without a sound for him to touch it again. My right hand clutched his shoulder possessively, wanting still.

It seemed I wasn't the only one who couldn't get enough. He slid up on top of me and I knew then that today would be the day. No more unimportant rules, no more restrictions. Bring me accusations, prison, unemployment, who the hell cared? When he looked at me like that, I would have died for him, died for him to be inside me.

His eyes were two endless oceans of yearning, begging me to understand. Oh, how I understood. I was forever fascinated by their depth, the way they changed colors when he was turned on, or emotional. They were practically black now and devouring me. They were followed by his lips, his hands all over me. I was a panting, lusty mess once again. I could have stopped everything now, played the reasonable one, the knowing one but then, I felt him, hard against my thigh. An unstoppable warmth, a wave of desire totally overwhelmed me. It was like I wasn't myself anymore, and I was happy about it.

"I don't know about you but…" Edward stammered, his green orbs locked on my face, his hands titillating my breasts. I hissed.

"What? What did you want to say?" I knew what he wanted, I just needed him to verbalize it. He had to say the words.

"I know we have rules, we need to be careful but…I don't want to stop, Bella, I can't." He ended in a whisper, his cheeks red, his eyes closed in embarrassment.

"Edward, look at me. Baby…please." I said, softly kissing his chin.

"You hate me, don't you?" He choked.

"What?" I exclaimed, shocked beyond measure that he could even think that. "Why are you saying that?"

"Because we said we would be strong, we would wait but I'm so weak…I want to be with you all the time. I don't want us to hide anymore…and I want to be inside you so fucking much…"

I melted, a puddle of goo under him. I pulled him to me, kissing him with all the force and passion I could muster. We lost ourselves in that kiss, we lost ourselves in each other. After minutes, I pulled away slightly, wanting to make things clear.

"You're not alone in this, I want that too. I can't wait anymore…" I managed, my breath short. It was complete madness, but I wouldn't censor myself anymore. If he wanted me, he would have me. Just the idea of the two of us joined made me wriggle against the sheets.

"How much time do we have?" He whispered, his hips rolling against mine slowly, driving me crazy.

"Enough time before you need to go back home. I want you Edward, please…"

"I have nothing…"He stammered.

I slid out from under him, quickly reaching for my night stand and took out what we needed from the drawer. Edward looked at me, a mixture of surprise and lust on his face.

"Prepared, weren't you?" He said with a smirk.

"Does that bother you?" I retorted with a smile of my own, slowly caressing his gorgeous ass, making him moan and bite his beautiful lips.

"N-no…I want you, ungh…" He was reduced to a mess and I was even worse than him, arching so I could finally feel him on my sex.

My impatient hands tried to calm down but had a hard time doing so, helping him to put on the condom.

"Edward, do it now, baby, I'm going to explode…" I panted, pushing him even closer to me, desperate to feel him everywhere.

With a grunt coming from both our mouths, he finally pushed into me. It felt better than anything I had ever known, multiplied by a million. Warm, thick and just right, just him.

His eyes were wide, watching me, his mouth open just a little, exhaling slowly. He didn't move for a few seconds, adjusting and discovering the feeling of being inside.

"How does it feel?" I choked out, wanting him so much more now.

"So good, so good, so good…" He chanted, starting to move a little. My hands had a mind of their own, exploring his back, his ass, the top of his thighs.

"Please, Edward, move…more, baby please." I whispered, lost in the vision of him above me.

He complied, pulling out slowly and pushing in again, creating a delicious languid rhythm. I knew he didn't want to go too fast, that he wanted to last. It made me love him even more.

"How…does…it…feel…for …you?" He groaned, between some more torturous thrusting.

"Fuck…you feel wonderful. Try a little faster, ah, please, ah…" His presence around me, inside me was all that existed. It completely erased the outside world. Me and him.

"Faster…yes, faster…" He said, pinning his hips against mine, going deeper. My moans grew louder.

His rhythm sped up then, his thrusts getting more aggressive and less gentle. His hands were gripping the pillows, as if he was holding on for dear life. I admired him, his beautiful and lean torso, his nervous muscles, his stomach and his happy trail, brushing against me with each pass.

"Is…that better?" He panted. I almost laughed. Better was the understatement of the year. It felt delicious, provocative and completely addictive.

"Yes, keep going…unngh…fuck!" I exclaimed when he started thrusting even more deeply, his own groans pushing me even more towards ecstasy.

"Edwar…" I choked. "I'm going to…"

He started pounding me into the mattress, moaning that he was going to come as well. When he half collapsed on top of me, thrusting erratically now and pushing himself against my clit even more, my orgasm seized me in an iron fist, sending me to a white and black oblivion. Moans and screams invaded my ears and I realized they were coming from the both of us.

Edward thrusted a couple more times and tensed, stilling above me before spilling inside.

"Unnghhh…Bella, I love you."

"I love you too, baby." I stammered, kissing him wherever I could.

He had wrapped me in his arms and he was still inside of me. I snuggled in his warmth.

"Was I a good student, Miss Swan?" He teased. I swatted his sweet ass.

"You got an A." I retorted, delighted to hear his laughter.

**I know some of you will feel disappointed that they didn't wait but they couldn't anymore. Neither could I ;). Tell me how you feel about it. I'll be in the corner, smoking a cigarette…**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Has Edward regained his strength? Let's see ;)...**

I never understood what the expression « shit eating grin » really meant until tonight. See, I'm deeply and desperately in love with Bella but I'm also and first and all, a male teenager. Having great sex during my first experience and making my woman come is probably one of the greatest achievements I could imagine.

The only thing that could ruin this moment is the fact we don't have all the time we want to enjoy it. Always creeping in the shadows is the threat that everything could be revealed, that Bella's father could barge into this room or that my mom or Mr. Banner could get suspicious. Even though I know those are possibilities, the joy I'm currently feeling is completely irrepressible and powerful.

"Do you want to take a shower?" Her sweet voice reaches me through my happy fog. I stretch lazily and smile at her. Still goofy, I'm afraid.

"Are you this hasty to get up? Or do you want to get rid of me?" I tease. Her maddening curves come even closer to me, her right leg ensnaring my thigh so tightly I lose my voice and my reason for a moment.

"No…" she moans when I cup her ass and grind myself against her. I can feel my dick slowly get hard again. "I was thinking we could have one…you know, together." Yes, little Edward is definitely awake from the nap he just took.

"Yes, a shower would be perfect, baby…" I sigh when I feel her lips, raining little kisses on my shoulder.

"Wait…" she says, her voice suddenly alarmed, her eyes worried. "Won't your mom find it weird that you took a shower at your teacher's house?"

"Don't worry, I told her I might go to Ben's after finishing…our project." She smiles.

"And what, do you usually wash at Ben's?"

"We play basketball together sometimes." I explain, caressing her silky hair, all tousled from our earlier activities.

"Still it will be strange for you to smell like vanilla shower gel, won't it?" She insists, her anxiety written all over her face.

"I brought mine, baby. Don't worry, ok? I'd really, really, really like to take that shower with you." I say, thrusting a little more forcefully against her body with each "really".

"You want to kill me, Edward…" she breathes, her chest already heaving a little.

"Yes, but in the best way possible." I coo in her ear.

"Shower. Now." She orders, pulling me with her to the bathroom.

"I need my shower gel, baby. I'll be right back." I nonchalantly get out of the bathroom, then of the bedroom, completely naked. I can feel her eyes on me. The woman seems to like my ass. It's ok, I'm an ass guy myself. Well, you know what I mean.

After I grab the bottle from my backpack, I waste no time joining my baby back in the bathroom. We only have a couple of hours left together and I don't want to waste a minute of them. She's about to get in the shower and her back faces me. Her perfect creamy back with those little dimples I want to devour. I can't help but lick my lips, starving man that I am.

She yelps, laughing delightfully when my arms encircle her waist, our bodies fused again. Well, not as fused as I'd like them to be but maybe that can be arranged. If Bella's panting breath is a clue, I'd say my chances are pretty good. The water is now pouring on both of us, turning Bella into a glistening siren. She turned in my arms and we are kissing each other, nipping teasingly at the other's mouth.

"Can I ask you something?" She whispers, abandoning my pouting lips.

"Ask away…"

"Did you like it? What we did earlier?" Her voice is small and a little shaky. My surprise equals my shock.

"Did I like it?" She nods, her expression unsure.

"No, I didn't like it, Bella." I say, keeping my voice as neutral as I can.

"You didn't…" She stammers, her eyes closing. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm not that good…"

This little self-lashing has lasted long enough.

"I loved it, I absolutely loved it, Bella, can't you see that?" I plead feverishly, doing my best to convince her. "It was the best first experience ever." I bury my face in her long hair, breathing her scent and praying she believes me.

Her relieved little sigh is the best sound I've heard in my life, apart from her moaning right before she came in my arms.

"You did, huh?" I shake my head.

"How could you think I didn't? You were there too, weren't you?" Her smile is shy and blinding at the same time. She's such a girl, this woman. My girl, my woman.

"Well, maybe I need more convincing." Game on. My lips twitch. Other parts of me too.

"Convincing? I can do that." My arms grip her thighs, almost viciously. It seems I have a very possessive nature. Who knew?

"But I thought you liked it because it was your first experience." She says, gasping and teasing me.

"It seems I need a second one, to compare." I grunt. "Condom, baby, quick…"

She blindingly takes one from the medicine cabinet, not far from us. Our movements are frenzied, the desire too strong to be quenched by soft and tender tonight. When we're both ready, I position her and lower her on me. It feels so good we both close our eyes, moaning our relief like two mindless creatures.

She rides me. There's no other word for it. She takes her pleasure and gives it too. My hands are displayed on her sweet and firm ass, ensuring she doesn't fall. She completely possesses me, her legs that imprison my body in the sweetest way and the way she grips me from inside make me pant like I'm deprived of air.

I'm surprised by the sensations of sex. The way our skins slap against each other, the wetness, the crudity of it. I love it all, immensely. And the fact that I can share it with Bella is so overwhelming I have to bite my lip violently not to come right now. Bella's moans are turning into raw whimpering now.

"So, what do you think of your second experience?" She asks between the noises we make.

"Better and better…" I manage, angling my dick so that it goes even deeper inside. She seems to appreciate my efforts and screams. Loudly.

"Please, tell me you're close…" I beg. "Because I'm ready to come so hard, baby."

That does it. She clenches and comes on me, swearing like a soldier. I love how unrestrained she gets during those moments. I release inside her, ecstasy flashing its million stars behind my eyelids.

We definitely need a shower now.

**Enjoy the fun while it lasts, dear readers…See you next week! In the meantime, give me your thoughts.**


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Ok, this chapter is the last one that sees our two lovers happy and carefree. The road is getting bumpy, guys…A little shameless self-pimping here ;), come and check out my new story, "Bitter little girl" and tell me what you think.**

"Dinner was delicious, baby." Edward moans just after swallowing the last bit of his curry chicken. I'm proud of my cooking skills on a regular basis but let's face it, Edward complimenting me has me beaming and blushing like a school girl. I've really got it bad.

"Thanks. You need to leave soon, right?" I hear my voice lower and the sad tone it takes when I ask the dreaded question. He sighs, his burning green eyes on me.

"Yes, in about ten minutes. I'm sorry, I wish I could stay."

I nod minutely, aware that I must look ridiculous right now. I knew from the start it would be difficult but now that we made love, it's like someone is tearing me apart. I never want to leave him. I'm completely cock whipped, in more ways than one. And pathetic, let's not forget pathetic.

"I know, Edward. Don't worry about me, it's just …" I mumble.

"Incredibly hard and painful to leave you." He finishes and the same small and fake smile that took possession of my lips is on his face.

He looks like he's right here with me, deliriously happy and tortured at the same time. I suddenly feel very guilty about our whole relationship, thinking I've trapped him somehow.

"What do you think is going to happen now?" I anxiously ask, nervously biting my thumb nail, a habit I have developed over the years.

His expression slowly changes and his eyes charge with worry, even though he still tries to smile. I knew what he was doing, trying to reassure me that everything would be fine, that we could overcome the obstacles thrown our way. I knew that because I was trying to convince myself every day.

"As long as no one knows about us, we should be fine. When I turn eighteen and the year is over, we won't have to hide anymore." He tries to sound confident but I understand his doubts.

"Edward, I want you to be honest with me, ok? If this is all too much, we can stop it, at least for a while." I keep my head low, not wanting to see his reaction. Especially if he looks relieved, I know I couldn't stand it and probably break down in front of him.

"It's too bad we don't have much time left because…" He sighs, a shaking breath. "Please, look at me."

Our eyes meet again, this time naked and honest. There's no pretending anymore, just him and me and our impossible story.

"I want you to know that whatever happens, whatever comes in our way, I'll never stop doing one thing. Even if life changes everything for us, I love you deeply and nothing can change that." He speaks lowly, his hands gently holding and caressing mine.

"You say that now but you don't know what's ahead of us." I retort, my eyes blurry with tears. He's such a wonderful person.

"Do you? Look, I need to go baby, but let me ask you something before I do."

"Yes?" I whisper.

"Do you love me? Don't lie to me." His hands release mine a little and I feel cold.

"I do, I love you so much. You know that, Edward."

"Well, what's more important than that? I have to go, I'm sorry."

He slowly stands up, apologizing again for having to leave so soon. I stop his rambling with a kiss, desperately trying to capture his warmth before he leaves. He kisses me back as roughly and I pull away before we get carried away again. His lips are red and stung and I'm proud for getting them that way. He's mine.

After Edward's gone, I start working on my lessons plans for the week, feeling with good reason that I've come to neglect my job since he entered my life. Once I'm satisfied, I even take time to check out the progress of our project. Slightly panicked, I try and work on it for a couple of hours, sending Edward a text to warn him we need to be prepared in case Banner asks about it. I also tell him I love him because I can't get enough of saying it, even on the phone.

Tuesday morning is my favorite time of the week as usual. Even though we've tried to be careful in the last few weeks, it's always a rush to see him during class. Discreetly absorbing every detail of his face, every gleam in his eyes and catching him do the same thing. I notice that he's a little more included than he was before. Boys don't find him as threatening as in the beginning since he hasn't tried to steal any potential girlfriend and girls, well…Girls openly ogle him, stupidly giggling whenever he happens to look their way. I want to scratch their eyes right out.

He goes out of the classroom, a soft "Bye Miss Swan" as a way to acknowledge me without doing it. He's followed by the infamous Stanley-Mallory duo and tries not to look too miserable about it. As soon as they're out, a loud knocking on the door wakes me from my Edward's trance.

"Alice, hey come in!" I'm actually glad to see her since we never seem to run into each other anymore. I guess she's busy with the mysterious Mr. Whitlock.

"Long time, no see, huh Bella?" She smiles weakly.

"Yes, and whose fault is that? How is Jason?"

"Who?" She frowns, confused.

"Rosalie's dad." I whisper, not taking any chances in case someone is eavesdropping.

"Oh, you mean Jasper? He's great, he's great." She replies distractedly. She looks preoccupied, which is unusual for her.

"Look, Bella. There's something I need to tell you but promise me you won't get angry."

"Ok…" I reply, cautious.

"I talked to James because I was worried about you…"

"Worried? Why?" I try my best to keep my voice calm and controlled.

"Well, I never see you anymore and I know I'm partly to blame for that but I could sense there was something else. James seemed preoccupied and finally told me everything."

"About what?" Oh God, my voice is shaking.

"You know about what, Bella." She answers, her face stern. I gulp.

"I don't know what to tell you, Alice."

"James made me swear not to say anything and I won't, I promise." I sigh deeply with relief.

"Thank you."

"But, Bella? Mr. Banner wants to see you in his office."

"Alright, I'll go. It's probably about the project."

"No, you don't understand. He came inside the break room while we were talking and…I think he heard us, Bella."

**Deep breaths, everyone! You're going to need them ;). I'm sorry about the lateness of this chapter. Too much to do, and a bad case of writer's block. I thought it was a myth…Let me know what you think, I'd like to hear your theories about the end of this story!**


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N**: **I know you're anxious to know so here it is…Be prepared: tea, stuffed animal, anything to make you feel good :).**

I was lying in bed, the moon casting a soft light in the room. It was one of the most beautiful nights I've ever been lucky enough to witness, the sky clear and full of stars. Everything was quiet, there was not a noise in the house. I felt anything but calm though. My heart was beating a mile a minute and my body was humming with excitement and satisfaction.

My first experience was nothing like I had imagined it. I had always thought it would be a surreal moment, like a figment of my lately very active imagination. It hadn't been though. The sounds, the sensations, the pleasure, all of it had been perfectly real and palpable. Very selfishly, I was very proud I could bring Bella to ecstasy. I guessed the first time was magnified when you were desperately in love with the other person. I never thought I was alone in my feelings but tonight had confirmed it.

It was weird how love could change the perception of the outside world. In a way, when Bella entered my life, she had helped me cope with Dad's death, albeit unconsciously. The strangeness of it all was that she had opened my heart to everything, my former distance melting like butter under the sun. Only now was I realizing the loss we had all been through, the pain Mum and Emmett had unwillingly embraced months ago. Surprisingly, the shock and pain of losing my father reached me during what should have been the happiest period of my life.

I could barely sleep, somehow managed a few minutes of rest during the night but I felt perfectly fine when I got ready for school in the morning. Today was my favorite day, which also included one of my favorite classes of the week. I needed to see her like I needed to breathe because I wanted a proof that last night hadn't been a dream.

After French class, I still had a hard time wiping a smug smile from my face. My Bella looked tired, the good kind of tired. Our activities had not been a dream at all visibly and they had left her as sated as me. Discretion was the key though and I left just with a few soft spoken words, even if all I wanted to do was showing everyone that I was hers and that she was mine.

The day seemed to drag on forever after that. My classes were suddenly boring and uninteresting which kind of shocked me because I was usually a good student. All I could think about was Bella's skin, Bella's scent when I kissed her, her moans and reactions to me. I felt pretty silly, feeling like nothing else mattered anymore. Not that I had been a social butterfly before or anything but my standoffishness was beginning to annoy even Lauren and Jessica, the girls who couldn't get a clue. Usually hanging over me, they gradually were becoming aggressive and I caught them more than once whispering while looking at me suspiciously.

After my last period, I couldn't help but feel disappointed that I didn't get to see Bella again during the afternoon. A quick glance in the hall, a subtle smile or look helped me so much even if they were little gestures. It proved that we were not a sick fantasy, created by my lusty, love starved brain. She loved me.

"Mr. Cullen? May I see you in my office?" A dry voice interrupted my musings and brought me back brutally to reality. Mr. Banner was in front of me, his eyes severe and his arms crossed on his chest.

"Of course, sir." I answered politely. It probably had to do with our poetry project and my heart beat faster at the thought that Bella would maybe be in his office. I didn't understand why he sounded so cold though, he was usually such a warm and nice man.

I was disappointed to see two empty chairs in front of Banner's desk. His office was eerily quiet, the noises from the outside miraculously left at the door. It made me kind of nervous today even if I couldn't understand why yet.

"Sit down, Mr. Cullen." I was more and more surprised by his behavior. I saw no trace of the man I knew and liked.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Banner?" I blurted, decided to solve the mystery.

He sat in front of me, a deep sigh escaping him, his shoulders low. He looked at me with a mix of pity and anger. That made me snap.

"Sorry, sir but you're scaring me, what's the matter?" I asked, my voice more forceful than it should have been when addressing the Principal.

"You put yourself in a fine mess, young man." He declared, defeated. A slight trembling was agitating his hands.

A terrifying feeling of panic and devastation suddenly took control of my body and brain. I could literally feel the cold sweat marking my back. He knew. He knew.

"What…what do you mean by that?" I managed, my eyes trying to focus on the corner of his desk;

"Look at me, Mr. Cullen. I think it's time you face reality, don't you think?" His tone was severe but strangely sympathetic.

"Mr. Cullen, by some revelations earlier today, it was brought to my knowledge that you were having a relationship with one your teachers."

_Protect Bella!_ My mind screamed at me. She could lose everything in this. Her job, her friends, her future. I couldn't allow that.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I answered, as detachedly as I could, praying that my voice wasn't shaking.

"Mr. Cullen, there's really no need to do this." Banner sighed again, his left hand massaging his temples like he was fighting the biggest migraine of his life.

"I really don't know what you're talking about, why should I say otherwise?" I insisted, desperate to convince him.

"Stop lying, Edward! Miss Swan has already told me everything so you see, there's no point."

I felt like he had punched me in the gut. The shock was so violent I had to plaster my hands in front of my mouth to keep from vomiting all over his beige carpet.

"I called her in my office earlier today and confronted her. She confessed everything." Banner looked like he had aged ten years.

I managed to pull myself together enough to catch my breath and stop the nausea feeling. I needed to know.

"What's going to happen to her?" I whispered, my voice raw.

"She quit her job this morning."

**I know, I know. Don't yell at me ;)! Yes, actually, you can do it since it took me forever to update. A lot of RL issues caused the worst writer's block I'd ever known. Things are looking up. I'll try to update soon but with family visiting, it could be a challenge…Please, review!**


	43. Chapter 43

**Deep breaths everyone, it's Bella's turn. I missed you guys but I had a wonderful time with my family :).**

I could feel my whole body shaking. Nervous flutters agitated my stomach as well, stress like I'd never experienced before. I wanted to hate Alice's guts and be angry but that could wait until later. It didn't matter right now. What mattered was surviving and protecting my Edward. He couldn't suffer from my stupidity and irresponsibility. I would suffer the consequences, not him. I'd never allow that.

I entered Banner's office after hearing his soft "Enter". His voice seemed strained and sad, which surprised me. Shouldn't he be mad at me, ready to tear my head off? He just sounded tired.

"Mr. Banner? I heard you wanted to see me, sir." I kept my tone completely neutral. It was hard to be that detached when I was screaming inside.

"Not particularly, but since you're here…" He mumbled, his eyes unfocused, a bitter twist in his mouth.

"I'm afraid I don't understand…" I tried, ashamed of being such a coward.

"DON'T!" He yelled, making me jump. He cleared his throat.

"Don't even bother lying to me. I want the truth, Bella, you hear me?" His voice was softer but still so angry it shook.

"I hear you." I answered, trying desperately to keep calm. It was almost inhumanely hard, my panting breath threatening to betray me.

"Alright, so open your ears then. I don't want to hear a sound out of you right now, are we clear? Just listen to me." He sounded so stern I felt like I was a child, scolded for smoking or stealing. It felt that way even if I knew it was much more serious than that.

"I've always liked you. From the first time I met you, I've always thought you're a very special young woman. I've also always known you were a troubled young woman."

"Mr. Banner…"

"I asked you to listen, so do it. You're in no position to do otherwise anyway."

Feeling chastised, I released a calming breath and held his gaze.

"I'm aware you have a serious and complicated relationship history. Finding something or someone that can fill that void must be overwhelming and believe me, I'm the first one to know how hard it is. Losing my wife was one of the most painful, if not the most painful event of my life. You can never imagine someone you love so much betraying you and when they do, your whole world fades away. It doesn't mean you have to lose yourself in the process. I did for a while and it is not pleasant."

He stopped and heaved a deep sigh, pressing his hands together, bracing himself for the next part.

"Losing the one you loved mustn't have been easy, Bella. I don't know if it was a sort of revenge for you or a way to fight against emptiness but what you did is still incredibly wrong."

I cleared my throat. Tears were threatening to roll on my cheeks but I resisted and didn't let them fall. I needed strength for this.

"Sir, if you're finished, may I say something?"

"I know that I have disappointed you, and for that I am truly very sorry. You've always been very nice to me and I really think you're a good boss."

He managed a weak smile after my praise. Then, he nodded, signaling me to continue.

"What you said could perfectly explain the situation, but the truth, sir is…that's not true. At least, not for me." I was truly shocked at the controlled quality of my voice.

"What do you mean?"

"My relationship was a failure. We were not meant for each other and, even though it's embarrassing to say this, I wasn't in my love with my ex-boyfriend. Not the way I should have been. So, you see…" I gulped, dreading his reaction to what I was going to say. "You see, I wasn't trying to fill the void. I just met the love of my life."

He snorted. His eyes rolled so far I started to think he was about to faint.

"Can you hear yourself? He's nothing more than a child, Bella! Are you blind? Or just completely irresponsible?"

"It appears to be so, sir. Look, there's nothing more to say. You and I will never agree. Just know it wasn't easy and that was not something I decided to do on a whim or to feel better about myself. It was just…inevitable."

"Yes, this is all very nice but we still have a real problem here. Do you realize the seriousness of your situation? If this whole thing came to Mrs. Cullen's ears, it would be a complete disaster. For you and the school."

"You mean you haven't said anything to her?"

"I thought we had established that I liked you. Do you really think I could have done that to you? But, Bella…" He sighed.

"I know, I know. You have to fire me, don't you?" It was surprisingly easy to say the words.

"That's what I should do, yes. My problem is this: on what grounds? If I said the truth, it would jeopardize your whole future and you would have a hard time finding another job."

The kindness of this man never ceased to surprise me. I silently thanked him with a smile.

"So, what should I do then?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"You have to resign."

I left Banner's office, still shocked but feeling a million times lighter. He knew and the world hadn't crumbled around me. Instead, he had helped me making the biggest decision of my life. Leaving a job I was tired of and making a fresh start.

When I entered the house, all quiet and empty, my sudden enthusiasm completely vanished and gave way to an underlying sadness and a terrifying realization. I had no more reasons to see Edward. If I wanted to keep things secret for my sake and his, I could never speak to him again, never meet him apart from the occasional encounter at the supermarket. Maybe I could catch sight of him briefly tomorrow at school where I was supposed to pick up my stuff. And then, that'd be it.

I would lose him. This time, there was nothing I could do to stop my tears.

**Please review, I'd love to know what you think. Trust me when I say it wasn't easy to write…**


	44. Chapter 44

**Thank you all for your wonderful reviews of the last chapter. They made me feel so much better. See you all at the end :). BPOV again…**

My throat felt dry from all the uncontrollable sobbing I did earlier. My eyes were in no better state, swollen and probably awfully red. I didn't want to look. My appearance didn't matter to me, what mattered was the intense feeling of panic growing in me at the mere thought that I'd probably be separated from Edward.

I don't know why I was relieved after the meeting with Banner. I had felt like a child carrying a heavy weight and feeling guilty about it. It had been good to see it in the open. That was my first initial reaction though and it hadn't lasted very long. Now, everything was blurry and confused. The future possessed a menacing and unknown quality that frightened me. The thought of losing the man I loved was completely incapacitating.

I heard the door close loudly, making me jump from my seat in the couch. I had forgotten that Charlie and I were supposed to spend the evening together. I raised my head, swallowed the lump in my throat and quickly wiped the tears once again covering my cheeks. My father didn't need to be involved in this drama I was going through. I needed to get out of it alone, however depressing the end might be.

"Hi, sweetheart! Can you help me with this? I think it's going to fall." I couldn't help but smile at the sight before me. Charlie currently fighting against gravity, carrying a pizza box and three grocery bags was an endearing sight.

"Yes, Dad. Stop moving!" I chuckled, tenderness for my father and the simplicity of his life touching me to my very core. He'd be so disappointed in me, so upset to see he didn't know me at all.

"Thanks sweetie, you know me, I'm not the most coordinated person on the planet." He chuckled, his cheeks suddenly pink. He was embarrassed, why? It was not like I was a graceful woman. I had my clumsy moments, more than I wanted to remember really.

"Here!" I said, catching the pizza that was about to fall. "Thanks for thinking to bring dinner, I was not really in the mood to cook." I tried to keep my voice light and cringed when it broke at the end.

Charlie looked at me, his face worried and suddenly tense. Great, I'd done it again.

"Are you alright Bella? What's wrong, sweetheart?" His softly spoken words broke my brave façade and I could already feel the traitorous tears forming at the corner of my eyes.

"No, it's nothing Dad." I whispered. "I'm just a bit tired." He huffed, shaking his head.

"I know we haven't been that close those last ten years because you had other things in your life…"

"Man, Dad , I had a man in my life. Not a thing." I interrupted, knowing where this was going. Dad was somehow convinced that Jake had done something wrong and I had been a victim in that relationship. I hadn't, we had both fallen out of love with each other.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." He grumbled. "The thing is, we haven't been that close and I can't help but feel that you…I don't know…you're reluctant to tell me things. You know you can talk to me, right? About anything, I'd never judge."

"You say that now but…" I started.

"No, Bella, never. I'm not the most modern man but you can talk to me about everything. You know why? Because, even if you're all grown up, you are my little girl."

"Stop, Dad…You won't understand."

"Well, no, if you don't tell me anything, I can't." He insisted, his eyes stubborn and unusually tender.

I opened my mouth and closed it several times before sighing heavily. How could he understand that? On the other hand, I needed someone to confide in. James was understanding but clearly disapproved and Alice…Well, I didn't even want to think about her now. If she and James had kept their big mouths closed and their judgmental attitude to themselves, I wouldn't be in that situation. Edward and I would maybe have a shot at happiness. Everything was in ruins now.

"What you need to know is what I'm about to tell you must stay between us. Dad, you'll probably be very mad at me after I tell you too. You'll be shocked and you'll judge, I know it."

"Oh, for Christ's sakes, just tell me."

I choked on my words a lot but I ended up telling him pretty much everything. I saw his face fall down and harden as he listened to me. He remained perfectly silent, which was even worse than if he had started yelling at me. When I told him I had been forced to quit, he buried his head in his hands and for the first time, I could hear him talk.

"Oh, no, no, no…" He mumbled.

"Dad…"

"How could you? Are you completely out of your mind? He's a child…"

"I know you think very little of me…"

"Think little of you? I'm just shocked beyond measure, that's what I think, if you must know." He finished, his voice so weak I could barely hear him.

"I understand you don't want to talk to me. I'm going to bed and tomorrow, I'll be out of your hair." I murmured, my eyes lowered, my face burning with the shame of disappointing him. Every child is afraid to lose his parents' respect and I was no exception.

I barely slept that night, battling with myself and hearing Charlie in front of the TV until 3. He finally fell asleep on the couch where I found him in the morning before going to Forks High.

I made myself invisible in the halls, thankfully not seeing anyone I knew at this early hour. I quickly grabbed my books and papers and eying the room where I had worked these last few months. No, no regrets here.

A sob escaped me though, betraying the tension I had been subjected to and the memory, as vivid as ever of the first time I saw Edward. His long body, covered in black, his shy voice and smile. The way he had stolen my heart with his eyes.

I went out like a thief, not even taking time to see Banner. I needed to get out of here before I broke down in front of everyone.

"Bella."

He certainly had the most beautiful voice I had ever heard.

I ran away.

**Do you hate me? Please, don't. I'll update next week :). I'm sorry for taking so long this time. As usual, I want to read your thoughts…**


	45. Chapter 45

**Yes, it's been more than a week, but here it is! Thanks for your reviews, I just love them.**

It was clear to me that Mom suspected something. I trusted Banner's word and knew he wouldn't betray our secret but my obstinate silence since yesterday had alerted her radar. She had stopped her meds and looked happier lately so it was a question of time before she was fully a part of our everyday lives again. On any other occasion, it would have filled me with happiness. Now, I dreaded the mere idea of my mother ever knowing about Bella. She would tear her apart, for my supposed own good.

After Banner's devastating revelations, I had been numb for the rest of the day. I barely could feel my body, barely could function and I had this weird sensation of being half deaf to everything surrounding me. I really tried to act normal when I got back home, not wanting to raise her suspicion, but it was too much for me. I grumbled, pretexting a bad headache and locked myself in my room.

The temptation to call Bella, send her a text, run away to her was so strong I had to remind myself it would be pure madness and only make things worse. I knew she'd have to come back to pick up her things at school so I resigned to bid my time and wait. I didn't sleep a wink, torturing myself with want and regret. I didn't regret loving Bella, not at all but I couldn't help but feel we should have done things differently. Then maybe everything wouldn't have turned into such a disaster. We could have waited until I was eighteen, until it would have been acceptable for us to be together. All those perfectly reasonable arguments that could have justified restraint kept swirling in my brain but were suddenly swept away by a memory.

Her face smiling down at me, the day of my arrival at school, bathing me with warmth while everything else was cold. The unstoppable feeling that I had finally met the one person who could shed light in the darkness of my life had hit me like a train. I shook my head, pushing away the what ifs. We had been together because we never could fight it. We were meant to be, as crazy and abnormal as it might look to other people.

The morning finally came and with it, my anxiety spiked up. What if she didn't show up or what if she left town without saying goodbye? Had I lost her forever? Panic gripped me and I all but dragged Emmett to school. The ride was painfully slow, all the caffeine deprived slow drivers of Forks apparently ganging against me. My brother sensed something was wrong but knew better than to talk to me, my jaw muscle twitching like crazy.

"Don't do anything too rash." He simply warned before I stormed out of the car. I had to find her, tell her to…

My frantic thoughts were cut short when I saw her walking out of the school, shyly lowering her eyes, her arms tightly clutching her books. Her back was to me and I knew she hadn't seen me yet.

I tried to calm myself and advanced as conspicuously as I could. There were not many students but still.

"Bella." I saw her shoulders sag and heard her breathless sigh before she did what I didn't expect. She scurried away like a little girl afraid of an animal and left me standing there. My knees were suddenly weak, and I felt very faint. Was that it? Did she not want me anymore? Was it just a sick game?

She stopped, as abruptly as she went and turned around. Her eyes searched mine, shining and lost, begging me to come to her. She was my own magnet so I didn't resist. We were hidden behind a big oak on the side of the building, protecting us like a shield.

"What happened?" I whispered, my voice urgent, knowing we had very little time. She swallowed and I couldn't help but follow the movement of her throat with my eyes.

"Banner found out the truth. I'm leaving the school." She seemed so resigned it made me lose it.

"No! No…Don't do that, please baby, no."

"There's nothing else to do, Edward. I have to be the stronger person or we could…"

"What, what? We could be happy? In love? No, God forbid that, of course!" I was aware that I was shouting but I needed a reaction from her. She didn't disappoint.

"Can you please stop yelling? Don't you think there's been enough drama?" Her eyes were shifting, her hands fidgeting over her books and I knew those words didn't come from her. Not really.

"Are you saying you don't want to be with me anymore? You're giving up?" That stupid game of questions we were playing made me want to vomit.

"I don't want to, we just have no other choice." She retorted, wanting to sound defiant but her voice was trembling. I understood because I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"Can you at least tell me how it happened?" I managed, gritting my teeth.

"Alice was curious and got the whole story out of James. He didn't mean any harm, he just told her and Banner heard their conversation. God, Edward it was so humiliating, talking about it with him."

"I know, I know. Your friend Alice, I know she's your friend but I could kill her right now."

The smallest smile graced her lips. I did that. _I was so pathetic._

"Trust me, you're not the only one. She and I are going to have a talk." She opened her mouth but seemed to think better of it.

"What were you about to say?" I whispered, barely restraining myself to fall at her knees and beg her to stay with me. I was about to draw blood my fists were clenched so tight.

"I…I wanted to tell you that I don't regret any of this. I wanted…to…have a story with you, even maybe something more. But it was a folly, I see that now. We can't be together anymore."

I wanted to be mad, to hurt her like she'd just hurt me but I could see the tears rolling and her arms shaking. She suffered torture, just like I did. I grabbed the books and threw them on the ground next to us. She gasped, not expecting my reaction and then softly moaned when I swallowed her protest with my lips.

It was not an angry kiss, it was fueled with desperation and anguish. Where would we go from here? We had reached a dead end and needed something to lose ourselves in.

"We need to stop." Bella whispered, softly pecking me, once, twice, three times.

And then, her face was as pale as ashes, her mouth open wide.

I turned around, only to be faced with the horrified eyes of my mother.

**Well…Ok…I'll be hiding…somewhere. See you very soon, trust me and don't forget to review :). Oh, and you can check my new story "Bitter little girl". xoxo.**


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Brace yourselves, it's gonna be rough...Both POVs for this one.**

All my defenses were down. All my big decisions, forgotten. How I could even think I could walk away from him was beyond me. A look from him, a word from him and I all but melted. We clicked in so many ways, he was the answer to all my questions about love.

I was not naïve and knew that Prince Charming didn't exist. If he did, all the obstacles and tragedies life could send you would disappear and everything would be easy and miraculous. I may have believed that when I was a young girl but I wasn't anymore and everyday life had a way to teach you to stop believing in useless illusions. Edward wasn't a miracle, he was just the man I had always wanted without knowing I did. Our situation was far from ideal but if I wanted a chance at happiness, I needed to believe that our story could work.

I really, really tried to cling to those happy thoughts while staring in panic at the cold face of Esme Cullen. The usually beautiful and calm expression of her face was replaced by an angry scowl, tinted with incredulity. Her lips were slightly open and I closed my eyes when the faintest whimper escaped them.

"Wh…What's going on here?" Esme asked in a rushed murmur, her stare now solely focused on me. Probably mentally throttling me.

"Mum, let me explain…" I heard his voice through the ringing in my ears. It would be the end for us, she'd make sure of it. Who could blame her?

"There's nothing to explain, apparently. Miss Swan, expect a visit from the police during the afternoon. Your father's going to be proud."

She was practically seething and her breathing was harsh and irregular betraying her emotions under the icy surface. She started dragging away but to my astonishment, he offered resistance. I never would have thought he'd defy her like this.

"No, I don't want to go…Mom, stop that!" He shouted. His pale face was twisted with frustration and anger.

"What are you doing Edward? Are you crazy, do you want to give these people a show?" Esme retorted.

"I don't care about other people..." He sighed, while I could see little groups of students forming and staring at us curiously.

"Well I do, so let's go home and leave that woman here. You need to be away from her, as fast as possible." I shivered at the coldness and disdain in her voice.

"She's not a woman, she's Bella. We love each other and…I…I'm not asking you to understand but at least respect that. Don't create any problems, Mom."

"I'm creating problems?" She shrieked. "Edward, she took advantage of you, she used you and now you're under her influence. Follow me please, because trust me, I won't hesitate to cause a scene, right here and your…teacher will take the brunt for it."

His eyes drifted from her to me and he looked so lost I wanted to curl myself up in his arms and take us to a place we'd never have to face judgement anymore.

"Bella…"

"Go." I managed though it tore me apart to do it. "It will be worse if you stay."

Esme Cullen leashed another hateful glare on me and practically pushed her son to the car. I swallowed my tears again.

Mom slammed the door after we both went it and broke the cold silence between us.

"So, that's what where you were, sleeping with that horrible woman and lying to me, all this time!"

"You knew where I was, Mom, I never lied about that." I tried to sound calm, knowing more anger was to come.

"How dare you, Edward? You know how hard the last few months have been for me, don't you? Why did you do this?"

"I didn't do anything wrong, Mom." I could see tears of rage threatening to fall and braced myself for the onslaught.

"You're right. You're not responsible for all this. That teacher of yours is going to pay for her crimes, let me tell you."

"That's not what I meant at all!" I cried, alarmed by the determination in her voice. "She didn't force herself on me. We both fell for each other."

"Edward, you're impressionable honey. You're so young and you have no idea what lo…" Her face was twisted in a desperate scowl. She was trying so hard to convince me of my errors. It only helped fueling my frustration.

"So, what? What are you saying? Now that Dad is dead, nobody in this house can be happy again? Mom, sorry to burst your bubble but I found happiness two months ago and I won't let it escape me. No matter what you do or say."

"What do you mean? Your father and I always provided you with love and everything you could ever want. You were perfectly happy before you met that horrible woman!"

"Oh, yes!" I exclaimed with a bitter laugh. "It was great! Dad had just died, you were in a catatonic state and Emmett and I had to deal with our own pain and shock."

Her face crumbled, all the anger leaving it and giving way to an immense sadness. I sighed.

"Look, Mom. It's not your fault. You were shocked and sad and lost. I get it. Emmett was devastated as well."

"What about you?" She asked, her voice tiny.

"I was sad of course."

"You don't sound very sad to me."

"Mom, I loved Dad. The truth is, I don't know…We had a distant relationship. You must have known that. We never really clicked, about anything. He loved Emmett more than me and I've made my peace with that."

"That's not true, no Edward. You're wrong!"

"Am I?" We had sat on the couch, both of us too drained to stand anymore.

"Your father loved you, sweetie. As much as he loved Emmett and as much as I love you."

"I have no doubts about your love for me."

She shook her head, resigning herself to my doubts.

"So, is that the reason for all this?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't feel loved and fall under the spell of a teacher. It makes perfect sense."

Clearly, it would be hard to explain.

"Bella isn't my mother, or a replacement for Dad. We're in love, Mom."

"I can't believe this! She clearly has done quite a number of you. The police are going to hear about that, trust me."

"No, Mom…"

Our sterile conversation came abruptly to an end when someone knocked on the door. Mom went to open it, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'd like to talk to you. I'm Charlie Swan."

**Only a few chapters left, dear readers :). Leave me your reviews, I want them!**


	47. Chapter 47

**Dear readers, I know it's been forever. I had lost my mojo but it seems to be back!**

It was a surprise to find Charlie at home when I got back from the school. My legs were practically wobbling and I had the hardest time standing straight. My head was still buzzing with Esme's hateful words. I didn't blame her for them. She was blinded with rightful anger and I was pretty sure I would have reacted the same way if placed in her situation.

Charlie raised his head when he heard me. Sitting in the couch like this, a little slouched and kind of defeated looking, my heart hurt for my father. I'd hurt him deeply, I knew it. He was a very ethical man, literally in love with traditions, the whole white picket fence and I had no doubt disappointed him.

"Hey, Dad." I whispered, trying to keep a normal voice even if I knew my white as chalk face would betray me in a second.

"What happened?" He asked, immediately picking up on the expression of my face. I must have looked terrible because he cringed.

"Bells? Tell me."

"She saw us at school." I mumbled, my eyes apprehensively waiting for his reaction.

"Oh, dear. What did she say?"

"She threatened to call the police. I think she's going to do it." I watched his eyes harden and he decidedly sat up, rubbing his knuckles on his temples, chasing a probably persistent headache.

"She won't, I'll go talk to her." He got up, grabbing his jacket before walking to the door, never once looking at me.

"Dad! Wait, please."

He slowly turned around, his hesitation palpable and painful to witness.

"What? Time is crucial here. We can't afford to waste any."

"I know, I know." I took a deep breath and for the first time I felt ready to be honest with my father. "You're disappointed and I can't blame you. This is a very weird and unusual situation, one I never thought I'd be in one day. I thought I'd live the traditional life, get married, have kids and all that."

"That's what I thought too." Charlie grumbled, tiredly blinking his eyes.

"Yes, well it didn't happen Dad. I tried it with Jake and you saw how it ended. Maybe I'm not cut out for that kind of life."

"What are you saying? You're using that kid to add a little excitement to your boring life?" His anger started to rise again.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. Sometimes, you think you can be happy settling in life. That's what I learned, Dad, true love is not settling. It's passion, it's raw, it's difficult sometimes but it's the best feeling."

"It's not true love, Bella, the guy is seventeen, foe Christ's sakes!"

"That's not what I see. When I met him, I felt myself become alive and that never had happened to me. He's the one for me, Dad and maybe, maybe he feels the same about me, Dad." My voice broke at the end and a few tears escaped.

Charlie cleared his throat, watching me with an expression mixed with understanding and embarrassment. He didn't approve but he was starting to see what I felt.

"We'll talk later, alright? I need to have a chat with Esme Cullen."

Bella's father was sitting on the big armchair, the one Dad always used to sit in when he was watching a game. He seemed nervous and jittery, which didn't surprise me. The look on my mother's face wasn't exactly one that'd put you at ease. She was gritting her teeth and her hand was squeezing her mug so hard her knuckles were white.

"Edward, I think you should leave the room. Chief Swan and I have things to discuss."

"Mom…"

"I think he should stay." He interrupted in a strong voice.

"Excuse me?"

"After all, this concerns him. More than you, in my opinion." Clear, honest eyes were observing me intently. There was curiosity there and maybe anger but no malice at all. I relaxed slightly.

"Of course it concerns me!" Mom spluttered.

"Alright, but Edward stays too."

"Fine." She sighed, her hands trembling. Guilt invaded me once again.

"I believe we have to find a solution to that whole ordeal that wouldn't destroy your son's or my daughter's life, don't you think Mrs. Cullen?"

"Your daughter deserves to have her life destroyed. I know you love her but can't you see how wrong what she did was?"

Charlie Swan sighed deeply. He put his coffee mug back on the table and seemed to brace himself for the next part of the conversation. Wise man. Our future depended on his next words.

"My daughter and your son have been irresponsible and acting like fools, I agree with you." He interrupted to gauge our reactions. Seeing my mother's shocked face and my angry expression, he raised his left hand, as if to stop us.

"Yes, I include your son in the equation, Mrs. Cullen. He's almost eighteen and he's not a child anymore, almost an adult. And Edward, yes my daughter and you have been acting impulsively and foolishly because you never measured the consequences of your actions."

A tense silence followed. Mum was still angry but the iron grasp around the mug had loosened. She was now looking at Charlie instead of the wall. I decided it was time for me to say something.

"Mr. Swan, I know what we did shocks you and my mother and I don't know how to defend our actions as you called them. We were simply..."

"In love, I know that. It's a powerful emotion, isn't it? Makes us all do things we never thought we'd be capable of. If you look at me, you'd never think I spent the last twenty years trying and yet never managing to forget Bella's mother. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, Mrs. Cullen."

"How dare you manipulating what happened to us? I know what love is. Love is building a foundation, having kids and a nice life together." Mom retorted.

"Love can be that way, yes. Reasonable and accepted by conventions. Sometimes, it works and sometimes it doesn't. It seems our children are not the reasonable type and have decided to love each other whether society accepts it or not. We can't understand it but if being together makes them happy, who are we to judge?"

"Edward is a child!" Mom shouted.

"No, I'm not." I answered in my calmest voice. "I know you're worried about me but I'm not a little kid anymore, Mom. I beg you to reconsider your position. Please."

She suddenly and unexpectedly broke into sobs, as if she had been restraining them for hours, which she probably had.

"You'll always be my little boy."

Charlie stayed prudently silent through all this, letting us to our moment. I knew then that Mom wouldn't sue Bella but our problems were far from over. I saw Charlie check his cell and raise his eyebrows. Surprise and shock were written all over his face.

"Are you alright, Mr. Swan?" I asked, still comforting my crying mother.

"Not really. Bella just sent me a text."

"What happened?" My voice was frantic with worry.

"She's moving to Paris, she found a job."

**Only a few chapters left. Please review.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Now, that was fast…Don't hate Bella too much, the poor girl has enough problems already ;).**

**BPOV**

Once Charlie had left, I took refuge in the kitchen, nursing my growing anxiety with a burning cup of tea. I was torn between the sheer terror of Esme's reaction to Dad's visit which made me feel like a coward and the powerful urge to see and be with Edward. Once or twice, I even got up from my chair, took my jacket only to fall back on the kitchen chair.

I was not scared for me, oh no. It was just that the prospect of never seeing or touching him again was a paralyzing one. I was dreading it and yet knew that it more than likely would happen. Even if by some miracle, Esme didn't press any charges, she'd never allow me near her son again and I could see where she was coming from. Her vulnerability was perfectly understandable and I'd never encourage anything that'd separate her from her son. She needed him too much right now.

The phone rang, breaking my painful thoughts and I was grateful for it.

« Hello? »

« Bella? Is that you, pumpkin? » No, it couldn't be…

« Marie? Oh my God! How are you? » For the first time in days, I felt a little lighter.

"I'm fine, honey. How are you?"

"I've been better…" I sighed. She didn't need to know and mostly, I didn't feel ready to say anything.

"Still teaching in that little town of yours, the middle of nowhere right?" I smiled, she'd never change. She was a city girl and could never understand my choice.

"I'm still in Forks but I…quit my job." I managed, swallowing hard. Edward's smiling face before he kissed me hit me like a punch in the gut.

"That's just great!" She exclaimed. I frowned in confusion.

"Why is that so great?"

"It's great because now, you're free to come to Paris and teach in my school."

"Y-your school?" I stuttered, completely astonished.

"Yes, Bella, the private school I became the headmaster of a few months ago. After my mother's death." Her voice wavered. I knew she had a complicated relationship with her mother and still, the pain was there. Once again, I thought of Edward and his mum, how much she must need him right now.

"I'm sorry, Marie. That must have been so hard for you."

"Well, it's been…" She cleared her throat, sniffling. "I've had better days, that's for sure. And I'd love my old college roommate to come to my rescue. What do you say Bella?"

I said I'd take a few days to think about it but my decision was made. I had to make it a clean break and it'd be the hardest thing I'd have ever done in my thirty years. Edward had a life here, with his family. I needed to go.

**EPOV**

My heart stopped beating and I felt the blood drain from my face. The shock had been so violent it left me trembling from head to toe.

"What do you mean, she's going to Paris?"

"That's what she says here, she found a teaching position there and decided to take it. She'll be leaving in a few days. Assuming of course you don't sue her in court." Charlie finished, his eyes on my mother. I suddenly hated her because she'd ruined everything. I knew I was irrational but the pain was so big it felt like I was torn in two.

"Edward…" Mom whispered, clutching my hand. "It's for the best, honey."

I tore my hand away from her and got up, shaking with fear and anger. I needed to see her, she couldn't do that to me, to us. We belonged together, didn't she see that?

"Are you going to sue Bella, Mom?"

"I haven't made up my mind yet."

"Decide quickly because let me tell you, if you do that, I'll go away and you'll never see me again." My voice had never been so resolute. I saw Mom blanch.

"I can't believe you're blackmailing me, Edward."

"Believe it. I love you, but if you do that, I'll disappear, Mom. I'll be eighteen soon and you won't be able to do anything anyway. What do you choose?"

"We need to talk about it…"

"Not now!" I barked. "I need to talk to Bella."

"Oh no, young man. I've been more than understanding but let me tell you, if..." Charlie interrupted. I lost control then and there.

"I love her, alright? I love her more than anything, can't you both see that? Fate wanted us to meet and played us a cruel joke. Love doesn't care about age difference and society rules, about propriety. It does what it wants and doesn't fucking care about what everybody thinks. Tie me, restrain me, I'll still find a way to see her, ok?" My voice cracked, matching the tears on my face. Charlie looked sad and embarrassed and Mom was watching me, clear understanding in her eyes.

"Please, let me go, I'll do anything." I begged.

After their tiny nods, I ran out of the door.

**BPOV**

Leaving was the only option. Esme could maybe change her mind about court but deep down, I knew she'd never forgive me for my actions and I didn't blame her for even a second. I had taken advantage of her son and I had betrayed one of my job's most important rules. It didn't matter if I got my heart trampled in the process. I deserved it and more. Esme deserved the presence of her son with her, his support.

The door burst open, startling me. The vision before me almost made me change my mind. Edward's eyes were shining with tears, his hair disheveled, his face crazed with worry. I probably looked the same.

"Please tell me that's not true."

"I can't do that." I managed.

"Why?"

"You know why. I've only caused heartache and chaos in your life. Neither you or your family need more pain than what you've already suffered."

"So, that's your solution? Leaving me? Abandoning what we have together? I've never loved anyone as much as you and I never will."

"You don't know that." I lied.

"Yes, yes, I do." He whispered feverishly, wrapping me in his arms. I melted and returned his embrace, just as fiercely.

When I felt his kisses in my neck, I knew I should have pushed him away, told him it was over, broken his heart and mine in the process.

I didn't. I kissed him back. Reality could wait.

**Only three chapters after this one and we'll have reached the end of our story. Please review.**


	49. Chapter 49

**Two chapters left, dear readers…**

Bella fell into my arms like she was surrendering from war. It was not the first time it happened. Actually, it had always been like this between us. I chased and she ran away from me. It was painful and frustrating but I liked it too. I knew things wouldn't be easy between us and I was glad I had to fight for her. Fighting for someone wasn't something people like to do in that day and age and I regretted that. Everything was too easy, people wanted fun and superficial, I just wanted her.

My entire body was covered in goose bumps when I felt her kisses on my jaw, getting tentatively closer to my mouth. I knew her, I knew what she wanted and yet was still hesitating to take. That's why I pulled away, making her moan in protest.

"He, he, wait..." I whispered, trying hard to catch my breath. "We need to talk about this."

"I don't want to talk, I just want you." She panted, her eyes burning and filled with a strange longing.

I almost caved then but it was now or never. Our future together was at stake at that very moment.

"Really? You were more than ready to fly away from me, weren't you? Why Bella?" I heard myself shouting the last question, tears of rage filling my eyes. I wiped them hastily, watching her crumble in front of me.

Her face was pale and her lips trembling, her hands in fists on each side of her body. I had to physically restrain myself from taking her in my arms.

"It's the only way Edward, and you know it. The only way to get out of that nightmare."

"That nightmare? Is that how you see our relationship?" Punched in the gut, that's how I felt.

"No! No! Never!" She cried in alarm, her eyes imploring.

"Can you explain then? Because I don't get it..."

"Your mother needs you."

"So? She needs me and then you leave? How is that relevant?"

"You don't understand..." She sighed.

"Oh I get it perfectly. You're scared of what could happen to your quiet little life if you stayed with me." A little provocation couldn't hurt, right?

"That's not…I'm lost, alright?" She whispered, collapsing on the couch, her face in her hands.

"You're lost?" I sat next to her, careful not to touch her. I knew I'd melt on the spot if I did.

"For the first time in my life, I can honestly say I've lost all control of myself so yes, I'm lost. That terrifies me."

"Is that so bad that you have no control?" I braced myself for the answer.

"I have no idea…"She finally admitted, her shining eyes on mine. "This, what we have, is the most freeing and scary thing that ever happened to me. You're the most unexpected and wonderful thing that ever happened to me. I've always lived by the rules, this is so new to me." My heart pounded even harder than before. It was like she told me she loved me for the first time again.

"This is new for me too, baby…" I whispered, finally allowing myself to wrap her in my arms. "We can't be apart, don't you know that?"

"Edward, if I stay, your mother will see that as a provocation and she will sue me, I know it. We can't risk that…It would be for a few months, a year maximum and then, we could be free."

"Bella, I'm going to be eighteen in a month. If we keep a low profile, we'd be free much sooner." I saw her jaw clinch and I knew she was fighting tears. "That's not the reason you're leaving, isn't it?"

"No, it's not." She simply said, shaking her head.

"Oh, you really think I'm going to accept your answer?"

"Alright, you want the truth?" She exploded, making me jump with surprise. "I'm leaving because I don't want you to ruin your life with me, I'm leaving because your mother needs you so much right now and I don't want to be the cause of more heartbreak for your family. And mostly...I'm leaving because I need to think about who I am."

"I see..." I mumbled, feeling powerless to stop the disaster I knew her departure would cause.

"No, you don't." She smiled sadly. "I love you so much Edward and I don't want to leave, really baby. All I want to do is curl on this couch with you until the end of time or take me to my bed, feel your body on mine and never be apart from you. I just have to do this, for both our sakes."

"So, my mother is suffering, but I'm not? I need you right now."

"See? That's another thing that scares me. I'm afraid our relationship is that intense because it helps you through the pain of losing your father. Being apart for a little while could help us see things clearly."

"Things are clear to me, Bella. I understand that you want to take some distance to clear your head and see if you really love me like you said or if that was just a rebound fling for you but don't blame it on me being confused because I'm not." I suddenly got up and started to walk towards the door. Her alarmed cry stopped me dead in my tracks.

"No! Where are you going?"

"I don't think there's anything else to say…" I managed, hating the way my voice broke at the end. "I'd better go so you can…get ready to leave."

"Edward, no, don't go, not now, I'm not…"

"You're not what?"

"I'm not ready for you to go, please stay, please…" she begged, clinging to me with all her might.

"If I stay, I won't be capable of leaving, you know that…" I sighed, weak in front of her.

"I can't watch you leave yet..." Little kisses started making their way up my neck, devouring me as if I was her last meal.

"I want you, Bella…" I growled, surrendering.

"Yes, yes, yes…" She whispered almost deliriously and offered me her mouth.

Things got blurry and feverish after that. I remember following her to her room, silently and hungrily undressing and consuming each other with a desperate and hopeless passion, like never before. I remember her clawing at my back while I possessed her and my raw noises when she possessed me in return. The moment of peace after that.

Mostly, I remember the tears I cried and how empty I felt when she left two days after.

**No, she didn't…Well, yes she did. Not a big fan of my Bella's at the moment, so let me and her have it, I know you want to ;). Also, no new chapter for a couple of weeks, I have family visiting. Thanks for reading!**


	50. Chapter 50

**I got to get this off my chest. I know some of you don't get Bella's attitude and I understand that. Just know that sometimes, even grown-ups make bad decisions. Being in love with someone doesn't mean being perfect or never hurting him/her. Yes, she's deeply flawed, as is Edward, even if he appears as the perfect guy. Those characters were never meant to be flawless. People never are.**

**Ok, I feel better :). Sorry for the wait, I hope you'll like this one.**

My room was white, entirely and depressingly white. Almost clinical to be honest, with no posters or decorations whatsoever. It felt very strange, after all the little childhood tokens Charlie had kept in my old room in Forks. The only vivid touch of color was the card sent by Alice, which had red roses and a cute puppy on the cover.

Before I left, I had had a frank, rather brutal conversation with her about her lack of discretion that had cost me so much. After a lot of yelling and frustrating pouting on her part, I had stormed out of her little house and sworn I'd never speak to her again. Of course, like most decisions I had taken, I started regretting this one a few days later. I was already in Paris then and could have cried in relief and joy when I received her apology card. Of course, I didn't believe her candid « I promise to never, ever again butt in in your life, Bella » because I knew she would, that was in her character, but her apologies made me feel better and I knew she regretted her words.

My experience so far was satisfying and I really enjoyed being in Paris. The fast pace of a big city, the incredible beauty and cruelty of it, that strange mix of ancient and brutally modern was a refreshing change from the quietness of Forks. Everything was far from perfect though. My students were tough and sarcastic even though the challenge was pretty exciting. I had very few people I could count on and have a nice time with. Mostly, oh yes, mostly, some days I missed Edward so much it was hard to breathe, suffocating. Everything about him was branded in my memory. His touch, his smell, his delicious voice, the way he loved me, the way he must have felt when I so cowardly left him.

It was difficult to explain, why I had done it, even to myself. On the one hand, it had been like tearing my own arm out. The day I had left, I had felt like a robot, letting Charlie take charge of everything because I was incapable of functioning. Tears were continuously rolling on my face and nothing could ever be good again. On the other hand, I also had a gut reaction of relief. I was never the one to be rebellious or to cross the line so the whole story had been a nightmare for my intimate emotions. Distance was good, distance was essential at the time, as painful as it might be.

Now was a whole different story. Today was Edward's birthday and I felt like a wreck. Everything was coming back to me. My students looked at me with strange expressions all day long, probably wondering what the hell was happening to me. I stuttered and made mistakes and yelled, which never happened to me when I was in class. Sitting on my little balcony now, watching the view, everything looked empty to me and then I realized something I should have known before I left. Edward was it for me, and even if he never wanted to see or talk to me again, I'd love him until my last breath.

The phone rang, tearing me from my somber thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Well, what a friend you are missy!"

"Heidi?" I couldn't contain the huge smile that spread on my face. It felt so good to hear a friendly voice, apart from Charlie's.

"You don't call, you don't write, you don't even tell me you're leaving?!" She shouted, but I could hear the relief in her voice.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Oh no, that'd be too easy. You leave me here, on my own, WITHOUT WARNING and I'm supposed to forgive you that easily?"

"I'm a moron, aren't I?" I grumbled.

"Damn right you are! You should have seen your father the day after you left. He came here, can you imagine?! In my café, the Chief of police. Good news is I have a whole new clientele now, thanks to him."

"Congrat…"

"He looked like a ghost, Bella. White as one, his moustache trembling, everything. Do you realize what a mess you've left?"

"Yes, I'm aware of that now, Heidi." I whispered, sitting before I fell.

"Have you heard from Edward?" She asked bluntly but her tone was softer. My heart started pounding, just to hear his name. How could I be that foolish? Jail, hell, everything would have been better than this empty loss.

"No, I haven't."

"Do you wish you could?"

"Heidi, what are you saying?"

"Happy birthday Edward, here."

"Bella?" said the most beautiful voice in the world. I couldn't help it, I started crying and laughing at the same time. "Bella, is that really you?"

"Edward…" was all I could say. My breath was short, coming out in pants.

"Are you alright, baby?" His tender voice asked, full of worry, full of that fucking love I had stupidly let slip away.

"Is that you? Is that really you?" I whimpered.

"Who else?" He sounded shaken, like he couldn't believe we were talking.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry, Edward. Please forgive me, I know that what I've done is..."

"Bella? Could you shut up for a second? I need to tell you something."

Stunned, I could only nod my head. Then I realized he couldn't see me.

"Yes."

"Do you have a paper and a pen?"

"Yes, why?"

"Go grab them."

I did, as fast as I could, my heart pounding, my breath still short.

"I'm listening."

"Flight 1420, arrival 6.05 PM, Air France, tomorrow night at Charles de Gaulle airport."

"Wh...What?" I stuttered. It couldn't be. _It could be! _sang my happy heart.

"I'll be there tomorrow night."

**Only two chapters left, dear readers :). Tell me what you think and come check out my new story "White Flash".**


	51. Chapter 51

**So…I have no excuse for the looong wait I put you through. I had a huge case of writer's block and a tough time in my personal life. I'll update all my stories though, I promise. Thanks to anyone who's still reading :).**

I left Forks on a Friday, Heidi driving me to the airport, in spite of my mother's protests. She had stopped being spiteful when Bella had left but she still didn't understand any of it. It had taken all of Emmett's persuasion to help her consider what I'd do if she refused to let go. She had to realize I would leave for good, I would leave her behind me without looking back. That made her stop and think.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a selfish person. I would do anything for my family. Anything but lose Bella. I know she thinks I should stay, that I'm too young to fully realize the impact of a relationship between us. She may be right, but I won't spend the rest of my life wondering if that could have worked, torturing myself. Life is short after all, my father could tell you that.

Heidi was very sweet, not that I didn't know that before. She was so upset when she found out that Bella had run away, like it was a betrayal to her. I guess she was just angry and when she finally calmed down, she helped me cope. She helped me in more ways than one. Helped me understand that my mom needed time and understanding, not anger coming from me.

I had to go. I needed to, because my life literally depended on it. I knew Bella had run away but I also understood that she wasn't a coward. Sometimes, life gets too much and you need to protect yourself and the ones you love. God, I hoped I was included in that group.

The airport was crowded as usual. I could remember the first time I was here last summer, all scared and anxiously waiting for my friend Denis, whom I had started corresponding with to pick me up. I could speak a little French but still felt completely lost. In the gigantic space that was Charles de Gaulle, it was hard not to.

I felt her presence before I saw her. Her body grazed mine, hesitating. When I met her eyes, they reflected the same feelings. Worry and tenderness all wrapped up in one beautiful package. I couldn't help it, I crushed her in a hug. She started crying and laughing at the same time, as if her body didn't know what to do.

"You're crazy…" She whispered, her nose slowly inhaling my neck, making me shiver.

"Oh and you're not? Running away like you did…" I chastised, my eyes letting her know I wasn't angry.

"I was a coward, I know that. I should have stayed and faced the consequences. I just couldn't…"

"Why?" I asked, bracing myself for her answer.

"I was afraid." It was just a murmur, her lips stubbornly closing, her whole body tense. I could have cried with frustration.

"Tell me why, that's all I'm asking. I'll accept everything, I'll even leave if you want me to."

"No!" Her whole body protested too, arms gripping my waist with all the strength they could muster.

"I was afraid that you were the one for me." She finally confessed, eyes clear and teary.

"Why were you afraid of that?" I barely recognized my own voice. It was shaky and hoarse, as if it would break in a second.

"I couldn't believe it, that you could want me. You're such a brilliant, gorgeous young man, how could you notice me, love me even? It made no sense to me." Her words were rushed, feverish. She looked scared, as if I would stop her from talking. "It still doesn't make any sense to me. I was never able to truly love a man. I spent years with my ex-boyfriend only to realize that I had no passion for him, only a lukewarm affection, one that would never be enough. He loved me and I didn't deserve him…I had resigned myself to this life and then, one day…" She sobbed, her forehead on my shoulder but she quickly wiped her tears away.

"One day?" I whispered. My heart was pounding like a drum, making it difficult to breathe.

"One day, you came into my life. You were a storm, you destroyed my careful existence in the best way possible. When I saw you that day, I knew that nothing would ever be the same for me again. You obsessed me, I wanted to be close to you, to taste you, to know everything about you." I moaned quietly, kissing her neck, licking a little, to let her know without a word that I felt the same.

"And then we kissed, we made love and I was lost." She saw the flash of hurt crossing my face and rushed to explain. "It was the best period of my life Edward, I was so happy I couldn't hide it, even if I knew it was wrong. I couldn't bring myself to care. "

"What happened?"

"Your mum's reaction was like an electric shock. I realized how selfish I had been, never considering the hurt I would cause her."

"Did you worry about your career too?" I asked, worrying my lower lip with my teeth.

"I thought it would be the case but no…I only cared about what your mother thought of me. I wanted a professional change anyway." She kissed the side of my mouth, freeing it from the torture I was inflicting.

"Are you finished?"

"For now, yes…" Her shy smile made me melt and almost lose my resolve.

"You're an idiot."

"What?" She gasped, still firmly huddled in my arms.

"Instead of talking to me about all this, what do you do? You fly to Paris, you run away from me! Can you even imagine what that did to me? I felt like I was not good enough for you."

"Oh no, no Edward! I never thought that, not for a second. I was the one who felt…inadequate I guess. I love you so much, it was so hard to leave…"

"Prove it." I said, trying my best to keep a stern face.

"Prove what?"

"That you love me."

"Wh…"

"I know a thing or two that could really convince me, Ms Swan…" I whispered in her ear. A long shudder travelled on her body and she exhaled with a trembling breath.

"I think I know what you mean…" She answered, pressing herself into me, making me even harder.

"You do? Then what are we waiting for?"

We ran all the way to the cab station.

**Last chapter next week! Please review.**


	52. Chapter 52

**My dear readers, here's the last chapter of Homework, sorry for the long wait again. See you at the end.**

I had never thought I'd love my apartment's door that much one day. I mean, it was pretty bland, woody and white, nothing special. You think I'm crazy, right? Wait until Edward Cullen and his long, lean body of his press you against said door, you will undoubtedly see the beauty of it.

The ride back home had been feverish and frustrating. Wanting to touch, to devour, to kiss and yet unable to do so because of the driver who wanted to chat. Apparently, he had been to Seattle once and shared his memories generously while we "ooed" and "aaed" in all the right places. Edward had been distracted from the incessant chatter by the view we had of Paris, pleasantly prolonged for once by the annoying traffic. It was like the city was on our side, showing off its unique lights just for us.

All bets were off when we crossed the threshold. Edward kept his eyes on mine all the time he slowly peeled off all my clothes and started trailing kisses all over my neck and collarbone. Shivering and feeling deliriously faint, I stripped him of his own clothes and revealed his soft skin. That's when I realized how crazy I had been in my exile. It was impossible to live and breathe without him, his scent and his warmth. He was as essential to me as air. His eyes told me he felt the same.

He entered me with the mixture of slowness and trepidation I didn't know I was craving. Our hands were joined while we moved, in a silent promise. We came not long after and I was home.

Edward joined me in the kitchen a few days after that while I was sipping my coffee. A bunch of letters had arrived, one of which I was eyeing with apprehension since it obviously came from Esme Cullen.

"We should read those before we go on with our day…" he whispered while kissing my neck.

"I don't want to." I pouted. I knew I was acting like a child but the warm bubble we had been living in felt too good to be left.

"What if I distracted you between each of them, would it be easier baby?" His naughty smile made my knees weak and trembling. He swiftly picked me up and sat me on the counter, sliding his gorgeous body between my legs. I managed to nod and swallowed hard.

"The first one is from Heidi, it should be the easiest don't you think?"

"Probably…" I sighed, opening the envelope.

_Dear Bella,_

_I guess you probably don't want to read this letter since the gorgeous boy we both know and fantasize on is probably doing very bad things to you as I ramble. I just wanted to let you know that I missed you a lot and hope to visit soon. Don't worry, I'll bring earplugs._

_Love,_

_Heidi_

Edward snorted and I couldn't contain my own laughter. Heidi was truly a great friend and without her, who knew where we'd be? Edward lightly kissed my collarbone, making me shiver and turning my mirth into lust in a second. He was good like that.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" He whispered against my neck.

"It was the first one…" I managed, whimpering when he started pushing my skirt up my thighs.

"Read me the one from Emmett", he ordered in a husky voice. I cleared my throat in spite of his damn hands making the simple task difficult.

_Dear Edward,_

_I hope you're happy, man. Mum has been shitting bricks but she's calmer when Dr. Therapist is here. She wrote you a letter, hope it isn't too bad. I want you to know I understand why you left everything and went. If Rosalie left, I'd probably become mad. I wish Bella can bring you all the good you deserve. That's a lot of good, if you want to know. Love you, bro._

_Emmett_

I could see my love's eyes shimmering but he didn't stop. He kept on massaging my thighs and started tugging on my panties whispering "Emmett" in a hushed voice. I bit my lip to keep from moaning. Too loud anyway.

"How many letters left?" He groaned. My labored breathing turned into panting.

"F…four."

"From?"

"The School Principal, my father, Alice and your mom." I whispered, slowly peeling off his shirt. His pale creamy skin turned me on even more than I was.

"You want to do this, Bella?" he asked, tearing the fragile lace off.

"Yes…" I moaned. My brain had flown through the window, like every time we were together like this.

He knelt in front of me.

"Alice first, then." It was good he made the decision because I was a wanton mess.

_Dear Bella,_

_Once again, I'm deeply sorry for what I did. You have to know it wasn't malevolent on my part and that it just was a conversation that was overheard. I don't approve of what you're doing but I can understand why you did it. When you fall in love, everything else disappears, right? That's what happened to Jasper and me. You're invited to the wedding with Edward. I won't be mad if you can't but think about it, ok?_

_Love you,_

_Alice_

The last few words had been garbled at best. It was all Edward's fault. Being clear when the man of your dreams licks and sucks you with gusto is kind of a challenge. I came just before choosing which letter would be next.

"Mmmhh… do you feel better, baby, more relaxed?" He smiled, slowly licking his lips like he had tasted a delicious meal.

"Boneless would be more accurate…" I chuckled, wrapping his face in my hands and tasting myself faintly under his kiss.

"Speaking of bone…" He hinted with a smirk.

"Do we have a problem, here?" While palming his erection, I picked my father's letter with apprehension.

"Don't worry, Bella, it will be fiiiine…" He sighed when I started unbuttoning his pants.

"I'm gonna read this and then I want you to fuck me."

"What am I, your sex slave Miss Swan?"

"And don't you forget it…"

_My Bella,_

_The house has been so empty since you've been gone. I know I've said a lot of terrible things to you and that you want to keep your distance for now but I love you unconditionally. When you're ready, I'll be there with open arms._

_Daddy_

Edward dried my tears with his kisses and the passion between us flared once again. Tongues and moans, lips and teeth and the letters were all but forgotten.

He took me like I'd always dreamt of being taken, on the kitchen counter, wildly and mindlessly. I could feel everything. His balls hitting my ass with each thrust, the roundness of his own butt in my hands, the delicious torture of his lower torso on my clit and his cock claiming that I was his, his, his. There had never been any doubt though.

Several simultaneous screams after, we cuddled on the couch and read his mother's letter together.

_My dear Edward,_

_Why didn't you call me when you got there? I was so worried. I'm glad Heidi let me know you'd arrived safely or I'd have gone mad with worry. _

_When are you coming back? I still want to believe this is a phase and you'll grow out of it. Out of respect for your feelings and Charlie Swan, I won't sue …her but I want you to know I'm still not happy about this. Please, please, reconsider._

_Email me, it will be faster than writing._

_Love,_

_Mom_

"Are you ok?" Edward asked, his own eyes flashing with sadness and annoyance.

"She needs some time. We had to know she wouldn't be accepting right away." I tried to convince myself as much as him but deep inside, I doubted Esme would ever forget what I did to her son. To her, it would always be an adult taking advantage of a child. Her child.

"Last letter is from Mr. Banner." He picked it and started to read.

_Dear Ms. Swan,_

_I'm writing you to let you know you are sorely missed here. Every student you had in class came to me and asked where you were and how you were. Even Mike Newton, can you believe it? I hope this letter finds you well and happy. If Mr. Cullen is next to you, tell him your project has been exposed in the halls and library and was very popular. A little culture and beauty in this world is always appreciated._

_Hoping to hear from you soon,_

_Brad Banner_

"Who knew homework would make me so happy?" Edward laughed, kissing my temple.

I closed my eyes, thinking that truer words had never been spoken.

**Well, this is the end, beautiful friends ;). Thanks for following me through this incredible journey. Homework will always have a special place in my heart and you're a huge part of that. So, thank you for your lovely reviews and your patience! See you soon…**


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